Reborn
by jamiesgirl
Summary: After a tragic event in her life Gabriella wants to put it behind her and go back to normal, only she slowly begin to realize that because of this tragedy her life may never be normal again. Transferring into a new school and making new friends is hard enough but Gabriella soon finds out that things are more complicated than she ever imagine or sign up for. I do not own HSM.
1. Chapter 1

"When you say haunted, you mean?"

"Haunted." Gabriella pulled at her sleeve looking around the room uneasy. This doctor had a red couch. Not like Doctor Morgan who had a beige one.

"Alright." The woman in the black jacket and matching skirt shifted in her seat. She was becoming impatient. They were only an hour into their session. "What do you hope to accomplish by transferring into the University of Berkley from Stanford?"

Silence ticked by as both women stared at each other judging the other in the same matter. Gabriella looked over towards the window. "I just don't want to be 'that girl' anymore."

"That girl?" The woman looked down at her clipboard.

"A victim," Gabriella said "A Rape victim." She clarified with a grunt.

"So you think coming to a new school will help you forget." The woman suggested.

"It's not possible to forget." Gabriella's eyes met hers without hesitation. "At first I just wanted to sleep. I thought maybe a coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind." Gabriella went quite as she closed her eyes.

"Have you been intimate with a man since the incident?" The woman asked in a low voice.

Gabriella opened her eyes, she took in the red lipstick caked onto the doctors lips. The most makeup Gabriella wore these days was a tube of Blistex she kept in her back pocket for her chapped lips. "Do you know that most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while most women fear rape and death?" Gabriella raised a brow. "Let's just say I've lost interest."

"Says here your only 19, your birthday is next month is that correct?" She pointed at something on her clipboard and looked back up at Gabriella.

"Yes."

"Do you have any plans?" The woman asked with a small smile.

"No." Gabriella shook her head.

"How have you been settling into your new room?"

"My roommate thinks I'm crazy." Gabriella leaned back into her brown chair. She refused to sit on the red couch, deeming it to bright.

"Crazy?" The woman eyebrows rose.

"I don't blame her." Gabriella said looking off at some random stain on the carpet. Wondering why it was there or what the substance was.

"Well, in order to make progress I suggest maybe going out, getting involved in some social activity, maybe even making a few new friends?" The woman put her clipboard on the small side table to her right. The session was coming to an end.

Gabriella nodded as she looked at the clipboard on the table then at the doctor. "I'll try."

"I hope to hear some positive feedback at our nest session." The woman stood up holding out a hand to Gabriella.

"As do I." Gabriella trucked a strand of hair behind her ear and then took the woman's hand in soft yet firm handshake.

The first step out onto the sidewalk was greeted by the summer air. People rode by on bikes while others rollerbladed down the pavement. Gabriella adjusts her sweatshirt as she felt her body begin to sweat a little. It was a 20 minute walk back to the campus. Exactly five blocks with three turns. No alleys, no abandon buildings, most importantly all public access.

Gabriella tugged her baseball cap down on to shield her face as she begun to walk back to campus. She was living in the Foothill dorm. Her dorm had looked better on the brochures and on the internet which listed Foothill as a beautiful housing complex located at the top of Beaumont Avenue hill on the northeast side of campus. In reality it was a old building with lots of trees outside which attracted misquotes. Against her better judgment she went with a co-ed dorm. Deciding to face her fear and attempt to prepare herself for the rest of her life, she couldn't hide forever, but she could prepare.

She had self defense classes on Tuesday at 3pm, she meet with the doctor on Mondays and Wednesdays at 4pm, she had four classes she was taking. Most of all her credits from Stanford had transferred over without any problems. Academically she was fitting in perfectly. Socially she was still standing on the outside looking in. Which was a far better situation then her experience at Stanford.

Gabriella walked down the side walk making her way around and through crowds of people, finding comfort in open spaces. In the last year her world had been turned upside down. She had been changed that night, changed to be forever different from everyone else. Living with life after an attack is something that no one can prepare you for. It was uncharted territory, struggling every day to pull back just a little more confidence, a little more bravery. Every day that past was a day she wouldn't have to repeat. A conversation that was over, a awkward silence forgotten. Every day it was about learning how to adapt back into a world that had no place for her.

When she reached the campus a sigh of relief came over her as she approached the doors to Foothill. The common areas were buzzing with people. It was still in the early part of the fall semester, freshmen were around every corner. Girls were parading around in cut off shorts rolled up to high and skimpy tops that hung to low.

The sound of flip flops padding down the hall. Gabriella only wore gym shoes. Gym shoes were much easier to run away in, much more adaptable to pavement or slick surfaces if you ever need to escape. Gabriella came around the corner to the elevators. Her breath quickened as she pressed the button. The staircase was isolated, not enough people, too many dark shadows. The door to the elevator opened as she walked straight and to the left. Her body as close as possible to the control panel, her hand inched out just far enough to tap the emergency button.

After a while most of her little ticks had become a second nature to her. Always let someone know where you're going. Never allow someone to follow you into a building. Lock every door, lock every window, and make sure you have your keys at all times. The first three numbers on her speed dial were 911, campus security, her doctor. She also knew them all by heart. She trusted her gut, walked with confidence even if she didn't have it. She had a rape whistle on her key chain; she never carried more than one or two bags. Even a year after the attack life was very different from how things were before the attack.

The elevator opened and she was the first one out. A quick look behind her to make sure everything was clear and she slipped her key into the lock. She was back in her room. She let out a sigh as she removed her sweater and her baseball cap.

"Hey,"

Gabriella looked over to where her roommate was sitting on the bed reading a book. "Hey," Gabriella responded.

"3 hours exactly," She said looking up at the clock. "I don't know if that's freaky or scary."

Gabriella nodded with a small smile as she hung up her things. Her room mates name was Taylor McKessie she was an African American girl who wore raspberry lotion. Her roommate had a boyfriend, Chad Danforth, an African American boy with lots of hair. She walked in on them making out already. She wasn't comfortable with the idea of a boy being in the room, but she wasn't about to make her roommate anymore distant then she already was. Besides this was what she wanted, a shove back into reality, to get away from the knowing eyes and sympatric treatment, to be somewhere, where she wasn't 'that girl'.

There was a knock on the door and Gabriella turned to look over at Taylor.

"I'm not expecting anyone." she said turning the page in her book and making no effort to get the door.

"Right," Gabriella said with a small nod as she walked over to the door and unlocked it cautiously pulling it open a small amount.

"Hey," A boy with Blue eyes stood outside the door looking into the room. Gabriella blocked his view with her body through the crack of the door.

"Can I help you?" she said giving him a once over. Another tick she made it a habit to remember every face. Even if she didn't have a name, she knew exactly who was talking too and when she saw them last. Approximately 2 out of 3 assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. 38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.

"Troy Bolton," he said holding out his hand. When she didn't take it he pulled it back and looked at her oddly. "I'm your resident adviser," he said looking at her with a raised brow. "I need you to fill out some forms." He held up the papers.

"Do you have an id?" Gabriella asked. Always ask anyone who wants information from you for identification.

"Nooo," Troy said now looking around in the hall before looking back at her. "I mean I have a student Ra id, it's in my room."

"I'll wait," Gabriella said watching his reaction.

"Right," Troy nodded slowly and then turned around Gabriella opened the door a little more as she watched him walk three doors down to an open room where he disappeared. The halls were empty just a few stragglers down the hall on their way out. About a moment later he reappeared holding up a plastic card. "Is this alright?"

Gabriella took the card and looked at all the information on it, committing it to memory. "Alright,"

"Right," Troy took the id back and shoved it into his back pocket. "Can I come in?"

When she didn't answer someone else did, "Oh for god sakes," The door swung open and Taylor stood there besides Gabriella looking out into the hall where Troy was standing. "Come in Troy."

"I'm okay," Troy raised a brow, "I don't have to come in." Troy looked at Gabriella with a cautious expression. "I'll tell you what; here are the forms I need. Since I inspected the room when Taylor moved in I don't have to inspect it again. Whenever you're done you can slide them under my door or something."

Gabriella took the forms Troy. "Thank you,"

"If you ever need anything at all, I'm three doors and I have tons of brochures so even if it's one of those issues that are really awkward we can figure something out and find the right someone to talk to." Troy smiled and nodded as he looked back around the empty hall. "You ladies have a good evening." He said nodding shoving his hands in his pockets as he made his way down the hall back to his room.

"I'm going out," Taylor said reaching for her sweater and wallet.

"Oh," Gabriella said watching her moved towards the door.

"Don't wait up,"

Gabriella watched as Taylor disappeared into the hall and left her standing in an empty room alone. "So much for the buddy system," she mumbled to herself as she pushed the door shut and locked it.


	2. Chapter 2

"The girl is fucking nuts." Taylor said extending her hand in air with frustration. "It would be just my luck to get a basket case for a roommate."

"Don't you think your being a little harsh?" Chad said as he took a scooped up a hand full of popcorn. "Maybe she's just shy?" he suggested , the Xbox controller rested in his lap as he leaned against the back of the bed and shoved the fist full of popcorn into his mouth.

"Or maybe she's just nuts." Sharpay said as she flipped another page of the magazine. "Did Troy say he was on his way or what?"

"He's coming." Taylor said dug into the popcorn bowl herself. She been dating Chad for almost a year he lived by himself in a dorm across from hers. He was studying graphic design and studio art. His goal was to one day create the perfect video game for the new world, whatever that was. When she called to tell him she was on her way she ran into Sharpay who was coming in from one of her classes. In her effort to complain about her roommate dilemma and have somewhat of a chance at getting Troy to reconsider the room arrangement she would need Sharpay's back up.

There was a knock at the door and Chad grunted the words 'come in' around a mouthful of popcorn.

"Ew," Taylor said nudging Chad, "Don't talk with your mouth full, I hate when you do that."

Troy came into the room and shut the door behind him. "I wasn't aware were getting together tonight?" Troy said holding his book bag over his shoulder.

"We weren't," Sharpay said getting up on her knees on the bed and opening her arms for a hug. Troy obliged with a hello kiss as well.

"Can I get a new roommate?" Taylor groaned as she glanced up at Troy.

Troy bumped fist with Chad and raised a brow. "It's only been a week?"

"And I hate her." Taylor said rolling her eyes as she looked back at the future solider game Chad was in the middle of. "Are you almost done?"

"Hey, you all came to my room remember?" Chad said holding out a hand and looking around at all of them. "And you bought company so it's not like it's a romantic visit either." Chad said narrowing his eyes at Taylor.

"Give me a break," Taylor rolled her eyes as she looked back at the screen.

Troy smiled as he looked over at Sharpay who had gone back to her magazine. "So what are we doing?"

"I vote we order a pizza." Sharpay said looking from the TV screen where Chad was shooting at some random solider in a field. Her Blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail, she was wearing a pink t-shirt with jeans her light green sock up in the air behind her as she laid on her stomach on the bed. Her eyes gave a sidelong glance to Troy who was getting settled. Next month they would make two years. Her eyes shifted back as she thought about the confining feeling building in her chest. Lately the pounding had gotten louder, almost as if her entire body was suffering from claustrophobia just by being inside her own clothes.

"Troy when I volunteer to host the new girl, I didn't mean I'd play babysitter to the deranged." Taylor said leaning back in her chair.

"She doesn't seem deranged to me?" Troy said as he put his bag down. "I mean she's cautious but she's from a small town."

"I thought she transferred from Stanford." Sharpay said eyeing Troy.

"She did but she's originally from a small town." Troy shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe she's just a little shy?" Troy looked back at Sharpay the uneasiness slipped in again as he caught her quickly looking the other way. Something wasn't the same, something was off, he started feeling it about three weeks ago and the feeling wasn't going away.

Chad let out a laugh as he tapped multiple buttons at once. "That's what I told her."

"Well, what is it exactly about that rings the loony bells?" Sharpay said.

"She takes pills all the time." Taylor said looking over at Chad, "She's awkward, she does this weird safety check before she goes to sleep before she leaves the room and she talks in her sleep."

"That sounds like more of a reason she needs a friend." Troy said looking at Sharpay back to Taylor.

"oh gag me," Sharpay said as she looked over at Troy. "I'm not making friendship bracelets and painting anyone's toe nails."

"Not even a pillow fight?" Chad said looking at Taylor with a smirk.

"Grow up," Taylor gave him a playful shove as they all broke out into giggles.

After four rounds of Future solider and a pizza between Troy and Chad, Troy was ready to call it a night. Looking up behind him he watched as Sharpay and Taylor sat in the bed looking over the same magazine, both talking about the new sally Hansen crackle nail polish. "You girls ready for that long walk across the parking lot?"

"I think I'll stay here for the night." Taylor said rolling her eyes and closing the magazine as Sharpay shift to get off the bed. "Take a night off from the strange and deranged."

Troy got to his feet and held out his hand to Sharpay. "Shall we then?"

"We shall," she said taking his hand and hopping to her feet from the bed.

The four said their good nights and Troy walked out into the empty halls with Sharpay close behind. His hand reached out and instead of taking it like she had a million times before she hesitated and let out a sigh, "This new chick seems kind of weird." She said reaching in her pocket for lip gloss.

Troy shoved his hands in his own pockets and did his best to wave off the awkward moment. "I think she's just a new girl at a new school trying to adjust and fit in like everyone else," he said attempting not to look in her direction.

"Yeah, but I mean, what about all those pills?" Sharpay said shoving her own hands in her pockets.

Troy stopped in the middle of the parking lot and turned to look at her dead on. "What's going on?"

Sharpay startled by his abrupt action froze in her place at stared at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Troy let out a sigh and looked away from her for a moment before coming back to meet her in the eyes. "Don't play dumb with me, what's going on between us?" Troy said shifting his weight to his left leg. "Your avoiding me, not answering my calls, you won't even hold my hand?"

Sharpay was quiet. He watched as she chewed off the fresh coat of lip gloss from her lips. The wind blew and he watched as a few of her blond strands came out of place. "Troy I've been meaning to talk about this for a while," she said looking down at her hands.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?" Troy said in a low voice as he watch Sharpay glance back up at him.

"It's hard to let go of something you never really had but, even harder when you know its everything you ever wanted." Sharpay said as a tear welled up in her right eye.

Troy watched the tear trickle over and roll down the side of her face, his hand reached up to caress her face, the soft pad of his thumb wiping the tear away from her cheek. "Don't say we are not right for each other" Troy said in a low voice.

Sharpay felt her lips begin to tremble at his touch. "I can't do this anymore."

"I don't know what you want me to do Sharpay?" Troy said letting his shoulders shag as the sadness began to seep into the moment.

"I don't think there's anything we can do Troy." Sharpay said with a small shrug. "We just… it just is." She said.

"Did you meet someone?" Troy asked a little curious, a little scared.

"What?" Sharpay jerked back as she tucked a strain of hair behind her ear. "I would never do that to you."

"You've been growing distant. I feel it, your pulling back from me." Troy said looking.

"Takes two to tango Troy," Sharpay said with snap. "I feel it two which is why I think we should just go back to being friends."

"That's not possible." Troy said holding up a hand.

"Whatever we had is gone Troy, that sizzle that excitement?" Sharpay said with frustration.

Troy rolled his eyes "But that's not all there is to a relationship?"

"But it's what I want." Sharpay said with a shrug. "And I'm not getting it from you, I don't feel the same way anymore Troy."

Troy looked at her a sadness seeping into his gut. It was over. "Fine." He said after a long pause.

"We can still be friends right?" Sharpay said turning away from him and walking towards the dorm.

"Yeah" he said in a low voice as he took a deep breath and looked into the dark parking lot. "Why not, gotta have something to show for the last two years of our life, right?"

"Right," she said in a low voice.

"Yeah." Troy repeated

"Goodnight Troy." she said making her way into the night and then disappearing into the dorm.

"Fuck." Troy said under his breath.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Troy woke up in his bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. The memories of last night flooding back to him as he stared at the ceiling. "Fuck my life." he said a loud; he winced after a moment and then adjusted his head better on the pillow. "Fuck." He said bringing his hands to cover his eyes.

The sound of something rustling caught his attention and he glance at the door to see some papers being shoved underneath it. "Now what?" he said flipping the blanket over he hopped out of bed and walked across the room bare footed. Grabbing his grey shirt from the last night he pulled it half way over his head then reached for the door pulling it open. He paused in surprise as he looked down to find Taylor's roommate staring up at him in terror. He felt his shirt slowly and gently fall the rest of the way down his torso. "Gabriella right?" he said with a nod.

She nodded and then as if she had realized she been staring a moment longer than she should have She looked away from him immediately and he arched his brow. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't," Gabriella said holding up the papers to him. "I just wanted to drop these off; you said I could leave them under the door."

"Right," Troy said reaching his hand down to grab the papers from her fingers. In that moment she stood up and Troy jerked back as she went from bent down to his height in a matter of seconds with little effort. He then was able to give her the full body inspection that she had given him, She was wearing an oversized sweater and baggy jeans her hair pulled back in a pony tail. It was as if she was deliberately trying to disappear.

"What?" She asked with a tone of annoyance.

"Nothing," Troy said quickly his glaze coming back to her brown eyes that met him dead on and for whatever reason he didn't look away from her. Blue met brown and both in the odd powerful way didn't break the connection.

"Here," she said handing him the papers.

"Thank you," he said keeping his eyes locked on hers. She didn't say another word just turned and left. Troy looked at his watch, a sudden alarm of fear ran through him he was late for class. Quickly he chucked the paper work to the side rushing into his jeans and gym shoes before taking off.

Later that day Gabriella walked into the student center with her books tucked under one arm and a slip of paper in her free hand. People linger everywhere some sorting through mail others gathered in a group as they conversed and ate their meals. If she had to describe it the student center was just that, the center of the college network. Her work study program had gone terribly awry and now instead of working in the library as she wanted she was now working in the student center in the game room. Looking around she searched for the game room. She spotted pool tables, hockey tables, ping pong tables and a few arcade games. Looking around further she noticed the café. Gabriella walked over to the girl staring up at one of the televisions as she wiped down the counter.

"Excuse me?"

The woman caught off guard jerked and raised a brow to stare at Gabriella. "What can I get ya?"

"I'm sorry; I'm actually looking for the game room center?" Gabriella said holding up her slip. "I'm supposed to report to a Mr. Ward for my first day?"

"Oh," The girl's eyes widened. "Sure sure," she said leaning in closer to Gabriella over the counter causing Gabriella to take a step back out of instinct. "Alright you're going to go down that ramp into the main food court area and down the stairs. That's where Mr. Ward's office is."

Gabriella nodded as she looked in the direction she was being pointed too. Gabriella looked back at the woman, "Thanks," Gabriella said grimly.

Gabriella got to the door in question and knocked. A grunt came from the other side and Gabriella stared at the door as the sounds of someone on the other side maundering his way to the door.

The door swung open and Gabriella came face to face with a man with red hair and one too many freckles. "Hello,"

"Hello, I'm here for the game room attendant position?" she said cautiously.

"Yes, yes , yes." He said waving a hand, he plucked the slip from her hand and folded it placing it in his breast pocket. "You'll be training with Kelsi for a while."

Gabriella nodded as she followed doing her best to keep up with the man's speed. The entire time she kept her eyes on him keeping her distance as the same time she stood behind him. Alert, aware, Never let anyone lead you anywhere you don't know as familiar. Gabriella reminded herself.

"You know I try to tell them that the shifts work better with three people but they refuse to believe me." Mr. Ward says with a laugh, "Things should be a lot easier now that you're here." They walked back past the students in the student center to a small nook by the ladies wash room. When they got to a big hole in the wall Mr. Ward tapped the bell on the service counter. "We have three shifts, I put up the rotation of schedules on the back wall in here so you can switch or see who works when. If you guys have any complications please let me know."

After a brief nod to ensure him that she was listening, Gabriella attention shifted as she watched a brown haired girl come up to the counter. "Hello Mr. Ward."

"Good afternoon Kelsi, can you please show our new employee the ropes. I still have some paper work to get to for the school pride week festivities." He said smiling from girl to girl.

Gabriella held her things tighter to her chest not returning the smile but cautiously examine the game room service station. It was hidden from the crowd at the front door. A single row of florescent lighting hung above the window allowing only a dim light to be casted. Not the idea situation.

"My name is Kelsi," the girl said holding out a hand as she leaned more over the counter for a handshake.

Gabriella shifted and took her hand, "Gabriella," she offered. The hand shake was brief but it was there, that feeling she hadn't quite managed to concur. The touch was hallow, cold and triggered a cold sweat to run down her body. Almost as if her body was rejecting human contact.

"Cool, come around to the side door, I'll let you in."

Gabriella didn't pulled her hand back and looked at the palm almost expect to see it violently shaking only to find a small tremble. A small sense of progress came over her and watched as Mr. ward nodded in approval, "I'll get you a badge as soon as possible till then your training between Kelsi and Troy."

"Troy?" Gabriella muttered as she watched Mr. Ward walk away. The big metal door opened from the right side of the service window. Gabriella attention shifted as her mind processed this new information.

"Yeah he works the nights mostly." Kelsi said with a shrug, her eyes went wide as she continued "Sharpay usually hangs out with him,"

Gabriella gave Kelsi a confused look as she came up to her and peered inside. She wasn't sure if she met anyone by the name of Sharpay yet.

"His girlfriend." Kelsi added biting her lip.

"Oh," Gabriella walked in as Kelsi held the metal door open. The smell of wet wood and new sneakers filled the air. "He's my RA." She said as she looked around at all the equipment. Information exchanging was just small talk, indication that you were human and needed human interaction. Gabriella sometimes forgot what it was like to build bonds anymore. She had gotten so use to just memorizing faces and names that getting to know actual people as people and not just a list of features to riddle out to a sketch artist later was hard to remember.

"Yeah Troy's the kind of guy who's on school activity over load." Kelsi said with a wide eyed glaze.

"Right," Gabriella said touching the rack of pool cues. She use to be like that once, involved in school events, surrounded by friends and boyfriends. Gabriella let out a sigh, part of her old life still echoed in the back of her mind reminding her of that blissful ignorance she could never get back.

"I'm a psychology major," Kelsi offered although Gabriella didn't ask. "What about you?"

"Pre-law." Gabriella said effortlessly.

"Cool," Kelsi said as she let go of the metal door. "So this is the office." She said waving her hand around at the big room with tons and tons of cluttered junk all over the place.

"It's lovely." Gabriella murmured, she missed the library already.

"Our jobs really simple, we take inventory, we rent out equipment in return they give us their student id." Kelsi said with a smile. "We take rounds every hour, just to ensure safety of the equipment, make sure people aren't having sex in the bathrooms." Kelsi giggled at the last part.

"What?" Gabriella turned back at her tucking a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. "Do people have sex often?"

"Its college, I think the only time people come up for air is to go to class." Kelsi smirked as she leaned on a desk by the front window.

"Oh yeah," Gabriella gave her best fake smile. "I meant around the student center."

"Sometimes," Kelsi said with a shrug, "I mean when I do come across it, I just kinda sneak out and hope to god they didn't notice me."

Gabriella tucked a strained behind her ear. "So this, I mean the night shift.. How late is it?"

"Starts at 9pm ends at 2am, On Saturdays 3am." Kelsi said with a smile. "I like the noon to 4pm shift, when I don't have afternoon classes, you know it gives me the rest of my night to work on my homework."

"Great," Gabriella said with a small nod. "I would be happy taking the mid shift then, most of my appointments are before 4 and most of my classes are morning or late classes. So I think I can make it work." Gabriella said looking around the room filled with clutter.

"Well that sounds perfect." Kelsi exclaimed with a shriek.

Gabriella winced as she watched Kelsi clap her hands together. Her brown curls bouncing as her smile reached ear to ear. Gabriella looked around at the clutter once more and then at the girl who began rambling and making grand gestures with her hands. Bringing a hand up she tried her best at a smile and a subtle rub to her right temple which already began to throb.


	4. Chapter 4

"In our last session you said you felt haunted." Her lips paused around the word as it came out. Today the doctor was wearing a green burlap dress with brown heals. "Exactly how would you describe this feeling?"

Gabriella let out a breath as she thought about it for a moment. "I just do, like I'm trapped in some kind of residual haunting." Gabriella said blankly staring off into the distance. "Whenever I'm walking down a hall way I can swear I hear steps behind me even though I know no one is there. When I'm alone in my room I sometimes feel like someone is standing right behind me." Gabriella looked up at the doctor who was righting some of this down. "I feel someone breathing on my neck." Gabriella let out a shaky breath. "Sometime I can still feel the actual penetration." she whispered in low voice.

The doctor stopped writing. "What goes on when these feeling occur?" she asked bringing her hand up to her chin and leaning forward in her seat."Are you aroused? Are going through your menstrual cycle?"

"No," Gabriella shook her head as she crossed her arms over her breast. "I mean the walls of my vagina actually feel like something is shoving its way through." She closed her eyes and "My body remembers it, just as much as my mind does."

"Involuntary spasm of the muscles around the vagina can usually be caused by anxiety, and can result in vaginismus." The doctor said sitting back in her chair. "It's not uncommon in Rape victims to show signs of it."

Gabriella bit her lip watching as the doctor tapped her legal pad. "This condition affects a woman's ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse, insertion of tampons and/or menstrual cups, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations." She said offering Gabriella a small smile. "A woman suffering from vaginismus does not consciously control the spasm. The vaginismic reflex can be compared to the response of the eye shutting when an object comes towards it." she said bringing the pen close to her eye to demonstrate. "Let's keep an eye on this and if it worse there is a cream I can prescribe." The doctor's pen moved furiously across the pad. "Are you sleeping well?"

Gabriella eyes focused on the pen against the paper. A another prescription. More drugs, as if the other five bottles of pill in her night stand wasn't enough. Nowadays there was a pill for everything. A quick fix to a problem, her mouth was dry. "Yes," Gabriella said after a moment. She was currently taking Ambien to sleep through the night.

"Good, good." She said shifting her weight in her chair and resting more on her left side. "How are you and your room mate getting along?" she asked with a polite nod.

"It's… challenging." Gabriella said squinting a bit. "I mean she obviously doesn't like me at all." Gabriella said spreading the hem of her sweater out and picking at the lint. "She's been avoiding me."

"Are you sure?" The Doctor looked at Gabriella with concern. "You might be the one pushing her away."

"I'm not denying it." Gabriella said with a small shrug. "I mean I know I came here because I wanted a change. I know that I wanted people to look at me differently." Gabriella let out a sigh, "It's harder than I thought." Her fingers paused as she now thumbed the hem of her sweater instead.

"That's expected." The doctor tilted her head. "You're going to have to step out of your comfort zone if you expect to see any change." There was more silence. "How is your Work Study?"

Gabriella nodded as she picked a stain in the carpet to focus on. "It's working out, I mean it's not the library." Gabriella said biting her nail. "It's a dark little spot in the student center. Florescent lighting, lots of noise…" Gabriella paused. "It's the scariest place I know."

"Why is it scary?" The doctor asked.

Gabriella bit her lip as she looked at the doctor then at the stain on the carpet. "Because no one would hear me scream,"

"You know, I notice that in the many of the seminars I attend in the business world, that fear, and its various manifestations, are at the root of important and difficult issues." The doctor leaned back in her chair. "The more we can understand and transform fear, the more we can accomplish with less wasted effort." She said with a nod. "I mean Gabriella I don't think you realize but fear can be a useful ally."

"I fail to see how." Gabriella said folding her hands together.

"It can focus us, keep us safe, even at times keep us alive. Fear of illness or injury can motivate us to stop smoking, to exercise, and to eat healthier food. In our communities, it can motivate us to make our air and water cleaner, our bridges and levees stronger, our workplaces safer." The doctor leaned forward with a eager grin. "We can use this?"

"I really don't see how my fear is an advantage, the entire reason I'm here two days a week is because fear has ruined my life." Gabriella said a little frustrated.

"Let break that word down." The doctor said pointing her pen at Gabriella. "F.E.A.R. fear, Fantasy Expectations Appearing Real."

"Fantasies are the last thing I think of when I think of fear." Gabriella said.

"While true, fear can also be an enormous hindrance." The doctor continued in a hasty tone. "Fear can color our world so that a stick can appear as a dangerous snake or an offer of friendship can be perceived as an imposition or even an attack."

"I'm sensing that you're about to make a point based on my lack thereof friendship/fear educed attackers." Gabriella said with forced grin.

"All I'm telling you is that we can fear not getting promoted or losing our jobs; fear what people think about us, or fear that people aren't thinking at all about us. We can fear the loss of a loved one, fear getting older, fear dying. The list of possible fears is almost endless, so it is not surprising that, sometimes without being aware of it, our actions and decisions can become ruled by fear." The doctor said holding up her pen as she ticked it back and forth.

"Which is why I'm here," Gabriella said in a monotone.

"Living with fear can become an accepted and habitual way of being, leading to thoughts and actions that create more fear in a difficult-to-stop chain reaction – in ourselves, in relationships, in businesses and organizations, and in the world." The doctor placed her pad off to the side and put her pen down as she folded her hands together in that way that adults do when they plead that they understand the world through your eyes.

"When we are afraid, our first impulse is to tighten our bodies and shut down our minds." She said with a sigh. "We become the opposite of receptive and playful, and this is an enormous hindrance to learning new skills in the workplace, to collaborating, and to making interpersonal connections."

Gabriella shook her head as she looked at the stain on the floor harder watching as the stain morphed into an image of some distorted dog.

"The impulse to tighten can become so deeply ingrained that we may not even be aware of the ways that we keep ourselves back, or of the subtle and not-so-subtle ways that we communicate our fears to others."

"Stop saying we when you mean me." Gabriella said jerking her eyes up to the doctor. The doctor let out a sigh as she narrowed her eyes towards Gabriella. It was the first indication that she was human, it was an emotion other than boredom and blank expression doctors used to convince you that they were listening instead of rattling off a grocery list or some other mundane reminder that they had set for themselves.

"Reducing fear and opening yourself to new possibilities – surprises, even – is the first step, I believe, toward a more lasting sense of accomplishment." She said pulling her hands apart. "Gabriella I believe that reducing fear can be the first action that frees you to achieve a goal even when, in losing your fear, your goal becomes something very different than anything you could have previously imagined."

"That's all peaches and rose petals but, how do you think one should go about doing it?" Gabriella said crossing her arms.

"Three things." She said holding up her three fingers. "Awareness of fear, Playing with time, and Practicing generosity." She listed ticking away at her fingers.

Gabriella eyebrows arched as she leaned back in her brown chair still refusing the red couch of doom offer.

"Step one, Awareness of fear, you can begin this just by noticing when you are afraid." She said with a swift hand movement. "Where does fear reside in your body; when do you move away from fear and when do you move toward fear? You might even try the practice of inviting your fears in."

Gabriella let out a huff, "So you're asking me to scare myself." She said rolling her eyes.

Choosing to ignore the rude generalization of what she said the doctor continued. "Playing with time and how you think about and relate to time: try noticing the difference between relative time and time that is not relative. Experiment with just doing what you are doing, without trying to get to the next thing. It's not as easy as it sounds Gabriella this is going to be the most challenging."

Gabriella nodded as she continued to listen.

"Practice generosity." She said holding up the last finger. "By helping others, being aware of other's needs and feelings. Notice how this reduces your fear and bring you into a comfortable state of mind."

"What if that other person's needs and feelings involve hurting me?" Gabriella said with cocked expression. "Should I hand them the knife and stand ready for impact?"

"No, by being aware of that person intent can save your life by reducing your fear and time of panic and turning it into action." She said point at Gabriella with a smile. "Life is made up of years that mean nothing and moments that mean it all. What you need are moments that can change those years and by do this you will be able to do that."

Gabriella leaned forward as she wrapped her brain around the concept. "So what you're saying that by allowing myself to learn how to not feed into the fear that I may be feeling, I could potentially be able to be brave and maybe even be able to dismiss those fears?"

"If you're willing to try," the doctor said with a smile.

Gabriella nodded. "Alright."


	5. Chapter 5

**Side bar time!**

So I don't know if anyone noticed, but Ask a Bitch as been taken down. I made a mistake; the word Bitch in the title was a violation of the rules so they did remove it. So in fear for Porn struck I changed the title to Love Struck. As for Chapter posting I've been trying to stick to Saturdays today I'm posting again because I'm actually really far into this story so why not?

As for me, I am doing fine these days. Hanging out with friends and enjoying the weather. I got a new car because the breaks went out on my 1992 Ford Explorer aka Big Red. I was able to avoid other cars and death! My new car is a 2001 Ford Taurus I call him Moon Doggie because he's maroon and reminds me of summer. So from my favorite late 50 suffer classic movie, Gidget, I named my car after the male lead character.

In case you're wondering the origins about this current story Reborn came from the movie Gone with Amanda Seyfried. Not that the plot of this story is the plot to that movie but the concept of the character after a tragic event is. I wanted to go inside the life of a victim way after the crime and drama, see what's it's like for someone trying to go back to "normal."

I want to thank everyone for the reviews my boyfriend is always asking me what the count of reviews are because he finds my story telling hobbies adorable. He urges me all the time to submit something for publication but I don't feel ready yet. So thanks for reading and keep the reviews coming! I love hearing input and it helps when I'm molding the story to hear what you guys think. I'm always typing 5 or 8 chapters ahead of you guys. I am very happy that everyone is enjoying this story, and now I will shut and let you get back to it.

**Story time!**

After about two week of working in the game room Gabriella had come to the conclusion that she (as she knew she would.) hated her job. Most night she sat at the desk doing her homework and occasionally conversing with a few students as they checked out equipment. She hadn't really been presented with a case of fear, other than just her routine habits of safety checks she went through about 50 times a day to prevent fear. Kelsi was nice; she didn't judge Gabriella with the same fleeting annoyance that her roommate had developed, her roommate who had decided that she was going to be staying with her boyfriend, rather than in her room. Forcing what little chances of friendship Gabriella had hoped for down the drain.

Against everything she wanted she lived alone, she went to classes alone, she walked to her appointments alone and participated in her kickboxing classes alone. These days the only time she wasn't alone was when her and Kelsi were trading shifts. Kelsi would stay a little longer to help her settle into her comfort before running off to leave her alone … again. They would talk about classes, Kelsi crush Ryan Evans or Kelsi friend Kimberly who dated a guy named Jason she met once while giving him equipment to play ping pong.

Gabriella raced across campus her feet tapping along the pavement in the evening heat. Once she got to the student center she let out a sigh of relief as she hurried through the main hall past the café and down to the lower section where the Game room was. Coming to the window she expected to see Kelsi and was very stunned to find Troy instead.

"Your late." He muttered staring up at her from his book. He blue eyes were angry and presented dark circle around the bottom of his eyes suggesting that he wasn't getting much sleep. He wore a short sleeve green shirt with Khaki shorts, his hair was ruffled and his facial hair was more unkempt than she could remember.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I lost track of time," something she rarely if ever had done these days. After her appointment she'd been instructed to go to a random park bench outside her comfort zone and work up the courage to ask some random man for the time. A task that was supposed to be helping her work on her anxiety, however this task took an hour and forty minutes, which she shook and mumbled through horribly.

"Right." Troy rolled his eyes.

"Where is Kelsi?" she asked still on the outside of the service window not daring to go in just yet. The wall between them provided a certain kind of comfort she didn't want to give up just yet. Not after the afternoon she had.

"Well she had a doctor's appointment so she called me to fill in for her." Troy said with a small hint of annoyance. "Which means that I will be coming back here in" he paused to look up at the clock. "3 hours to work the late shift."

"I didn't know." Gabriella said looking away from him afraid that he might continue to start to yell at her.

"No you didn't, because this number?" he held up a sheet with their schedules and cell phone numbers on it. "This number you wrote down is a disconnected number." Troy slapped the paper down on the desk and got up from his seat.

Gabriella flinched at the sound."I must have written the number wrong." Gabriella said knowing that she had; she'd given Kelsi her real number and of course Mr. Ward but on the sheet that hung in the game room office for all eyes to see. She'd written down an old number she knew was disconnected. More unresolved trust issues to work on at another time.

"Yeah, you must have." Troy lifted his bag and he looked at her with another level of annoyance. "Are you going to come in or what?"

The tone of his voice made her jerk again. "Yeah," she said looking away from him and at the floor. After a moment hesitation and an extreme pushing aside of her gut that told her to stay put she walked to the door and swiped her badge to let herself in.

"I'm leaving I have to get something to eat and then shower before I turn around and come right back here." He said as he shuffled his way towards her. "That's the thing about you women, I'm always bending over backwards, jumping through hoops and damn near killing myself but for what?" Troy tossed his hands up. "So you can say I'm not interesting enough and move on."

Gabriella took her time card from the small shelves and slipped it into the machine to punch the time onto her card for the day, then quickly moved out of the way so that Troy could punch out next. Awareness of fear, Gabriella closed her eyes her awareness was being in this back room with a guy she didn't know who seemed to have all the authority and a sense of frustration pointed at her was enough to cause fear. She opened her eyes to watch him look at his watch and then pluck his card form the case beside the machine."Troy?"

The sound of the machine punching the card rang though the air and he turned around slipping the card back into its spot in the case beside the machine on the wall. "What?" he said his book bag slung over his shoulder and the book he was reading in his hands.

Gabriella pulse skyrocketed, what the fuck was she suppose to do next? Gabriella stared at him her mouth agape as she tried to think of something to say. Trying to focus on a conversation at hand and not the end result of getting him to leave or at least not be mad at her. Time, she had to make use of her time. She closed her eyes again and grabbed for the idea of generosity. The last step, "You don't have to come in tonight, I'll stay until 2." She said with a stiff stance. Her eyes opened again to find him staring at her with an arched brow.

Troy took a step further and she instinctively took three back. The sudden movement brought them both to a standstill. Both of them stared at each other in examination as though the other one was an alien with three heads. "You alright?" Troy asked breaking the silence.

"I'm fine." Gabriella said tucking her loose strands from her ponytail back behind her ears and trying to look as though she was a normal teenage girl conversing with a normal teenage boy. If he even wasn't a teenager.

"Aren't you hot?" he asked looking at her sweatshirt and jeans.

"No," she lied. If anything living here had caused her to drop weight with the amount she sweated off daily.

"Where are you from? Arizona or something?" he asked shifting a hand through his hair.

"Albuquerque, New Mexico." She said taking a deep breath; her eyes looked out into the game room of student center, not very active for 5 o'clock on a Thursday evening.

"So I know that Taylor isn't really staying in the room anymore." He said with a grim smile.

Fear in overwhelming waves rushed through her, he knew she was alone. It was as if he threatened her world as it existed with a nuclear weapon. "What do you mean?" she said quickly as she began to fidget with the sweater.

"I mean she's been sleeping in Chad's room for the last two weeks," Troy said crossing his arms now. "I know it must be hard to be in a new school so far from home and not seem to have anyone to talk too-"

"I talk to lots of people." Gabriella protested. The doctor and Kelsi, they were people. Troy was quiet for another moment as he examined her, she could feel her inside shaking her breathing becoming quicker and she could sense that he was noticing all these changes as well. She could feel that voice inside her head that was screaming at her to do or say something, anything. "How's your girlfriend?" He flinched. Gabriella reacted to his flinch by taking another step back.

"We broke up." Troy said now shifting his weight to his right side of his body.

"Oh," Gabriella nodded slowly as she dared to bring her eyes back up to his. On contact a rushing sense of stillness came over and her breathing slowed. His blue eyes moved in tiny shifts as if trying to take her all in at once. "I'm sorry," she said in a low voice.

"It's alright." Troy said his eyes now resting on hers. "Better to have loved and lost than not to have known love at all, right?" he said with a small chuckle.

The sound of his laugh caught her off guard and she forced her lips to pull up.

"You don't have to stay till 2." Troy said with a soft voice, "And I'm sorry if I pointed any of my suppressed anger at you." He said now looking down at his hands as he thumbed through the pages of his book. "Just not all that friendly these days, but I'm working on it."

"Then I'll stay later," Gabriella said smoothing her hands out on her pants.

"What if I just come back at 10?" Troy said with a soft smile.

"Fine," Gabriella agreed nodding slightly.

"Alright it's settled, I'll see you again at 10." Troy held out a hand towards her.

Gabriella stared at it with caution.

"I forget," Troy said pulling his hand back. "You're not the touchy kind." He said bringing his hand back towards him and shrugging his shoulder. "Right then, I'll see you later."

"Later," Gabriella heard herself say. She watched as he left the room the metal door closing behind him and then as he passed by the service window disappearing into the barrage of students coming down the stairs. A breath she hadn't been aware she was holding left her lungs and she felt her entire body slumped in response. It was over.

Troy turned around when he got to the top of the stair case his eyes watching as she finally set her bag to the side and then pulled the sweatshirt over her head, his breath catching as a little sliver of bronzed skin appeared under her gray shirt.

"YO!" Chad voice caught his attention and he turned in time to catch the basket ball sailing through the air. "Got a little free time, want to shoot some hoops?"

"Can't man," Troy tossed him back the ball as they fell into step next to each other. "I got to get something to eat then shower." Troy said lifting his arm to unleash a musk smell. "Going on day two and let me say I don't think day three is going to be any prettier."

Chad fanned the air in front of him. "That's just nasty dog."

"So how's life with your new roommate?"

"Can't complain." Chad said spinning the basketball on his finger. "I mean the reason I got a single was because we wanted the freedom of privacy so it all works out."

"So Gabriella's on her own, huh?"

Chad shrugged his shoulders, "Hey the way I see it, everyone got lucky. Gabriella got a single without evening putting in the paperwork. Most people would kill for that man."

Troy glanced back at the Game room Center below, "Somehow I don't think that's how she feels about it."

"So what do you want me to do, kick my girlfriend out?" Chad said catching the ball in his other hand as they came up to the cafeteria door way.

"No, let me see what I can do first." Troy said reaching in his back pocket for his wallet with his free hand.

"What are you gonna do?" Chad said with a raised brow taking out his wallet as well to retrieve is Id. Both boys were quite as the lady by the door scanned their Ids.

"I don't know yet." he said with a frown as he put his wallet away.


	6. Chapter 6

Gabriella let out a sigh as she bent down with the dust pan to sweep up the remained of spilt French fries by the pool tables. Coming back up she made her way through people to the trash cans. For a Thursday night the crowd had picked up. People demanding certain music from the speakers which she had to figure out how the sound system worked because she'd never had to before. No one had taught her and she managed to somehow get music through the speakers. Her pony tail was sagging and sweat covered her brow as she returned to the service window where a line had formed. Everything was a mess, she still had three more area's to clean, do her round for the building, mange to somehow get all the equipment back, figure out what equipment was out, and sort through everything that had already been returned. On the other side she raised the gate and took down the back in five minutes sign as she attended to the first costumer.

"Can I get three pools cues and a rack?" the boy said as he held his ID card up.

"Sure thing," Gabriella turned around to retrieve the items bring them back to the window and handing them over, ensuring that the boy signed the sign out sheet and that he place the ID in the box of IDs. The sound of the metal doors shutting caught her attention and she jerked her head up to see the metal doors resting shut. Panic filled her.

"Miss can you play something a little pop-ish?"

Gabriella glaze turned back to the girl in the Yellow dress then back at the door, something didn't feel right.

"You know we don't play students request Amber." a man's voice said from behind her and Gabriella spun around to come face to face with Troy.

"Troy," the reaction was a raspy squeak rather than demanding tone.

"Montez," he said with a smirk. "Bought you something to eat." he said holding up a McDonalds bag. "Took a guess and pictured you more as a crispy Chicken kind." He said handing her the food.

Gabriella took the bag and then looked back at the next costumer in line then at the clock. it was 8:30pm.

"I thought we agreed on ten?" she said still frozen by how close he was.

With one arm Troy reached behind her for the gate pulling it down and bringing a muted muffle to the roar of people outside. "New deal."

Gabriella pushed herself past him and was now walking towards the metal doors with her eyes on him.

"You stay and help me with the crowds in return I'll walk you back to your dorm, and not charge you for that meal." he said with a wink.

Gabriella was quite for a moment. He brought her food? he wanted to walk her home? "What else?" she asked cautiously.

"What else, what?" Troy said placing his back pack on the table.

"What else do you want from me?" Gabriella said accusingly. "You brought me food and you want to walk me back to the dorm?" she said in disbelief. "What else?"

Troy raised a brow as he walked over to the sound system to turn off the music. "One, I brought you food because you look hungry." Troy said ignoring all the moans and boos coming from outside when the music switched back to the college station. "Two, if you haven't noticed there are a lot of people here and a lot to do so sue me if I'm not afraid to admit I need a little help." Troy said closing the door to the sound system and turning to face her. "And Three we live in the same place, so unless you want me to give you a ten minute head start, we're gonna be walking the same way home at the same time anyway. Might as well do it together."

"Oh," Gabriella stilled.

"Pretty full of yourself there aren't you Montez?" he said as he walked back to the gate window.

Gabriella mouth fell open slightly and she watched as he braced to pull the window back up. "I don't think-"

"You in or out?" he said with an exasperated sigh as he lift the gate a little.

Gabriella looked at the bag of food then at Troy. "I'll stay but I'm not going to eat this,"

"Why?" Troy said shrugging his shoulders.

Because you never take food from a stranger unless you prepare it, watch it get prepared yourself, or at least break the seal yourself. Gabriella rolled her eyes. "You want me to stay or not?"

Troy let out a sigh. "Fine." he said bringing up the gate.

Gabriella watched as he began making order of the chaos outside the window. Her own mind still spinning as she looked around the back room, "I'll handle cleaning on the floor."

Troy paused as he looked up from an ID he was currently looking at. "You sure?"

And face the fact of being locked back here with a man she knew nothing about. "Positive." She took the broom and dust pan leaving the room before he had a chance to protest.

"Alright," Troy said as she disappeared into the crowd. "Strange girl that one." He said to guy taking the ping pong paddles from him.

"I never try to understand woman." The guy said.

Troy smirked as the guy walked off, "Have a nice game."

"Will do thanks Troy!" The guy called over his shoulder.

It wasn't until half past midnight that the crowd dissipated and Troy was on the floor hefting the over flooring trash bags from the trash cans over his shoulder. He was making a pile by the back door where Gabriella stood taking the bags the rest of the way to the dumpster. She insisted, not that he had a chance in convincing her otherwise. Troy let out a sigh as he picked up a can from the tile floor, his eyes glanced back towards Gabriella and his body froze. His eyes watched as she used the bottom of her shirt to wipe her brow and he was granted a better view of her toned stomach. His eyebrow arched in curiosity; despite all appearances she was packing some serious muscle definition. Lifting the last bag out of the trash can he tossed the can in and made his way to the back door.

Gabriella looked down at her hands to see the grime of dirt and sticky residue. Flipping her hands over Gabriella looked at her nails and frowned. It was like looking at the evidence of her attacker all over again. She was instantly transported to that night in the hospital, where they took her after she was found. All she could remember was waiting for the moment she could go home. Waiting for that moment she could scrub her body, the white anger returning to her, the burn of frustration and shame searing her skin in patches of dirt that seemed to be tattooed on the surface and dead skin caked under her finger nails. She was evidence, a body of things to be picked and probed at, pictured and asked about, recorder and quoted. Suddenly someone took her hold of her arm and she jerked back hitting her head against the glass door behind her as she shook herself from the past and roaring into the present.

"Shit," Troy instantly let go pulling his hands up and holding them up where she could see them. "Sorry I didn't mean to freak you out." Troy said peering at her with shock.

"Don't touch me," Gabriella said sharply bringing her hand up to touch the back of her head. "God." She muttered as she checked her hand for blood.

"You alright?" Troy looked at her fingers as well anxious to make sure she was alright.

"I'm fine." she said letting out a breath that was shaky at best. She'd never be fine, she'd never be alright, and that feeling of peace was taken a long time ago. Moving past him she made her way into the rest room leaving him to deal with the last three trash bags to deal with. At a last glance she watched as Troy shook his head as he bent down to pick up the trash bags two at a time and tossing them into the dumpster.

Gabriella came out of the washroom her hands red and raw from the scrub she'd given them she noted that Troy was leaning against the counter staring out into the empty game room. He'd put the chairs up and finished sweeping. Gabriella bit her lip as she came to stand across from him crossing her arms to hide her nerves and red hands.

"What's your deal?" Troy said looking past her out the window.

"I don't have one."

Troy's eyes shifted to her and she had to clamp down hard on her entire body not to jerk. "There are two types of people in the world: those who prefer to be sad among others, and those who prefer to be sad alone." Troy eyes watched her closely and Gabriella felt the need to look away from his blue eyes. "I'm going to guess you're the second type."

Gabriella shook her head, his eyes seemed to have a certain comfort behind them and she refused to take part in it. Mostly because being comfortable meant she might lower her guard, and she could not let that happen. "I don't have anything to be sad about."

Troy pushed himself away from the service counter behind him and shoved his hands in pockets directing his eyes at her and almost forcing her to look up at him. "Then what are you so afraid of?"

The question took her breath away from her and she found herself struggling to get it back. "I wouldn't know where to start."

Troy nodded seeming to be satisfied with that answer. He didn't ask another question did look at her with a silent inquiry for her to continue. He simply shrugged and then turned to pick up their bags from the counter and offer her things to her. Gabriella took her things and watched as he pulled the gate down locking it with his key.

"You're not going to ask me why?" Gabriella asked in disbelief as she held her sweater against herself.

Troy shrugged as he slung his back pack over his shoulder. "You'll talk eventually," he said looking back at her with a small smile. "For now let's just work on getting comfortable."

At first the words lingered between them and Gabriella wasn't sure if she believed him or just wanted to. "How do you suppose we do that?" she asked before pulling her sweater on and then slinging her back pack over her shoulder.

"I'm working on it." Troy said with a smirk as he began walking. "Come on Montez, I have a paper on universal health care to write."

Gabriella began walking besides him as they left the building keeping her distance as well as staying close. He didn't say anything else, either did she.


	7. Chapter 7

Sharpay sat in the commons as she read the assigned reading from her English class. She was lying on the couch when she saw Taylor walking by. "Hey," she said springing up from the couch. "Long time no see," she said.

"Yeah," Taylor frowned. "I've been sleeping over at Chad's these last few weeks." She held up her bag. "Making a clothes run." She shrugged as she looked down at the book Sharpay was reading.

"Dante's Inferno," She said with groan. "Ferguson is twisted man who has nothing better to do but assign mass amounts of reading that makes your brain feel incapable of comprehension."

"I feel your pain," Taylor said with a frown. "I'm reading Theories of Mass Communications for my public relations class."

Sharpay got up from the couch. "In every attempt to put this off, I go with you." Sharpay said with a giggle as they made their way down the hall.

Taylor stuck her key in the door and paused to look over her shoulder. "Prepare for awkward."

"So prepared," Sharpay said swiping some hair from her brow. Both girls giggled as they made their way into the room. Silence fell over everyone as they noted Gabriella sitting on the edge of her bed with Kelsi sitting on the floor both of them looking up at Sharpay and Taylor.

"Sharpay?" Kelsi spoke first and Gabriella let out a sigh of relief.

"Kelsi," Sharpay nodded with a smile. "How are you handling Ferguson's reading?"

"Spark notes." she said with a giggle.

"Urg," Sharpay shoulders fell as she walked over to Taylor's bed and fell back on it. "Good at least I don't feel bad about giving up."

"That bad?" Gabriella asked looking at the cover of the book Sharpay flung to the floor.

"It's terrorism." Sharpay huffed.

"Never mind her, she's a politics major." Taylor said walking over to her closet and opening the door.

Kelsi let out a sigh, "Sorry to hear about Troy by the way." Kelsi said with shrug.

"What happened with you and Troy?" Taylor said putting her overnight bag down by the dresser and placing a hand on her hip.

"Disaster," Sharpay sat up and brought her knees up to her chest. "I mean, I love him and I think the world of him."

"But," Kelsi supplied when Sharpay didn't continue.

"I don't know," Sharpay said with a shrug. "It felt like something was missing. Like I wasn't getting the whole package?" she said with a frown.

"Maybe he isn't the one." Taylor said with frown. "Make you glad you didn't get that tattoo," She said with a wink.

"Tattoo?" Kelsi sat up a little more placing her books to the side.

"One night in a drunken state of stupid," Sharpay began.

Taylor let out a laugh as she picked up. "She wanted to put Troy's name on her ass."

"Wow," Gabriella said in a low voice. "That's pretty intense." Gabriella sat quietly on the bed with her notebook in her lap as she listened to Sharpay go into details about the tattoo.

"It was going to be tasteful." Sharpay defended.

"It was going to be on your ass." Taylor said as she threw a pair of jeans into her overnight bag.

"So is there a chance you both will get back together?" Kelsi asked.

"Well, No, I mean, I don't know," Sharpay shook her head. "I guess he's like an old sweater after a bad day."

Kelsi let out a sigh, "I wish Ryan would notice I existed."

Sharpay let out a small huff as she rolled her eyes. "Trust me he knows you exist. He's a guy." Sharpay said as she lay back in the bed. The room was quiet for a while before she propped herself back up on her elbow. "What about you Gabriella?" she asked, "Boys giving you the run around too?"

At the shock of being acknowledge Gabriella looked up with her mouth hung open.

"You do like boys don't you?" Sharpay asked with concern.

"Yes," Gabriella said in a hurry, "I've just ... I'm on a break." Gabriella said looking back at her hands and as she picked on her notebook.

"Last guy was a real loser, huh?" Sharpay let out a sigh, "Well you and me both. We're in serious need of a little me time."

Taylor plucked out a red thong from her dress and twirled it around her finger. "Speak for yourselves I happen to adore my boyfriend." Taylor said with a laugh.

"Fine Gabriella and I are now best friends." Sharpay said turning her face up and earning a giggle from the others.

Gabriella ventured out into the hallway escaping the giggles from inside her room. Silence fell all around her and she crossed her arms in an effort to hide her body. Her doctor had called it Rape trauma syndrome. There were two main types of self blame: behavioral self blame which was undeserved blame based on actions and characterological self blame a undeserved blame based on character. Gabriella looked up and down the hall on her way towards the rest room, her pony tail swaying with each movement. Victims who experience behavioral self blame feel that they should have done something differently, and therefore feel at fault. Victims who experience characterological self blame feel there is something inherently wrong with them which has caused them to deserve to be assaulted. Gabriella let out a sigh, of the two she'd been declared the former. In most ways she did blame herself for what had happened. She wasn't quick enough, wasn't prepared, dressed to revealing and to wrapped up in her social life to see the danger.

When she got to the bathroom it was empty, she did a sweep making sure no one else was present before she walked into the stall in the middle. In addition to the self blame there was the shame that went with it. Shame was also connected to psychological problems, such as, eating disorders, substance abuse, anxiety, depression, and other mental disorders as well as problematic moral behavior. Her father was the one who put her in therapy after her first suicide attempt.

Washing her hands in the sink she looked at the faint scars on her wrist, vivid reminders of that time in her life. Looking back up into the mirror she was jerked from her thoughts by the reflection of man behind her. His features were blurred and his face was covered with a mask. Just as she went to scream he was gone. Turning around she was presented with the empty bathroom. No one was there. Her heart was beating rapidly and her breath echoed against the bathroom walls.

Looking down at her stomach she lifted her shirt to see the scars on her abdomen. They too were faint reminders now of attack from so long ago. The jagged edges from where he ripped at her clothing. A knot formed in her throat and she cover her mouth to mute any sob that dare to come from her lips. Suddenly the overwhelming nausea hit her and she raced back into the stall bent over she winced in pain as she vomited.

Troy walked into the dorm with his cell phone pressed to his ear. "I don't know she just said she couldn't do it anymore," he said with shrug as he walked down the hall he listened to his mother on the other line doing her best to give him words of wisdom. "I know mom, it just sucks we would have been two full years next week. It just feels like I wasted a lot of time." He passed Gabriella's door and felt the urge to knock. Pausing he let out a sigh, "Hey mom I have to go, my RA duties are calling." He said into the phone. "Love you to mom." He hung up the phone and was about to knock when the sounds of violent coughing caught his attention.

His eyes shifted down the hall and he instinctively began walking towards the sound. The close he got the more he could hear sobs mixed in with the cough and sounds of someone throwing up. He came to a stop in front of the girl's bathroom and pushed the door open just a little. "You alright?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm fine," a voice said. "Go away."

He recognized the voice as Gabriella's. "You're not fine." he said walking into the bathroom and letting the door close behind him. He came up to the middle stall where she sat huddled on the floor using a towel to wipe some of the tears and snot away. "Jesus," Troy said taking in her pale features and trembling hands. "What's wrong?" He said shrugging off his bag and putting it down on the side of the stall so he could come closer.

"Please don't touch me." Gabriella said quickly her body tense up at the sight of his extended hand and he froze.

"Alright, I'm not going to touch you." He assured her. "Tell me what I can do."

There was silence for a long time as he watched her almost battle out the urge to speak or turn away from him. "Can I have some water?" she said in low voice finally.

"Yes," he said reaching back into his bag and taking out a water bottle. "Here it's still sealed I just got back from the student center." He held it out to her and then thought better of it placing it on the floor between them. "Would you like me to open it?"

"Yeah," she said throwing the tissue she'd been using into the toilet.

Troy twisted the cap off and then placed it back in between them. He watched as she took the bottle and brought it up to her lips. After two long swigs she put the bottle down and used the back of her hand to wipe away more tears. Troy reached up to get more paper towels offering them to her the same way he did water bottle. As she took them he took a moment to really look at her. It was the first time he saw her with super baggy clothes on. She was wearing a white t-shirt and pair of red running shorts, her hair pulled back into a pony tail.

Someone had done a number on her, someone hurt her and the thought of it made him feel sick. Whoever it was had been a man, a man who probably used his strength to beat her up and cut her down. The idea that someone would take advantage of a her, who even lay a hand on her. He felt himself get tense. If he could give that guy a little bit of his own medicine he would, and he'd make it hurt.

"Thank you," she said adjusting herself a little.

Troy relaxed a little trying to bring the tension in the air down to a comfortable lull. "Do you need anything else?" Troy asked watching as she coughed a little.

"I'm alright." She said tilting her head so that she could see him full on.

Troy was quite they both were as they watched each other. Then as the moments ticked by he watched the color return to her face and her breathing slow down. "Are you sick?" he asked in a low voice.

"No,"

"Pregnant?" he asked.

"No,"

Troy nodded. "Did you eat something?"

"Yeah," Gabriella nodded with a forced smile pulling at her lips. It was well practiced and it almost seemed real but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Alright," Troy nodded as he let out a sigh and then brought his hand up through his hair. "You're going to be okay?"

"I feel better already." She said making a move to get up.

Troy got to his feet as well picking up his back pack and keeping his eyes on her. "Are you going to be alright on your own?"

"Yes," she said with a frustrated tone. "Thank you for the water and your concern, but I'm fine." she said going to move past him when he didn't move she stopped and they stood there face to face her breathing becoming quicker. "Let me through." she said in a demanding tone.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Troy said with soft voice. "I don't know who did, and for whatever reason you don't want to tell me. I understand, I can live with that for now, but one day we're going to have to talk about what just happened." Troy said pointing to where she'd just been.

"I already told you it was something I ate." She said looking at with a clenched jaw her eyes darting around in the stall her breathing being coming a little more rapid. She didn't like small spaces. She didn't like being trapped at this realization Troy held up both his hands and moved to the side letting her walk past him. He watched as she left the bathroom and disappeared into the hallway leaving him in the girl's bathroom alone.


	8. Chapter 8

Gabriella held her highlighter between her teeth as she typed in the password, the screen went from Blue to bright purple as the school logo became predominately displayed on her desktop. Removing the highlighter she looked down at the reading material in her lap. Today per the request of her doctor she was to spend one full day outside of her bedroom. An exercise she thought was ridiculous but the more and more she thought about it, made a lot sense. Aside from the visit from girls two weeks ago she hadn't had any other social interaction with anyone else. If she really did come here to change she was going to have to make some effort. She looked back up at the screen and watch her windows load. In minutes she was online looking up the Catcher and The Rye. Opening her notebook she jotted some points down and for whatever reason her eyes looked up quickly to catch the notification on the bottom right of her screen. Putting the Highlighter and pen down she click on her e-mail box.

_Message from: tbolton _

_One more day and I was convinced I'd have to drag you out of that room myself. _

Gabriella eyes reread what she saw on the screen. With arched brows she glanced at the random faces around the area, everyone was busy with work or friends. Someone was watching her, looking back at her screen she watched the notification come up again.

_Message from: tbolton _

_Paranoid much? Look up._

Gabriella did as she was told and looked up to spot Troy leaning over the railing from the 2nd floor. Gabriella felt relief spread through her and then she rolled her eyes. There was an annoyance about Troy she couldn't put her finger on. Ever since that night in the washroom he was always watching her, nodding when they past each other in the dorm and he was everywhere she was, a coincidence she didn't think was all that random. She couldn't figure out his agenda if he had one at all. Turning back to her computer she clicked the reply button.

_Message from: gmontez _

_Why do you care?_

She hit the send button and looked back up to meet his blue eyes before they shifted back to his phone. Troy was the first actual interaction with the male species in a long time. Most boys didn't even notice her, and she didn't want to be notice. She didn't make the effort to be worth looking at and she surely did not have a welcoming composure when it came to introductions or in class discussions. After a moment he looked back at her and smile. She turned back to screen and opened the e-mail.

_Message from: tbolton _

_Because those big, brown eyes of yours are begging me to. _

Troy smiled as she turned back to her screen. Taking off he took the steps to main floor two at a time. Once he was on the main floor he made his way over to the computers where Gabriella had been sitting. She was looking up with confusion riddled all over her face. He looked down at his phone just in time for the screen to light up.

_Message from: gmontez _

_My eyes are doing nothing of the sort._

Troy smirked as he walked over casually feeling that shift in the air when she realized he was behind her. She tensed up a bit and turn to face him. Her brown eyes looked up at him and her mouth hung open a little bit.

"Well I'm here anyway," Troy said as he pulled out a chair from the desk nearby and took a seat moving a little closer to her only to pause when she jerked back in her chair. She wasn't comfortable with him no matter how friendly or less intimating her attempted to be. She'd flinch if they accidently touched and she'd back away whenever he came to close. "There's going to be a party tonight. I think you should come."

"No," Gabriella said moving her book from her lap to the table in one smooth movement.

"No?" Troy repeated.

"No," Gabriella confirmed as she opened a word document on the desktop.

"Why?" he countered not ready to give up.

"Because, I'm not interested in dating," She said rolling her eyes in annoyance.

Troy paused as he stared at her with an arched eye brow. "I didn't ask you out on date?"

Gabriella looked at him with her void of expression he'd grown familiar with looking into his blue eyes. "You just asked me if I wanted to go to a party."

Troy nodded in understanding. "And not once did I use the terms: with me or as my date?" he said with a smirk. "Unless you wanted to-"

"I don't" she said cutting him off. Her checks were growing more and more crimson by the minute.

"Fine by me, I just got out of a two year relationship the last thing I need is another one." Troy leaned back in his chair. "Kelsi's going to the party."

"If you're not asking me on a date, then why is my attendance so important to you?" Gabriella said in a hushed tone.

"Because as your RA, I'm concerned," he said folding his hands together. "You're alone in your room all the time; I'm worried that you're not making any friends."

"I have plenty of friends." she said raising her chin. "In fact just the other night we were all huddled around discussing your 2 year relationship and laughing about it."

Troy brought a hand to his chest. "Ouch," he said with a playful frown. Getting up from his seat he pushed the chair in and let out a sigh. "Alright fine, don't come to the party." he said with a shrug. "All you had to say was no."

Gabriella eyes narrowed as she glared at him, her eyes looked back at her computer screen.

"By the way," Troy said leaning down into her personal space so that his chin was over her shoulder and his lips close to her ear. "If I were to ask you out on a date, not saying that I am or will, there would be no question about my intentions."

Gabriella shivered as she whispers radiated down her spine. When she turned around he was already walking towards the exit.

Sharpay and Taylor sat in the room staring into the closet when Gabriella entered the room. She'd given up on studying in the library her mind was too distracted to focus. When she went to work she bombarded by all the preparations for tonight party. She been instructed to clean up well and leave the keys to the sound system on the desk for the DJ.

"Hey," Sharpay said looking up at her. "You are going to the party tonight, right?" Sharpay asked.

"No," Gabriella said for what had to have been the 48th time today.

"Why not it's going to be the best, everyone is going and there's going to be tons of cute boys." Taylor said with a smirk.

"I told you, I'm on a break." Gabriella said throwing her back pack on the bed. "Plus I really don't have anything to wear to a party."

"That's why you have us." Sharpay got up from the bed and picked up some dresses she had slung over Taylor's desk chair. "We're about the same size, and I've already picked this sliver one." Sharpay said putting to the side and then pulling out a black dress. "This will look good,"

"Yeah take your hair down and shake it out and I say we're ready to boogie." Taylor said walking into her closet. "I made up my mind I'm going in green, the color of money." She said with a shake of her hips.

Gabriella looked at the dress and then at both girls who looked eagerly back at her.

"Come on, Taylor going to be with her boyfriend all night and I'm in need of a date." Sharpay said with a pout.

Gabriella let out a sigh, "I don't do parties."

"Who doesn't do parties?" Sharpay said with a laugh, "Come on, it'll be fun."

Against all her better judgment and constant inner debate she was currently sitting at the student center. Unfortunately once Sharpay's mind was made up there was no going back, or taking no for answer. In comprise she was wearing her own clothes which was a pair of jeans and plain comfortable brow t-shirt. She'd have to thank Taylor for that later.

Looking around she examined her fellow peers in a state of un-adultred supervision. It was sickening. Her eyes traveled over to the Game room service counter where Troy who was on duty, sat idly messing with his phone. Her eyes moved again and she was watching Sharpay dancing with an econ major who had greeted them at the door. So much for needing a buddy. Letting out a sigh she looked through the crowd again to find Taylor and Chad dancing as well. Her fingers fumbled for the discarded napkin pulling it close to her as she began to rip it to shreds. It's not that she couldn't handle being in a crowd, crowds were safe. You could scream and yell and attack a lot of attention to yourself. It wasn't even about there being an array of drunken stupor on the faces of every other guy who crossed her vision. She had somehow become invisible. The problem was she didn't really know anyone or anyone who would converse with her when so many other things were going on.

"You know, you might want to look like you're at least enjoying the music." Troy yelled over the music as he took a seat next to her.

Gabriella looked up at him a little surprise. "Hey," she said leaning into be heard over the music. "I thought you were working?"

"I thought you weren't coming?" Troy shot back with a smirk.

Gabriella rolled her eyes "Well, whatever it is you came over here for, I'm not interested." She said looking back out into the crowd.

"I came over here because you looked lonely." Troy said leaning back in his chair. "That and you got a gigantic Fuck off on your fore head, thought I'd come over and let you know." Troy said tapping his hand on the table.

Gabriella ignored his comment giving her full attention to the shards of napkin she was now twisting between her finger tips as if she had a purpose.

"There is more to life than watching other people live it, you know." Troy offered leaning in closer so he could be heard.

Gabriella arched her eye brow as she looked at him with amusement. "How do you know that's not my passion?" She said turning her attention back to the shreds of napkin.

"You're not a people person." Troy responded.

"Really," Gabriella placed her hands flat on the table "And I assume you know what kind of person I am?"

"You're a cynic."

Gabriella let out a huff. "I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist."

"Or?" Troy said holding up a finger. "Are you a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist?" Troy countered with a wink. Gabriella smiled as she looked back down at her twisted pieces of napkin. "Well I'll be damned, you have a very sexy smile." he said in low voice.

She could feel the blush against her cheeks as she avoided his eyes. She almost forgot what it was like to feel like this. To feel like a normal girl just having a conversation with a normal guy, "Thanks,"

"For?" Troy asked picking at one of the twisted napkins himself.

"For coming over." Gabriella said with a shrug. "For being nice to me." she added.

"A pleasure," he said with a small nod. "Well I got to get back to the service counter, do me a favor and don't dance with any jerks will ya?" he said getting up from his seat.

On his way back to the service counter Sharpay appeared out nowhere falling into Troy's now empty seat. "What did he want?" Sharpay asked with a huff as she leaned back in her chair and fan herself. "Was he pumping you for information on me?"

Gabriella hesitated before opening her mouth to speak only to be cut off.

"God he is so pathetic, in cute way though?" Sharpay said biting her lips as a small glaze came over her eyes. "You think I should talk to him?" She asked looking at Gabriella with sincerity.

"I think-"

"I'm gonna do It." she said cutting Gabriella off and shooting up from her chair and making her way across the room to the game room service counter as Troy brought up the gate.

"Right," Gabriella let out a sigh as she looked back out into the crowd. Without thinking her eyes drifted back over to Troy who was now leaning forward a little to hear whatever Sharpay was saying. His lips parted and she could tell he was chuckling at something she said. Suddenly his blue eyes darted up and bet her brown eyes straight on. Goosebumps spread all over her body and she for a moment her breath hitched before she quickly pulled her eyes away.

Closing her eyes she counted to ten before opening them again taking another breath she snuck a glance back over towards the service counter and without question his blue eyes were still directed at her. Her eyes held his as she he said something to Sharpay only glancing away momentarily to smile politely at something Sharpay had said. Gabriella looked around at everyone else who was off in their own worlds talking and bopping to the music her eyes traveled back into his direction and he was coming out of the service center taking hold of Sharpay's hand.

A slower song came over the speakers and her breath quickened as she watched him pull her out onto the dance floor. Their hands intertwined, her smaller hands almost disappearing into his larger ones. Gabriella couldn't bring herself to turn away as she watched his hands lightly wrapped around her waist and their bodies became close, his forearm resting on her backside securing her to him. Gabriella felt the slight nip of her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she watched their faces came close but not touch he was telling her something, a whisper only she could hear. Sharpay's head rested on his shoulder and they gently swayed to the music. She watched with a longing she hadn't even realized she had. In one small movement his blue eyes were back on her, as if he could feel her watching him. A cold burning sweat spread all over her body as his lips pulled into a smile. Nervously she looked away from them turning her attention on anything else she could. Trying to deny the urge calling to her to look, after a few chorus she couldn't take it, she looked back and like a flash of lighting his blue eyes shifted like a pulling command as strong as her own and he was peering into her brown eyes. Turning away she moved to get up from the table making her way through the crowd and out through the side doors. The doctor was going to love this one.


	9. Chapter 9

Gabriella stared at the stain the carpet as she listened to the clock ticking on the wall. She was 20 minutes into her 50 minute session. "Who is this boy?" the doctor asked looking down at her note pad, "Troy? I've heard his name before during our last session."

Gabriella shifted. "He's my RA." She picked at one of her nails. "He also works down at the service counter after my shift."

"Would you call him a friend?" The doctor asked tilting her head.

"I'm not sure." Gabriella said after a moment's hesitation. "Sometimes we are." Thoughts of the blue blazing eyes peering over Sharpay's shoulder set her blood zinging through her body with incredible force. Just one look and she was rendered into this state she couldn't even describe.

"And those other times?" The doctor pressed.

What about those others times. His patience and acceptance, he never pushed her, never asked for any kind of future explanation. It seemed like whenever she was around she felt things. She felt feelings she hadn't been able to feel in a while, like amusement, annoyance, curiosity and desire. "It feels like he attracted to me." Gabriella said feeling the slight brush of red seeping into her cheeks. "But his ex-girlfriend is my roommates best friend and one of my new friends so," Gabriella folded her hands together as if to end the topic and that where the subject had to end. Sharpay was now a friend. Sharpay was someone who she reached out the olive branch and brought her into a conversation.

Despite her blonde, conceded, overbearing tendencies, Sharpay at least made her feel included. It was also clear that the feelings she had for Troy were obviously not all gone. There was still something there. She wouldn't care about his thoughts of her if she didn't.

"How do you feel when you're with him, do find yourself smiling?" The doctor said with a small smile herself.

The question was like a torpedo in the dead sea. She could lie or tell the truth. She'd come this far, talking about it only made it more real."Once," Gabriella said in a low voice as she looked up to meet the doctor's eyes. "Whenever he's around I feel the sense of him watching me." Gabriella said casting a sideway glance back to the stain on the carpet. She could help but wonder about the mystery behind the stain, how it came to be, why it was shaped like the head of animal she couldn't identify. It was a brownish color against the grey of the actual carpet.

"Do you find him attractive?"

Gabriella attention snapped back up, direct hit to her battle ship. "He's alright. I mean if you like that short of rogue, witty, and class clown but also Joe cool kind of look."

"What about his actual physical appearance?"

The blush was back and Gabriella released her hands so that she could once again pick at her nail. "I seen him once without a shirt, well he was wearing one it just wasn't on him all the way yet." She said looking back up quickly. "He's very much in shape."

"Despite the friendship you have with this girl, would you feel comfortable with the idea that he might want to spend more time with you?"

"I feel comfortable spending time with him," she said with a nod.

"Has he touched you?"

"No,"

The doctor leaned back in her chair. "Gabriella, in early sessions you said you felt haunted by the rape itself. Are you sure it's not of the man who assaulted you?"

Gabriella face furrowed in confusion, "I see him, not his face but I see him sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, behind me in a mirror, I hear his voice in my sleep."

"What does he say to you?"

Gabriella shook her head "Just random things, things I remember from that night." Gabriella closed her eyes and could feel the sharp sting all over her body as if he was still holding her down into the gravel rock. "Grunts, moans, slurs of curse words, name calling." Gabriella opened her eyes and a tear rolled down her check. "He told me…" she paused to catch her breath, "That if he couldn't have me no one else would."

The doctor was quiet for a long moment as they both sat there in silence as Gabriella took deep breaths to clam herself. "Gabriella, by shutting yourself off from other people and not allowing yourself to explore romantic interests, you're letting your attacker win."

Another tear rolled down her cheek as she nodded slightly.

"As long as you're pushing everyone away, the assault will never be over, you're always going to be right there under his thumb, letting this man control you." The doctor she pressing her right thumb into her left hand for a visual.

"I don't know what to do?" Gabriella said in a low voice, "I'm trying to be different."

The doctor stood from her seat and walked over to Gabriella, with hesitation she reached for her hand and Gabriella offered it to her seeking comfort. "Don't try, just do." The doctor said to her in a comforting tone. "Everything you need to know about what to do is all in here." She said pointing to Gabriella's heart. "Touch people, talk to people, take that right back, and don't let him make you feel like you can't because you can."

Gabriella nodded as she took a deep breath.


	10. Chapter 10

Gabriella looked out into the empty game room, it was a quarter after 6 and people were off doing bigger and better things she supposed. Looking back the words on the screen she let out a sigh, she'd been trying to do her English literature essay for the last hour and so far all she had was a page.

"Hey girly?" Sharpay voice chimed as she peeked her head into the service room from the window.

"Hey," she responded.

"I was just in the building," she said looking up at the clock, "Kind of wondering if anyone was alive down here." She chuckled nervously.

"He doesn't start for another two hours." Gabriella said following her glaze up to the clock.

"Who?" Sharpay said with a frown as she adjusted the bag over her shoulder.

Gabriella arched an eyebrow in sympathy. "Troy."

Sharpay's shoulders slumped as she looked at Gabriella with a frown. "God am I that obvious?"

"Only to the trained eye," Gabriella offered with a comforting glance.

"I'm so pathetic." Sharpay let her shoulders slump.

"No you're not." Gabriella offered as she minimized her Essay.

"It's just that I feel so lonely, you know?" She motioned to Gabriella and let out a sigh. "How do you do it?"

Gabriella arched her brow in confusion. "Do what?"

"Be alone."

"I think it's easier for me because I'm socially awkward." Gabriella said with a small grin.

Sharpay was quite for a moment as she around biting her bottom lip. "Gabriella," she said turning back to face her.

"Yes," She responded closing her text book and coming to the conclusion that she wasn't going to get any work done.

"Do you think you could, maybe," Sharpay paused before she finished her sentence to look around again. Which made Gabriella arch her own brows as she looked around the empty game room.

"I think we're alone." Gabriella teased.

"I know." Sharpay said looking back at her with a nervous smile. "Do you think you could figure out if Troy still thinks there's a chance between us?"

Gabriella froze as she bit down on both her lips. A rush of cold and burning heat rippled through her so hard that she actually thought she might lose the ability to stand. "I don't know if that's a good idea?"

Sharpay shrugged her shoulders, "I just want to know if he's thinking about me," she said giving Gabriella a pouty lip. "Plleeeassseeee."

"I barely know him," Gabriella protested.

"Which is why he'll give you an honest answer, I can't have Taylor ask him." She said as if the whole thing made all the sense in the world.

"Sharpay?" Gabriella said slowly. "Why did you end things with him if you still have feeling for him?"

Sharpay shrugged. "I don't know, I mean he's a great guy and I love him, but we seem to just fizzle out you know," She smirked a little as if ashamed to admit it.

"So why didn't you just go on break or something?" Gabriella suggested.

"Because Troy wouldn't understand. He's an all or nothing kind of guy you know?"

Gabriella shook her head and considered responding with a blunt no she didn't know but she stayed quite.

"Point is, I miss him, he has this way of looking at you that just makes you feel soo..."

"Important?" Gabriella supplied.

"Plus he has really good hair."

Gabriella eye brows took flight as she tried really hard to not roll her eyes. "Sharpay?"

"So you'll do it!" Sharpay smiled as she gave her a grateful look. "Thanks Gabi, really I owe you." she said as she shifted her bag and begun to leave. Gabriella remained behind the service counter her mouth hung open in disbelief.

It was about an hour later when she saw Troy descending the stairs with his back pack over his shoulder. He was wearing basketball shorts that came down to his knees with red t-shirt. He had a black baseball cap on backwards he was holding a book in his hands. Gabriella lips tugged in the corner as a small smile began to form. Looking down she focused on her essay, the one which was now half a page. Only 5 and half more pages to go till she's got the minimum.

The beep of his key card made her eyes look up again and he walked into the back it was then that she notice he had Addis sandals on. "You look comfortable." Gabriella said in low voice as she turned back to her work.

"I had a few meetings today nothing worth a suit and tie." He said winking her way, "There's a poetry reading tonight," he said putting his bag on a chair and walking over to the sound equipment. "Do you mind working the counter until I've finished setting up?" he said grabbing a mic stand.

"Isn't there an AV guy who's supposed to do that?" Gabriella asked as she turned to watch him pull out some wires.

"You're looking at him," Troy said with a chuckle, "That's why I work the night shift, they won't have to pay me double if I'm already here." Troy said with a huff.

"That sucks," Gabriella looked back at her essay, she stared at the screen for a while trying ignore the noise of him behind her. The room was now filled with his scent, a musk spice, she smelled it before but she couldn't put her finger on it. After a moment's thought she let out a sigh, "Sharpay was here," she said deciding to rip the band aid off.

"Really?" he said uninterested.

"Do you miss her?" Gabriella said turning around to watch his reaction. Troy eyes were now on her and she wished she wasn't asking him these questions because for reason she felt like the answer was going to kill her.

"Yes and no," Troy said looking back down at the wire. "A two year relationship means something; you can't just shrug it off or forget it." Troy said with a shrug. "On the other hand we're kind of like fire and gasoline you know, one spark of trouble and we always went up in flames."

Gabriella nodded, "Isn't fire supposed to be a good thing in a relationship?"

"Not when it's the bad kind of fire." Troy said propping the metal door open and carrying out the stand and cords, she watched him plug in wires and adjust the stand. When he came back in he paused in the doorway. "She asked you to ask me if I missed her didn't she?"

The question caught her completely off guard. "No," Gabriella squeaked as she shook her head.

"God bless your soul, you're a horrible liar." Troy said with a smile. "Answer me this Gabriella?" he said placing his hands on his waist. "Why do you keep staring at me?"

"I'm not staring," Gabriella said, her hands were actually beginning to shake a little. She glanced up at the clock there was still an hour of her shift left. Biting down on her lower lip she looked over at her essay again. He was now staring at her. "Why do you keep staring at me?" she said matter of fact.

"Because I like you."

That answer made her jerk and she nodded. "Thanks, you're a nice guy," she said biting down a little harder on her lip.

"You like me too," Troy said with a soft chuckle. "Otherwise you wouldn't be trying to make that bottom lip of yours a meal."

Gabriella looked back at him to see him smiling at her and quickly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I already told you I'm not interested."

"You got a boyfriend back at home?" Troy asked.

"No,"

"You like girls?"

"No,"

"You taking a vow to god and becoming a nun?"

"No," Gabriella turned away from him and looked back at her computer. "Just not interested," when he didn't respond she turned to look at him and he was over by the sound equipment adjusting buttons and knobs. "I'm not ready to be in a relationship."

"That's funny," Troy said with a shrug, "I don't recall asking you for one?" he said turning to smile her way. "Do you always hear things people don't say or is that just with me?"

Gabriella bit down on her lip again and felt a blush come over her cheeks looking away from him she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Why are you blushing?" he said turning back to the wires and pulling out another one then grabbing a speaker.

"Are you always this intrusive?" She asked with narrowed eyes in his direction as he moved across the room.

"I'm honest," Troy shot back as he carried the equipment toward the metal doors. "Normally people appreciate that."

Gabriella watched him walk out up to the stage and she let out a breath, she looked back up at the clock only four minutes had passed. Slumping in her chair she tilted her head back and closed her eyes. This was a nightmare.

"Excuse me?"

Gabriella eyes opened to see a beach blond boy standing in front of the window. "What do you need?"

"I got the signup sheet for tonight's open mic." He said "My name's Ryan." He said with a smile, he reached out his hand and Gabriella stared at it. This was what her doctor meant by taking back her life, and not letting someone's touch intimidate you. Before she knew it Troy was at her side.

"Hey, don't feel bad. She's a germaphobe." Troy tossed her a wink as he took Ryan's hand. "We can leave this right here on the counter if you like?"

Ryan smiled as he looked from Gabriella to Troy. "Yeah man whatever," Ryan let out a sign. "Heard about you and my sister, sorry."

Being this close to Troy was sending shock waves through her body. She wondered if he could feel it too. That cold flashing sweat that seemed like excitement and fear rolled all into one. What would it be like to touch him? She needed to stop day dreaming before he caught her again.

"Don't be, I'm growing to like my new found freedom." Troy said with a laugh as he held up the list to read it. "Speaking of the devil, she's not signed up already?"

"Nope, believe it or not she said she was going to do her homework for Ferguson." Ryan said leaning on the service counter and eyeballing Gabriella. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Ryan, Sharpay's older brother."

"Older by two minutes," Troy said with a huff as he slumped down on the desk besides Gabriella. The vibe of being around her was like an electric current. He was almost positive that they could supply energy to some foreign country. Giving a sideways glance he watched as she bit her bottom lip again, a nervous habit that was adding some serious plush to her already tempting lips. Rebounding! His bringing a hand up his rubbed his left eye and swiped some hair away. He had to remember he was her Ra, she was supposed to trust him. He needed to be alone right now anyway.

"Gabriella, just a mutual friend." she said crossing her arms in front of her.

"Kelsi's told me about you," Ryan said.

Gabriella put on her best forced smile as she flipped her hair behind her ear, Troy took the queue. "Hey Ryan you want to help me do the mic check?"

"Yeah sure," Distracted by the offer he made his way to the stage and Troy picked up a pen to put down on top of the list.

"You got this chief?" He asked looking down at her for any signs of communication.

"Yeah," she said letting out a breath a placing her hands flat on the table, "No problems."

"That's my girl." Troy lifted his hand to give her a pat on the back but stopped. They both stared at each other for what felt like forever. "So yeah, get people to sign up." he said slowly after he took a step back for distance.

After escaping the awkwardness he was back on the stage helping Ryan. Troy handed him another mic Wire and then took a glance back at the service counter where she now sat staring off again.

"So what's her story?" Ryan voice called to him and he turned to see Ryan glaze directed at Gabriella. "Kelsi says she's a criminal justice major."

"At this point you know a lot more about her than I do." Troy admitted with annoyance he didn't understand.

"Sure didn't seem that way back there?" Ryan said plugging in the mic.

"I mean I know of her and I know she has some trust issues with men but I don't really know anything about her." Troy said with a shrug.

"You know if my sister gets wind of this she'll kill you." Ryan said with a sigh, "I don't think she expected you to bounce back so fast."

"I'm not bouncing," he countered with frustration. "and she dumped me remember?" he added before turning to look back at the speaker equipment.

"Good luck reminding her of that." Ryan said shaking his head.


	11. Chapter 11

Gabriella looked over at Troy as he bent down over one of the speakers he was frowning at something Ryan said. She instantly wished that she could hear what they were talking about. She suddenly wanted to be included in on what Troy was talking about or at least there to watch him say it. The idea of watching him seemed to send tiny little curls of excitement through her.

"I keep forgetting you work down here,"

Her attention shifted to Taylor who was now standing in the service window signing her name on the signup sheet for the readings.

"I didn't know you write poetry" Gabriella said looking up at her with a smile. "That's really brave."

"It's a way to relief some pent up frustration," Taylor looked up from her signature and offered a small smile. "College life can be stressful; sometimes pouring your heart out to a world full of strangers is freeing." Taylor shrugged a little, "Anyway, how's college life treating you?"

Gabriella eyes shifted from the signup sheet to her fingers she was picking at her nails again, "It's been different from what I expected." She said cautiously.

Taylor looked out behind her and Gabriella noticed Troy and Ryan now greeting Chad. "You can't trust things that you expect." Taylor said looking back at Gabriella. "Expectations are a means to failure."

Gabriella offered Taylor small smile of concern. "Is everything alright?"

Taylor looked down at the signature then back up. "I think he's cheating on Me." she said in a soft voice.

Gabriella felt her insides twist as Taylor looked back up at her. Racking her brain she sought out something to say but came up with nothing. So instead she reached out and took her hand. "What do you want to do?"

Taylor took a deep breath, "Well I'll be moving back into our dorm room." she said nervously. "If that's alright?"

"Its sounds perfect."

Taylor looked down at Gabriella's hand over hers, feeling an odd sensation of trust and friendship building just from a touch. "Thanks,"

"No problem," Gabriella said.

"Hey," Troy said coming in through the metal door to reach for a stool from off to the side.

"Hey," Taylor pulled her hand back and straighten her shoulders all signs of weakness gone. "You working hard or hardly working?" she teased.

"Ha, ha, ha." Troy said shuffling his way back out. "Everyone's a comedian." Troy paused in the door way for a moment as Kelsi squeezed past.

"Oh my god is he here? He's here." Kelsi came up to the window next to Gabriella and took a peek towards the stage. "He's so built." she said with a sigh.

Both Gabriella and Taylor did a double check then looked back at Kelsi. "I'm going to go find a seat." Taylor said offering an arched brow towards Gabriella. "See you later?"

"Later." Gabriella nodded.

Gabriella began to gather her books into her bag.

"You're not staying for the slam?" Kelsi said with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Nope, I have an essay to write." Gabriella said with a sigh.

"Well," Kelsi said with a frown. "Now I don't have an excuse to be back here."

"Oh yes you do," Troy voice came into the room as he held up his phone. "I have to go, drama back at the dorm."

Kelsi began clapping her hands. "Score!"

Troy let out a chuckle and reached for his bag, what's not set up already Ryan is going to finish, Hopefully I'll be back before close."

Gabriella got up from her seat and picked up her own bag as she made her way to the door.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride back." Troy said coming up behind her.

Gabriella brought both her hands up to tuck her hair behind both ears. "It's alright, I'll walk it."

"Nonsense," Troy said walking besides her towards the door. "It'll break my heart if you rather walk alone at night then be in a car with me for 7 minutes."

Gabriella rolled her eyes as she began to make her way down the path. "Something tells me you'll live to see another day."

"Fine, I'll walk with you." Troy said as he shoved his keys back into his pocket.

Gabriella turned on her heals and crossed her arm. "We're going to straight to the dorm?"

"Yes,"

"7 Minutes?"

"Promise."

Gabriella bit her bottom lip again and she let out a breath. "Fine."

Troy smiled as he pulled out his keys and motioned for her to follow. Once they were at his white pickup he walked over to her side and opened the door for her, allowing her to get in. "Just push whatever trash out of the way." he said with smile.

Gabriella hesitated and then with a side long glance she looked at Troy really hard the mood suddenly shifted. "Seven minutes." she said again before getting into the car.

Troy closed the door and with a confused curiosity he came around to his side and got in. When he started up the car the Music was turned all the way up making them both Jump. "Sorry," he said looking her way. She was huddled against the door hand on the handle ready to leave. "You alright?"

"Just drive, ok." She said holding her bag close to her chest.

"If this is because of what I said earlier, I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. Trust me, I'll be nothing but Gentleman." Troy offered her his best smile. "At least until you beg me not to be." When she didn't respond he turned off the car and Gabriella attention jerked his way and he held her glaze for a moment trying his best to be as non-threatening as possible. "Gabriella I have been respectful of all your wishes with reasonable flexibility to the rules." He added at the end with a wince, "and I have been trying my best to make things easier for you. Now I know you don't want to talk about it and I hope the guy who did this to you gets what's coming to him, but, you need to help me help you. You are perfectly safe with me, I don't intend to hurt you, ever."

Gabriella nodded slowly as she let out a deep breath. "It's harder, than you think" she said looking out the car window. "In all honesty, I should warn you that the list of things wrong with me is probably longer than any list of positives." She bit down on her lower lip as she looked back up at him. "And you're right; I should be at least trying to make this easier for both of us."

Troy started the truck again and then he adjusted so he could pull out of the parking spot. Once he shifted the car in drive he let out a sigh and gave her a side long glance. "In all honesty, there absolutely nothing wrong with you."

When they pulled up to the dorm Gabriella stared in amazement as all people standing outside. "What's going on?"

"Someone burnt popcorn and fire alarm went off!" Troy called as they both stepped out of the car.

Gabriella watched as Troy approached the firefighters pulling out his wallet for id. Crossing her arms she looked around at all the girls standing outside, some in their pajamas, others in jeans. One girl was standing in her flip flops and a towel soap suds dripping from her hair. Taking a deep breath she looked back at Troy who was signing something for the firemen and talking to the other Ra's from the other floors. Gabriella looked into the crowd of people standing around and her eyes stopped at Sharpay who was running over to her side.

"Hey," Gabriella said cautiously.

Sharpay grabbed hold of her hands tugging on Gabriella's arms vigorously and making her body jerk around as a result. "What did he say? Did you ask?"

Gabriella politely tugged her hands back towards her body, and guilt pulled at her harder than she would have predicted. "Well... I did ask him."

"Oh my god." Sharpay said with a frown, "He hates me."

"No," Gabriella said quickly. "He said that a two year relationship wasn't something someone could ignore or just forget."

"Well what does that mean?" Sharpay asked as she look over where Troy was talking to the firemen.

Gabriella looked over in that direction as well. "Well..." she offered not sure what else to say. Her eyes rested on him as he removed his hat to scratch his head and look up at the dorm before turning around and beginning to walk back to the truck.

"Oh my god he's coming this way, what do I say?" Sharpay said clinging onto Gabriella's arm and giving it another tug.

Gabriella looked down at her arm then back up at Sharpay with a raised brow. "Just say hi?"

Troy approached them shooting Gabriella a raise brow as he pointed toward their linked arms. "You two became close." he said resting his hands on his hips.

"Hey Troy," Sharpay said flipping an invisible strand of hair back.

"Hey Pay," he said in a low voice. after a moment of silence he point behind him at the dorm. "Well Zeke from upstairs is handling my floor so you can go check in with him," he said looking at Gabriella, his eyes shifted toward Sharpay, "and tonight is an Open mic night, you know?"

"Yeah," Sharpay said with a small smile.

"You didn't sign up?"

"Home work." she said with a shrug.

"Yeah, Ryan told me," he said looking back at Gabriella. "Kelsi is not going to be happy this only took 20 minutes."

"Well I'm going to go get back to my homework then," Sharpay said a little too loud which actually made Gabriella smile in amusement. At the release of her arm she instantly felt the cold take over and watched as Sharpay leaned into awkwardly give Troy a hug, who returned the hug with one arm around her lower back. Gabriella quickly looked away. She was instantly envious. She felt guilty about that too, as if she were betraying Sharpay even though there was no actual friendship to betray. Sharpay had been nice to her, invited her to go out with them as a group, included her in girl talk. Gabriella bit her lip as she took a deep breath, she still had some loyalty to maintain didn't she?

"Well that was weird." Troy said, catching her attention so she could look up and find that Sharpay was walking back towards the dorm and out of earshot.

"Yeah," Gabriella said tucking a stray strand behind her ear.

"That's cute." he said with a smirk.

Gabriella stilled as she looked at him caught off guard. "I'm sorry what?"

"That thing you do when you're uncomfortable, you tuck your hair behind your ears." he said with a shrug, "It's adorable."

Gabriella felt the blush seeping into her cheeks. "Thank you, I think?" she said looking up at him with a small smile pulling at her lips.

"It's also very easy to make you blush," Troy said rocking back on the heels of his feet.

Gabriella looked away from him and let out breath as brought her hand out to his and offered it to him. "Thank you for driving me to the dorm. You didn't have too."

Troy stared down at her hand, it was shaking. "Careful there Montez, keep this up and you just might give that little heart of yours a freight." he said eyeing her hand with caution they were both quite for a moment and Gabriella reasserted her hand only to jerk a little when Troy moved towards her. "You know what," Troy shook his head and shoved his hands back in his pockets. "It's alright, it will happen when it happens." He said with a small wink. "Night Montez."

Gabriella shoulders fell as she watched him walk back to the driver's side of his truck. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she adjust her t-shirt. Crossing her arms she began to walk off, her eyes focusing on the path in front of her. That was when she heard the crunch, the sound of some one behind her following her. Gabriella uncrossed her arms and held them at her sides. Suddenly she could see her own breath, the autumn sun position late in the afternoon and her shadow barely casted on the ground. Autumn her favorite time of the year when it was just the right weather to be warm and chilled at the same time. If she wasn't running late she could have slowed down, the peer tutoring session was only three more blocks away, and everyone seemed to be inside despite the nice weather. Not a soul insight, slowing down she shook out her feet a little. They were tired and heavy the craving of a single slice of apple pie from the bakery just down the street made her taste buds quiver in excitement.

That's when it hit her, the instinct the one that told her to turn around. Her head spun around this time her entire body ready for him. Her teeth gritted and her fist up. Her foot planted firm in the ground, no one was dragging her away this time.

"Hey, hey?" Troy voice sounded and he held out both hands in front of him her back pack dangling from his right hand.

Gabriella let out breath as she looked around she was back in the parking lot in front of the dorm. It was almost dark out and a curious Troy was staring at her with caution. "Sorry,"

"You forgot your bag," he said holding out and keeping his distance.

"Thank you," she said taking it and avoiding his glaze.

"You alright, you don't look so good?" Troy asked holding his hands out.

"I'm fine," she said hoisting her bag over her left shoulder. "Night Troy," she said spinning on her heel and making a beeline for the door. Her hands were shaking, her breathing was heavy, her eyes wet with tears. Quickly shoving pass some of the other people standing outside mingling she made her way inside and into her room locking the door and resting against it as she took deep breaths, her entire body trembling now.


	12. Chapter 12

Troy leaned back in his desk chair sending a paper ball soaring through the air and into the waste basket across the room. "And he's still got it!" Troy shouted making fake cheering noises.

"Whatever man," Chad rolled his eyes as he looked back down in his book. "I thought we were going to split up Samson's assignment and get it done before game?"

"Well I bet the Roman's wanted to build Rome in a day but look how well that turned out." Troy said with a sigh as he leaned forward in his chair and picked up his book. "What's eating you anyway, you're normally the first to slack off?" thinking of it Chad entire mood tonight was off. He seemed more quite and off put. Maybe even more cautious.

"I just have other things on my mind alright?" Chad said looking back down at the book. In Chad speak that meant him and Taylor were fighting.

Troy rolled his eye, "Oh come on trouble in paradise?" Troy asked with grin. "Living with her is driving you crazy huh? You must actually have to fold your laundry now."

"She moved back into the dorm with her roommate." Chad said not looking up from the book.

Troy's face fell and he put his book down on the desk. "Seriously, is everything alright?"

Chad looked up at him almost unsure if he wanted to say anything at all. "She wants a break."

"A break?" Troy repeated all too familiar with that word after going through many breaks himself with Sharpay. "That's not a big deal, I mean you guys were just a little suffocated that's all. You got classes and homework to worry about and living in a small space." Troy shrug, "That's bound to make anyone want a bit of space."

"Not this time," Chad said with a frown, "This time I think that's it."

Troy folded his hands in his lap and took a breath. "Come on you guys love each other" Troy as reassuring as he could be, "you can handle all of loves little bumps in the road."Just before Chad could say anything there was a knock on the door. "It's open," Troy called out.

"Hey Troy," Sharpay said in the doorway. Her eyes looked over at Chad then at Troy. "I was kind of hoping we could talk?" she said curling a strand of hair around her finger "Alone." She added motioning for him to step outside.

Troy looked over at Chad with a grim smile. "You gonna be alright man?"

"Yeah man, I'm cool." Chad nodded and brought his attention back to his book.

Troy got up and walked out into the hall leaving the door ajar just a bit. "What's up Pay?"

"Troy, I feel like complete and utter crap," she said let out a dramatic sigh.

"This should be good," Troy muttered under his breath.

"The more and more I think about how things ended and how things use to be the more and more I feel stupid for letting such a good thing go." Sharpay said with small smile. "You and me were always so good together."

"Were," Troy said leaning back on the wall. "Were, until you stomped on it like it was a cockroach," he said leaning his head back and looking at the people down in the commons.

"Troy, I know I broke your heart," Sharpay said placing a hand on his chest. "I'm willing to do anything I can to make it up to you." She added in a suggestive tone.

"You know," Troy winced as he grabbed her hand in his and removed it from his chest lightly. "About three weeks ago I would have entertained that wicked little mind of yours." He said meeting her eyes with his. "Today," he said with a shrug. "I'm simply not that interested."

"What do you mean not that interested?" Sharpay squeaked.

"It means I've moved on."

"Who is she?" Sharpay narrowed her eyes at him.

"There's no one." Troy said with a chuckle. "Have you ever just stopped to think that maybe this time I've had enough, that I don't want to do this back and forth thing."

"There is someone else I knew it!" She said in a harsh whisper. "It's that Gabriella chick isn't it?"

Troy jerk a little at the sound of her name and his eyes looked down either side of the hall. "Who it is, is no longer any of your business." Troy said gently. "And there is nothing going on between Gabriella and I."

"Like I believe that," Sharpay said crossing her arms, "Let me remind you Troy you are a Resident Advisor and any relationship a floor member and RA is prohibited."

"I'm very well aware of that fact, which is why there is nothing going on." Troy said placing both his hands on her shoulders. "Why don't take a deep breath."

"Don't talk to me like I'm some terrified freshmen." she said moving out of his grasp. "There better be nothing going on, because I'd hate to see if word got to resident living board that your involved with a student on your floor."

Silence followed as Troy eyes studied Sharpay carefully, she wasn't kidding, and she was making an empty promise. She meant every word. "You can't be serious?"

"Try me." Sharpay voice a dare riding on the edge of it. The sound of it made Troy a little disgusted.

"Good-bye Sharpay." he said moving back towards the room leaving her alone in the hall.

"You go out with her and it'll be the line in the sand Troy." she said.

Troy spun around a stunned expression across his face. "Wow," he said bringing a hand up to back of his neck. "Then you and I are on two different pages because the line in the sand for me was when you threaten to report me." He said placing his hand now on his chest with an offended expression. "That was pretty line defining for me."

"Troy I-"

"Later Sharpay." he said disappearing into his room and closing the door behind him.

Sharpay walked door to Taylor's door and pushed it open, looking in to see Taylor still sitting at her laptop. "I think he's interested in Gabriella." she said coming in and falling to the bed.

"Well it's your own fault," Taylor let out a sigh as she punctuated her last thought. "You broke up with him and then asked Gabriella to spy for you."

"Well you were busy," Sharpay said laying on her back.

A white hot flash of jealously raged over her as she thought about her own situation that she'd been busy with. The idea that Chad might be sleeping with someone else was becoming more and more evident. At first she picked up on subtle ways he pulled away from her. He became more distant, always going somewhere to do something 'that shouldn't take long' but ended up taking longer than he expected. Taylor grinded her lower teeth a little as she thought about Chad going behind her back and cheating on her. Looking back at Sharpay who was off in her own fuming boyfriend war she let out a sigh and pushed her problem to the side."Do you think Gabriella feels the same way?"

"Are you kidding, have you seen Troy," Sharpay let out a sigh. "Half the student body feels that way," She added. Quietly she looked up at the ceiling trying to focus on one thought at a time. "Unless," she bolted up right and looked over at Gabriella's side of the room.

"Unless what?" Taylor said with a frown.

"I think I'm going to do a little research of my own?" Sharpay said with a raised brow. "In fact, I going to head out to the library, I'll catch up with you later?" Sharpay stood up reached for her purse.

"Pay?" Taylor said raising a brow cautiously.

"Hey I'm just going to sniff and around and see who I'm messing with." Sharpay said with a shrug. "It's harmless."

Taylor rolled her eyes as she turned back to her laptop.


	13. Chapter 13

The doctor shifted in her seat as she watched Gabriella seated in the brown chair. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Gabriella opened her eyes. The weight rolled off her shoulders as she rolled her head a little.

"So tell me about your friends." The doctor said with a smile. "It sounds like you've made quite a few.

Gabriella nodded. "I think." She said with a shrug in a low voice. "I mean with Taylor back in the room it feels different, Sharpay's around a lot more and Kelsi I hang out from time to time to study."

"What about your old friends?" she said with a friendly smile. "The ones from Stanford, what were they like before the incident?"

Gabriella was quite as she thought about her entire life before the incident. Before any of this had happen she'd been naïve about life, clueless to the dangers that lurked in the night and confident in her own self preservation. Gabriella let out a sigh as she tucked her hair behind her ear. Today was the first day in a long while she actually wore it down. Baby steps.

"Did you guys go out in groups often?" The doctor asked when Gabriella hadn't responded.

"We were in school actives I guess," Gabriella said as her eyes jerk to the stain in the carpet. "I hung out with my roommate a lot and I went on the occasional date."

"Would you consider yourself to be a highly social person or a happy medium?" The doctor asked adjusting the paper in her lap.

"Well put that way wouldn't every one want to be the happy medium?" Gabriella asked with a frown.

"Why do you think that is?" The doctors facial features shifted, portraying that uninterested but interested in what someone else had to say expression.

"I guess because no one wants to be a loner and no one wants to be most popular." Gabriella said as she leaned back in her chair, "Mostly because both ends of the spectrum are exactly the same with a slight difference."

"And what is that difference to you?"

"Being alone in a crowd is just the coward way out for being alone on their own." Gabriella nodded slightly, "When you're a happy medium you're alone but you don't always have to be alone… alone." She said with a half hearted shrug.

"So the take home point is that no matter what everyone alone?" The doctor asked with a raised brow. "What about lovers, siblings, friends, what about you?" The doctor leaned forward a bit. "Why do you feel alone?"

Gabriella brought one of her knees up onto the brown couch hugging it close to her chest as she thought about it. Her fingers sliding down to her ankles were she began to play with the rim of her sock. "I'm alone because I'm the only one like me?" she said looking up to meet the doctor's eyes. "I don't really run into other rape victims on a daily bias." She said looking back down at her sock. "Or talk to people who have attempted suicide." Gabriella fingers twisted in the sock. "I don't see other teenage girls with scars along their stomachs and taking about 7 to 8 pills daily just to function."

The doctor leaned back taking the 19 year old girl sitting before her. "Gabriella," she said softly. "You're not alone; there are support groups full of people who have been through all the same things as you and talking about it helps." She pleaded, "It might not seem to be that way but if you give it time it can help you."

Gabriella rolled her eyes as she let out a breath. "I've been to support groups. I've done the "my name is" thing." Gabriella's leg fell from the couch. "That's what triggered the attempts," Gabriella let out of frustration as she shoved her hands in her hair. "I don't want to know that there are people out there who suffer worst than I do, I don't want to listen to stories that make me proud to have only gone through what I had to, and I don't want to feel guilty for belittling someone else's pain because compared to what I went though, they got lucky." Gabriella squeezed her eyes shut as she slowly rocked back and forth. "You don't understand what its like," A sob escaped her as spoke, her chest heaved as she her lips trembled. "I am alone. Because I'm the only one in here." She said between clenched teeth tapping a finger against the side of her temple.

There was silence in the room as both women sat quietly. The doctor let out a sigh as she wiped a small tear from the side of her cheek. In an effort to busy herself she straightens up the file in front of her hand and took a deep breath. Her hands shaking as she laid them down flat against the folder.


	14. Chapter 14

Saturday morning Gabriella woke up early to get a head start on her morning jog. To say her session with the doctor had been progressive was yet to be determined. As a result she stayed up late last night after Taylor had gone to bed writing an e-mail to her old roommate Martha, craving some sense of familiarity in the strange land of silence that Taylor had given her. In some ways she missed her old life, her old routines and her old friends. In reality everything about that world had been tainted by the attack. Putting her inside a prison, incasing her into this helpless creature everyone felt sorry for.

Gabriella feet pushed harder, running was something she didn't know how she ever lived without before the incident. It wasn't the only thing that had changed. Gabriella found herself 2nd guessing everything about herself. Her taste in music had changed, placing her iPod in disarray as she removed every song that reminded her of the attack, of all the songs that made her sad, or angrier. Instead she was venturing out into indie rock, alterative and some sort of dub step world, anything that kept her mind busy. She'd stopped reading romance novels, she begun reading biographies instead finding it much easier to read about others triumphs. Everything about her seemed to be changing almost like she was growing up from her past self and becoming someone else.

Coming back to the front of the dorm she stopped dead in her tracks as the site of a familiar face from Stanford.

"Gabi!"

"Martha?"

The girl came running up to her embracing her in a hug as she jumped up and down with delight. After the shock wore off she let out a breath. "What are you doing here?"

"You do not get to send emotional jarring e-mails and expect me to not show up!" she said with shoving her slightly. "You're my friend," she said warm smile. "I'm here for you no matter where you are. "Especially, when your birthday is tomorrow?"

Gabriella smiled as she let out a breath and placed both hands on her hips. "I can't believe you remembered and that you're here." Gabriella said with an old sense of relief then her eyes looked behind her at the duffel bag. "And you're staying for …"

"The weekend," Martha responded with a smile.

Gabriella nodded "Taylor going to just love that." She mumbled under her breath.

"So what are we gonna do for the big 2-0." Martha said with a nudge, "Any cute football player around?"

Gabriella let out a soft laugh as she shrugged her shoulders. "I really don't know what there is to do around here on a weekend. I've been spending a lot of my time working out or studying."

Martha shook her head, "Gabi what would you do without me?"

"Not celebrate a birthday?" Gabriella said with a frown.

Martha let out sigh and she came more to her side so she can put her arm over Gabriella's shoulder. "You and me, were going to show these California girls how we roll."

Troy looked out into the deserted game room. Today he was working the morning shift, something that didn't happen often but when it did Troy knew it was going to be four hours of boredom.

"Yo," Chad came over to the window leaning in a little to make sure they were alone. "50 cent beers at the Hell Boyz tonight."

"Great," Troy said with a sigh, "Just what I need," Troy said with a yawn as he got more comfortable in his chair.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Chad said looking around the empty game room.

"You're looking at my back breaking labor now." Troy said with a shrug.

Chad smiled as he motioned to the ping pong table. "Wanna go a few rounds?"

Troy reached over for a ball and two paddles. "Thank god!" he said as he walked over to the door and let himself out propping the door open a little bit with a chair. They walked over to the table and took their places."So you and Taylor get back together or what?" Troy asked as he hit the ball first.

"More like the or what?" Chad said with a sigh as he hit the ball back. "What about you and Sharpay?"

Troy moved to the right to hit the ball. "She's trying," he said shaking his head a little. "I'm avoiding."

"Damn," Chad hit the ball by dodging left for it, "And what's this whole Gabriella thing?"

Troy missed the ball and let out a sigh as he turned around to chase after where the ball bounced off to. "There's nothing going on there," he said coming back to the table. "She's just another girl on my floor." Troy said serving the ball again. "She's new to the campus and I just wanted make sure she was making friends." Troy lied as he watched the ball bounce on the table. He didn't quite know how he felt about Gabriella, other than she was a stunning individual who he was intrigued by. If he had to put a finger on it, it had to be her mysterious allure. The way she kept to herself and yet always surprise him.

"Yeah, but I mean at one point before Sharpay's little tantrum there was something going on wasn't it?" Chad said hitting the ball back. "Ryan said you guys were looking mighty cozy the other night."

"Ryan is full of shit." Troy said hitting the ball back. "I don't even know her all that well." But it didn't stop him from openly hitting on her. Troy mentally kicked himself for hitting on her, how could have been so stupid and careless.

Chad shook his head as he missed the ball turning around he paused as Sharpay and Taylor came walking over.

"Mind if we join in?" Sharpay said with a grin bending down to get the ball.

Chad turned back to Troy who was waved a hand and rolled his eyes, "I'll go get two more paddles."

Sharpay smiled as she perked up. "I'm on Troy's team."

"Shocker," Chad said flaring his hand with obvious annoyance.

Taylor came to stand beside him her arms crossed not facing him. "Chad,"

"Taylor," he responded bouncing the ball on the table.

Troy came out of the back room and walked over to Taylor to hand her, her paddle and she took it without saying a word. Walking towards Sharpay he tried his best not to frown as she gave him her flirty eyes. He wasn't at all comfortable with Sharpay at the moment, ever since he was threaten, his feelings about a lot of things including Sharpay changed.

"So what were you boys talking about?" Sharpay asked as she watched Chad serve the ball the ball bounced off the table twice before making its way into Troy's reach. Sharpay admired his muscles flex as he hit swung the paddle. "Is there nothing you're not good at?"

Troy furrowed his brow as he kept his eye on the ball watching it bounce before Taylor took a swing at it. Apparently was piss poor at keeping his hormones in check. Recovering quickly he let out a sigh, "We're just talking about going out for drinks later at Hell Boyz. You guys are welcome to tag along."

Chad narrowed his eyes as he let Taylor go after the ball. "Sure why not?" He said with an obvious strain to his voice. "Not like it was a guy only thing?" He added giving Troy a grim smile.

Troy shook his head, two months ago before any of these issues had come between them they never hid anything from each other. As far as their group was concerned there was nothing to hide. Taylor and Chad were always the couple who fought but never broke up and Troy and Sharpay where the couple who dramatically fought over everything and took frequent breaks from each other to cool down. In a sense non of that had changed but the ability to speak freely, the freedom to talk to each other openly about anything no matter what. These were the things that seemed to have slipped away from them. "It's going to be Fifty cent beers, you know." Troy said as Sharpay hit the ball.

"I'm so there," Sharpay said with a smirk. "Maybe if you're luckily I'll let you buy me a drink?"

Troy felt his jaw flex as he bit down hard, in his attempt to keep his groan mute. Sharpay was on a mission and Troy wasn't about to let her accomplish it.


	15. Chapter 15

Gabriella sat on her bed as Martha painted her last toe nail in bright pink. "So now they want you to join a support group?" Martha asked capping the bottle then turn to lightly blow on Gabriella's toe.

"She thinks it might be different this time?" Gabriella said looking at her matching pink finger nails. She missed this, having her roommate to talk to, a little girl time. Feeling almost like the world was a safe place once again. "With the distance and progress I've made so far. She thinks I be able to helps others as well as help myself."

"What do you think?" Martha asked putting the bottle to the side and now leaning back on the bed. "I mean it's great to have a professional opinion and all but at the end of the day do you feel ready to tell people about what happened?"

Gabriella was quite for a moment. "I'm not sure," Gabriella said.

"Well when you told Taylor how did she take it?" Martha said pulling a throw pillow over so she could rest on it.

Gabriella didn't respond, instead she took a deep breath and looked over Taylor's side of the room which was empty; she hadn't see her all day.

"Gabi?" Martha shot up, "Have you told anyone?"

Gabriella turn to meet Martha inquiring eyes and with a small frown she lightly shook her head. "It's not really a conversation starter." She said trying to force a smile.

"Gabi," Martha voice became softer, "You're going to have to let someone in. No one expects you to go through this alone."

Alone. There was that word again. Gabriella let out a sigh, "I guess I just haven't found the right person or had the right moment."

"What about that Troy guy?" she said with a small smile. "You're interested aren't you?"

Gabriella leaned back in her bed and let out a sigh, "It's complicated, I mean his ex-girlfriend is a friend of mine, not to mention a life size Barbie. She's also Taylor's best friend, he's my resident advisor/co-worker." Gabriella frowned a little. "Plus he's an upper classmen."

"Any more excuses?" Martha said with a set of wide eyes and a smile. "I sense the lady doth protest too much!" Martha let out a giggle, "Please tell me he's cute?"

Gabriella shook her head as she looked away from Martha. "I mean he's healthy."

"Oh," Martha said a little taken a back.

Just then there was a knock on the door and Taylor poked her head in. "You decent?"

"Yes," Gabriella looked down at her jeans and orange crush t-shirt. Then at Martha who was in a purple top and a jean skirt.

Taylor opened the door further and in came Sharpay and Chad after her. Everyone stopped in the middle of the room to stare at Gabriella and Martha.

"Hey," Sharpay said first looking at Martha as if she was trying to remember her.

Gabriella sat up straighter. "Hey guys this was my roommate back at Stanford, Martha this is Chad, Sharpay, and Taylor. Guys this is Martha."

Everyone murmured hellos and the glance around unsure who should be the next one to speak. "So are you staying the night?" Taylor asked noting the duffel bag by the end of Gabriella's bed.

"Only if that's alright with you?" Martha said with a smile. "I don't want to impose on anyone."

"No," Taylor shook her head, "Its fine with me," she said looking back at Gabriella. "We're going to head down to Hell Boyz, it's a little bar in town." She said with shrug.

"Sound like fun." Martha said nudging Gabriella in the leg.

Gabriella bit her lip and gave Martha a worried smile. "I don't think they were inviting us,"

"Of course we are?" Sharpay said with a laugh as she walked over to the bed and took Gabriella's hand to examine the nail polish, "Oh my god this looks so cute on you."

"Come on," Martha said with a smile. "It'd be a great way to celebrate your birthday."

"It's your birthday?" Taylor asked a little surprise, "Why didn't you say something?"

"My birthday isn't until tomorrow," Gabriella said politely, "It's fine, and really I don't like making a huge deal out of it anyway."

"She's going to be twenty." Martha offered.

"I say we just found a reason to party!" Sharpay said with a cheer. "Let's find something slutty to wear!"

Chad fell to down on to Taylor bed and watched as the girls conversed about what to wear. Troy was still working another shift before Kelsi came in, meaning he was on his own with the girls until then. A wave of boredom and annoyance washed over him. "Hey," Taylor smacked his leg, and Chad jerked upright.

"What is it?" he said looking at the all the girls now looking at him.

"Disappear while we change," Sharpay said pulling the door open. She raised an eye brow in his direction and motioned towards the hall for affect.

Chad mumbled a slur of curse words under his breath before pushing himself up and going out into the hall way were he could sit against one of the walls.

Two hours later Chad pounded on the door with the back of his fist. "Seriously we're going miss the damn shuttle!" he said rolling his eyes and looking at the watch on his wrist.

The door pulled open and Taylor was the first one out giving him an evil glare. She was wearing a green halter top with a pair of jeans. "Don't yell at me!" she said lifting her hand to nudge him in the forehead. Chad winced as he backed up to watch the other file out of the room. Last one out was Sharpay still in her Pink tang top but now in a black mini skirt, he let out a sigh as he followed the pack of girls down the hall.

Before they were all out the door Chad reached for Sharpay's hand pulling her back into the building and out of site from the rest. "What are you doing?" he said through clenched teeth.

"What are _you_ doing?" she said shrugging out of his grasp. "Taylor is right outside." She said checking to see if anyone noticed their disappearance.

"Like I don't know that?" he said in a harsh whisper. "What I'm talking about is your plotting attempt to hook back up with Troy."

"Well I don't see you ditching Taylor, Excuse me if I don't understand why I had to dump my boyfriend and your still with her." Sharpay said in a hushed tone as she checked again for anyone behind them.

"I'm working on it." Chad said bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

"Well I don't know how much longer I'll wait around while you work on it." She said crossing her arms and leaning to the left.

"This isn't easy for me," Chad said coming closer towards her, "If she doesn't kill me Troy will."

"Well then I guess you should have kept it in your pants then?" Sharpay said taking a step closer and standing in front of him in a firm stance.

"Hey," he said taking another step forward and pushing her back against the wall behind her. "You weren't exactly playing hard to get if I remember," he said brining his lips down almost over hers.

"You're going to get us caught?" she said in slow whisper as her lips parted a little her breathing becoming faster as she the pull of his lips.

Just then the metal doors opened and Gabriella came to a stop as the sight of their lips almost touching both in daze and both eyes hooded with a desire of want. Gabriella gasp in shock as the entire moment hit her in full force and the sound of her presence made the two split apart. The three of them stared at each other Chad and Sharpay now at opposite ends of the hall with more than necessary space between them.

"The cab is here?" she said as her eyes bounced back from Sharpay who was flushed and out of breath to Chad who was eyeing her with annoyance.

"Look," Sharpay said walking towards her and crossing her arms defensively, "We were just talking, there is nothing going on." She said making it a point to grab Gabriella wrist. "Just leave it alone. You wouldn't understand." She added in a low voice before walking past and leaving both Gabriella and Chad in the hallway.

Gabriella didn't say anything; her heart was pounding in her chest as Chad continued to stare at her. She could feel her body begin to shake and her legs almost giving out on her. She was frozen in fear, not sure if she should follow Sharpay out the door or wait for Chad to leave first.

"Whatever," Chad mumbled as he walked past her and out the door leaving Gabriella to herself as she brushed her wavy hair back behind her ears and tugged on her blue v neck top.

Martha came running into the hall holding the door open. "Come on girly we're waiting on you."

Gabriella nodded and followed as Martha led them out of the building and down into the cab where she was squashed between Martha and Taylor. Sharpay was talking about Taylor helping her Lemon juice her hair later in the week, Gabriella eyes shifted to Chad who was still staring at her and she shifted uncomfortably.

"You alright?" Martha whispered in her ear.

Gabriella bit her lip as she looked over to Martha in an attempt to avoid the eye contact Chad was making and she nodded. "I'm fine."

When they arrived at Hell Boyz their group dispersed as Sharpay Taylor and Chad went to the bar and Gabriella and Martha went to claim a pool table.

"What is up with you?" Martha asked looking in her direction. "And don't tell me your fine."

Gabriella looked back at the bar where the three stood attempting to catch the bar tenders attention. "I think I saw something I shouldn't have?"

"Like?" Martha said raising her brow and plucking the triangle from the slot at the end of the pool table.

"Like Sharpay and Chad, making out?" she whispered as she leaned over the table.

Martha looked back over at the bar where the others were. "And that's a problem because?"

"Sharpay isn't Taylor." Gabriella added as she pulled out a few balls from slot and rolled them over to Martha.

"Taylor's your roommate right?"

Gabriella nodded.

"Sweet baby Jesus." Martha said leaning her weight over to the left. They were quite for a bit until Martha spoke again. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Gabriella said looking back at Sharpay who was looking over at them. "She told me I wouldn't understand."

"Figures," Martha said arranging the balls.

"Maybe I don't?" Gabriella said a little more annoyed with this guess game then she should be.

Martha let out a sigh and shook her head as she glanced over at Sharpay who was staring back at her with disapproval. "What is there to understand she's garage for your roommate pink Cadillac. End of point."

"What?" Gabriella shrieked. "What am I going to do?" Gabriella asked as she placed more balls on the table.

"I suggest you keep a lid on it for tonight and see what happens." Martha said quickly as the three began to walk over.

"How?" Gabriella said in a low rushed and panicked tone.

"Don't think about it," Martha put the eight ball in the middle and adjusted the triangle on the table. "They're coming."

Gabriella closed her eyes tightly as she took a deep breath before the sound of ice cubes clinking against glass sounded by her ear. "We got you a roman coke to celebrate." Sharpay said.

Gabriella opened her eyes and took the drink forced her best smile as she murmured a thank you.

"Got one for you too." Sharpay said as she turned towards Martha and Chad handed one to her.

"Thanks." Martha said with caution as she took the drink.

Gabriella placed the drink down on the table nearby and smiled politely. "So you guys want to play teams or winner takes next?"

Martha huffed. "As long as no one cheats,"

Chad's eyes zeroed in on Gabriella and she could feel his hot glare on her as she directed a warning to Martha who smirked in amusement.

On a rock, paper, scissors bet Taylor and Martha were on one team while Gabriella and Chad were on another. Gabriella suddenly wished she wasn't wearing a v neck, she wished she wasn't in a dimly lit bar and mostly she wished Chad didn't scare the living day lights out of her. Because she was nervous and less attentive her game was off and by off she scratched almost every time she took a turn. Chad body language was vibrating off and hitting her with each ripple of under the breath slur or direct curse. Needing a break e excused herself once the first game was over.

Once she was in the bathroom she let the door close behind her and she let out a breath. This was a bad idea; it was a really bad idea to come to a bar, to be here with no medication, to be here at all! Gabriella let out another breath and let out a small sob before slapping her own hand over her mouth to block out the sound.

Taylor sat on the bar stool watching as Martha and Chad talked about Standford. "Gabriella's acting funny?" Taylor said looking over at Sharpay who was across the small table between them.

"She was arguing with Chad earlier." Sharpay said looking down at the ground with a frown. "Chad was really upset about something she said."

"What did she say?" Taylor said looking over at Sharpay with curiosity. What could they possibly be arguing about? What did they even have in common?

"I don't know he wouldn't say," Sharpay said looking up and finding Chad looking back at the bathroom where Gabriella disappeared too. A pinch of jealously and annoyance seeped into her blood stream. "You know, a situation like hers is funny." She said off collar with a shrug. "She doesn't get along with girls much?"

"What do you mean?" said bringing up her drink to her lips.

"She kind of friendly," Sharpay said bringing her drink to her lips she took a swig. "Like the slutty kind?"

"Gabriella?" Taylor said with a little disbelief.

"Hey she left her last school because of a torrid sex scandal." Sharpay said keeping an eye on Martha who setting up for another round of pool at this point.

"Get out," Taylor mumbled in a low voice.

"Yeah, apparently one of the guys took advances a little too far." Sharpay said with a wince.

"Oh my god." Taylor gasp as she covered her mouth.

"The girl gets around." Sharpay said sipping on her drink. "I mean think about it, first Troy, now Chad?" Sharpay said leaning a little more on the table between them.

Taylor snapped her attention to Sharpay almost immediately. "You don't think she's the one he's been cheating on me with do you?" she said in harsh whisper.

Just then Chad took off for the bathrooms in the back and Sharpay nudged her chin in his direction as Taylor followed. "I don't know Tay but, it doesn't look right, does it?"

Taylor lifted her drink to her lips and arched herself downing the entire drink and then getting up as well. "I need another drink."


	16. Chapter 16

Gabriella pulled herself together and took three deep breaths as she settled. On the count of three she made her way to the door only to watch it swing open and Chad step in. She became still as his eyes narrowed at her. "You alright?"

"I'm fine." She said in squeak, panic was settling in.

Noting no one else in the bathroom he let the door close behind him. "Are you going to tell Taylor about what happen earlier?" he said shoving his hand in his pockets.

Awareness of fear, Gabriella let out a breath. She was aware she was afraid of Chad because one he was a man and two because he had her cornered. Gabriella bit her lip and shook her head. "No," she said.

"Why not?" he asked,

Playing with time, Gabriella put her focus into him rather than getting past him and out the door. "I'm not sure she's going to be too happy with me if I do."

"So then that's it." Chad said with a raised brow. "You're just going to let it go?"

Practicing generosity, if she just gave him what he wanted, he might let her leave.

"Let what go?" The sound of Taylor's voice made them both jump. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing," Chad and Gabriella said in unison.

"Nothing my black ass, are you fucking her?" she said leaning hard to push Chad against the bathroom stall.

"What?" Chad panicked and his voice cracked. "Baby what are you talking about?"

"Why are you in here Chad?" Taylor said shoving his head with her hand. "Is it her?" Taylor asked rising a hand to point to Gabriella.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" Chad said backing up a little. "But you need to chill."

"Don't you tell me to chill!" She said smacking the side of his head.

"Alright," Gabriella said bringing her hands up as calmly as she could manage. "Let's just take a deep breath,"

"Shut up Tramp," Taylor barked as she looked back at Chad. "Why did you follow her in here?"

"I'm leaving," Gabriella said letting out a breath and making her way for the door.

"Hold on," Taylor grabbed Gabriella by the arm and Gabriella stopped abruptly.

"Don't touch me." Gabriella said under her breath but audible. Pulling her arm free she continued to walk out the door and into the bar area. Her focus set for the front door everything else blurring out around her leaving behind the rushing sound of blood to her ears.

The door flew open behind her and Taylor came out furious. "Who do you think you are?" Taylor Yanked on Gabriella's arm to stop her but in two quick moves Gabriella reached for a taser from her back pocket and bringing it up to Taylor neck. "I said don't touch me,"

The bar when quite as everyone now turned their attention to Gabriella and Taylor. Chad, now behind Taylor and reaching around to bring Taylor behind him, stared down at the black device with caution. "She has a taser," he murmured as he took a few steps back.

The bartender was quickly at their side "Miss," The bar tender said sternly. "This place as a low tolerance for violence," reaching for the phone he watched as Gabriella refused to move.

Gabriella started to shake as she kept the taser and pointed at her attacker. "Don't touch me." she repeated. He was laughing at her mocking her attempt at bravery. "Stop it." She said between clenched teeth. Her hand jerked and everyone around her shifted as they took a step back.

"I'm sorry," Taylor said in a low voice.

"It's alright," Troy's voice sounded as he came to Gabriella side and looking around at all parties involved then back at Gabriella, "Hey," he said slowly.

She didn't move her focus. It was as if she was looking at someone only she could see. "Don't," she whispered.

"I'm going to call the cops." The guy behind the bar said.

"Just wait a second." Troy came closer to her side motioning to the bartender that everything was alright, "I'm right here, no one is going to touch you," Troy stood close but careful not to graze against her as he brought his hand over the one holding the taser. "Do you trust me?"

Gabriella's eyes shifted from what she was looking at to Troy and something flickered inside, as if in recognition of how close he was. Then there was a melting effect in her brown eyes and Troy could help but gasp as he saw her in such vulnerability.

"Do you trust me?" He repeated softer.

Slowly she nodded, and he dropped his hand slowly so there hands touched and he carefully brought her hand down using his other hand to take the taser and he shoved it into his back pocket.

Troy let out a breath and he raised a brow to Taylor and Chad in warning. "I advise that this argument is over for the moment." he said placing a soft and gentle hand on Gabriella shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Gabriella said again looking up at Taylor and Chad.

"It's not your fault." Martha came back taking Gabriella's hand, "Let's go outside," she said with a soft smile. "Get some fresh air."

Gabriella turned slowly and began to walk out of the bar but letting her go out ear shot Martha turned around and raised a brow at Taylor, "Before accusing anyone I suggest you take a long hard look at that blondie."

Troy eyes landed hard on Sharpay as she stood there with her arms crossed. Martha passed by his glaze and he his eyes shifted to Gabriella who was walking outside. People had turned around and they were going back to their conversations and Troy placed his hands on his hips. "Someone explain. Now."

"It's you isn't it." Taylor said staring at Sharpay, a frown came over her features as she let a tear roll down her face.

"Taylor we can explain," Chad said with a sigh.

"What's going on?" Troy said looking at Chad. "Explain what?"

"Why my boyfriend and your ex-girlfriend are screwing behind our back." Taylor said bringing a hand to her wipe her cheek.

"Tay," Chad went to place a hand on her shoulder and she blocked him, "Just don't." she said turning to face him. "We're done." She said with annoyance as she walked away through the crowd shoving Sharpay in the shoulder as she made her way out.

Troy eyes looked at Chad then at Sharpay. His stomach flipped and his insides began to twist. "You told me there was no one else," he said looking over at Sharpay.

When she didn't respond he turned to Chad. "And you're my best friend."

"Dude," Chad brought both hands to the back of his neck. "It just happened, we didn't mean to-"

"What in the process of being my best friend you happen to trip and my girlfriend's vagina broke your fall?" He said bring a hand up to his temple.

"Troy," Sharpay said in low voice.

"You have a lot of nerve, you know that?" Troy said instantly turning towards her. "You threaten me for having a slight interest in someone else and you're fucking him behind my back?" Troy looked back at Chad who had shoved his hands in his pocket. "You both deserve each other." He said with a frown as he turned to leave. "Go to hell."

Troy turned to leave his face greeted with the cool air of the night, turning to the right Taylor was leaning on the side of the building her shoulder shaking with sobs, on his left Gabriella and her friend were standing there quietly staring out into the street. With a sigh he turned right and came to Taylor's side placing a hand on her shoulder. "I seems like asking if your okay is the stupidest question in the world right now," he asked as he watched her wipe tears from her face.

"She was my friend Troy, how could she do this to me?" Taylor said between sobs.

"I know," Troy said pulling her to him for a hug.

Martha watched as Troy held Taylor close. "You know we have to work on your vocabulary." She said nudging Gabriella, "You said he was fat."

Gabriella looked up at Martha in disbelief. "I said nothing of the sort."

"Healthy?" Martha said with a raised brow. "You said he was healthy."

Gabriella looked over at Troy, "Well he is," she said with a shrug.

"No that man is a can of Campbell's chicken soup cause he is mmm-mmm good." She said with a giggle as Gabriella let out a hushing noise as she looked over at Troy and Taylor.

"What if he heard you?" Gabriella said looking back at Martha and nudging her.

"What if he had?" Martha said with a shrug, "He's hot, and guy like that, he knows it."

Gabriella bit her lip as she looked back at Troy and Taylor. "I wonder what's going to happen now?" she said looking back at Martha.

"I think you and your room mate are going to be really close." Martha said with a sigh.

"How do you figure?" Gabriella said looking over at Martha.

"Because now you both have trust issues," She said nonchalantly.

Gabriella rolled her eyes as she leaned back against the brick of the building looking out into the street and thinking about his blue eyes looking back at her and how they gave her Goosebumps. How just a simple touch of his hand and she was almost a light weight drunk off the sensations he sent zinging through her.

Troy came up to them with Taylor who was still sniffling following behind. "If we can all get along, I can give you girls a ride back to campus." Troy said with a sigh.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

Troy nodded and pulled his keys out of his pocket, "I'm parked around the corner." he said as he begun to walk.

Taylor came alongside Gabriella and took a deep breath. "I am so sorry, I should have known Sharpay was messing with my head." she said crossing her arms. "If you want I can find somewhere else to stay for a while until we can switch rooms or something?" she said between sniffles. Even in the street lights Gabriella could see her makeup smeared and her eyes puffy. She instantly felt horrible for her.

"You don't have to go anywhere," Gabriella said with a small shrug, "It's alright, like I said before, we're in this together."

Taylor smiled and turned to offer her a hug and Gabriella welcomed it, the feel of human contact for once not making her feel cold or distant but this time warm and close.

Up ahead Troy looked over at Martha, "Troy," he said holding out his hand. "You go to school around here?"

Martha smiled as she took his hand. "No, I go to Stanford. I'm Gabi's old roommate."

Troy nodded, "I see,"

They walked in quite for a while the murmurs of Taylor and Gabriella talking behind them. They were saying something about the need to go shopping to cleanse the room of all Sharpay and Chad essence. Sharpay and Chad. Chad and Sharpay. Troy twisted the idea of it all around in his head, either way he thought about he was still left with a bitter taste of betrayal. It was going to take some serious time to get other this. Troy shoved his hands in his pockets and let out a breath, "So how long was she with this guy?"

Martha narrowed her eyes as she looked at him in confusion. "Who? And what guy?" Martha raised a brow. "Salt and Pepper back there?"

"No." Troy said pushing the image further from his mind. After a moment Troy shrugged "The ex-boyfriend, the one who used her for a punching bag?" he said motioning towards Gabriella.

Martha looked back at Gabriella who was smiling at something Taylor said. "Is that what you think happened to her?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense," Troy said looking out at some of the cars passing by. "Someone hurt her, didn't they?"

Martha crossed her arms over her chest as she looked down at the ground, "yeah, someone her hurt,"

Troy watched Martha avoid his glaze. "Did he at least get what was coming to him?" Troy said as a fear settled in the pit of his stomach.

"He got 10 years, killed himself before he ever served a day of it." Martha said looking up at him. "He got to chicken out and what does she get?" Martha bit her lip. "None of it is fair."

"What happened?" Troy asked feeling his own throat get a little tighter.

"It's not my place to say." Martha said as they came to a stop in front of his car, "you're going to have to ask her that yourself.

Troy nodded as Gabriella and Taylor who were still talking came to a stop behind them as well.

When they got back to the dorm Martha suggested they watch Pretty Woman for a pick me up. Just as they were dividing Troy's hand reached out and to lightly touch Gabriella's catching her attention and motioning for to stay behind for a moment. When they were alone he eyes softened, "I believe this is yours?" he said pulling the taser from his back pocket. "You know technically I shouldn't be giving this back to you, seeing as how you just tried to use it on your roommate." Troy let out a sigh as he looked at it in his hands. "But … for you I'll make an exception." He said softer as he handed it to her.

"Thanks," Gabriella said taking it from him and putting it in her back pocket.

"You alright?" Troy said shifting his eyes to watch as Taylor and Martha entered the room closing the door behind them.

"I'm fine," Gabriella said with a small smile as she looked down at their hands, his hand held hers lightly loosely she could pull away at any moment."Thanks for everything, back there at the bar," she said not meeting his eyes.

Using his free hand he titled her face up to meet his and he brushed some hair out of her face tucking it behind her ear, enjoying the ability to finally touch her. To confirm that her hair was as silky soft as it looked and her skin as warm and electric as he thought it to be. His blue eyes glazed into her brown eyes and his eyes suddenly on spotted a faint scar by her left eye. His hand came up gently allowing his finger to touch the scar lightly. "What happened to you?" he asked in a soft voice.

Pulling away from him she bit her bottom lip as she lifted her hands to brush her hair back behind her ears. "I really don't want to talk about it," she said looking up again. "I better get back to Taylor and Martha," she said beginning to walk backwards and away from him.

"Wait," he said letting his hand fall to his sides as he took a step forward. "Remember where we are,"

Gabriella eyes narrowed as she stared at him questioningly. "What?"

"It seems like every time we take a step forward you take two back," he said coming up to her slowly. "I don't know, but I'd just really like to be the guy that doesn't make you flinch every time I come to close." He said bringing his left hand up slowly to touch her cheek and brush it with the pad of his thumb. "Just," he said paused as if he had so much more to say, and there was. There was so much he wanted to say, so many ways he wanted to say it but at the moment he couldn't think of anything else but the feel of her warm skin under his thumb. "Remember where we are." He finished his blue eyes bouncing from side to side taking her in as if she would disappear at any moment.

Gabriella nodded as she reached her hand up to take his. "Why do you care so much?"

"I already told you," Troy said with a smirk. "Those big brown eyes of yours are begging me too."

Gabriella felt a smile tug at her lips as she nodded. "I'll remember." She said before pulling away from him and making her way to her room before pausing to look back at him once more with a smile on her lips.


	17. Chapter 17

"When was the last time you had a consensual sexual relationship?" The doctor asked as she studied Gabriella's reaction to the question.

"I can't remember?"Gabriella said after a moment's pause. The room was quite as they stared past each other. Gabriella let out a sigh as she leaned back in the chair. "It's like everything I remember about sex has been replaced."

"Have you experienced Body Recall?"

"I'm not sure I know what that is?" Gabriella said crossing her arms.

"When you first came to me we talked about what you could remember. While your mind remembers a good deal of the assault, you're having problems with memory gaps filtering out your traumatic experiences." She said pointing to her head, "However you're body will remember. The body's memory is a very effective trigger. Some common reactions you might experience are Fear, especially fear of pain, darkness, or suffocation. You might get the sudden need to stop foreplay or intercourse for no "apparent" reason. You might even experience nausea or vomiting before, during, or after sexual activity."

Gabriella nodded her head slowly as she listened carefully.

"This is why you have Panic attacks at sudden triggers, Nightmares, unexplained waking in the night, being startled easily by the sudden sound or appearance of another person." The doctor motioned with her hand as she continued. "All these things are just the tip of the ice berg to what you have waiting in store."

Gabriella shifted in her seat "What are some other things I might be experiencing?" She asked not sure she wanted the answer as she reached a hand up to tuck her hair back.

The doctor paused for a moment, almost as if she wasn't sure she should say, then continued. "You could Cry or have other emotional outbursts before, during, or after sexual activity you could experience dissociating, going out of the body or away from the present time's activities. You might want to shower or bathe often, especially after sexual activity."

Gabriella shoulders felt a stiff. "Do you think it's possible for me to ever be in a sexual relationship again?" She said with a frown as she turned her attention to fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

"I think that with time and the right partner you could learn to enjoy some kind sexual relationship."

"Some kind?" Gabriella said with tightness in her throat. "It'll never be the same as it was before will it?" she paused to take a deep breath. "I haven't been on a date in two years; I haven't been able to let a man touch me until last weekend." Gabriella reached both her hands up to tuck hair behind her ears. "I see other girls on campus having dinner with their boyfriends, studying together, doing laundry together." Gabriella paused again not sure what she wanted or where she was going with this. "What if I can't get past all this and I never get to experience falling in love, or doing my laundry with someone?" she said wiping a small tear from her cheek. "I mean how do I have that conversation with someone else?"

The doctor waited a moment before she let out a small sound. "In a new or casual relationship you may choose to say nothing about the rape, or you may simply say you've had something upsetting happen and you're not ready to talk about it. Your desire to set limits is healthy, and there is no need to make excuses for yourself or your behavior." The doctor leaned forward to place a hand on Gabriella knee. "You can't think like that Gabriella. You can get past this, you can a normal life with a life partner and children." She said giving Gabriella's knee a gentle rub. "These things will take time but I promise you with support and love you can get past this and enjoy your life."

Gabriella nodded and she wiped her cheek again. They didn't talk for a while, they sat in silence and Gabriella felt her body relaxing a little from the buildup of their conversation. Gabriella eyes wondered over to the stain in the rug. She briefly wondered if the doctor ever had her office cleaned. If maybe right now there was a janitor somewhere in a closet mixing chemicals and declaring war on the stain in her carpet.

"Have you thought about your sexual identity before this session?" the doctor said at last.

Gabriella furrowed her brow and looked back at the doctor.

"Do you wonder about your sexuality?"The doctor sat up a little straighter.

"I like men." Gabriella said raising an eyebrow. "Being raped doesn't convert you, it just makes you cautious."

"Well," the doctor said putting a hand up to slow thing down. "sometimes woman believe that another woman is safer, in the way that there isn't any penetration." The doctor let out a breath and tilted her head to the left as she watched Gabriella bite on her bottom lip. "Gabriella, human sexuality is the capacity to have erotic experiences and responses." She said bring her pen between her hands and holding it with her palms. "Human sexuality can also refer to the way someone is sexually attracted to another person - which is determined by their sexual orientation - whether it is to the opposite sex as in heterosexuality, to the same sex as in homosexuality, having both these tendencies as in bisexuality, or not being attracted to anyone in a sexual manner which is asexuality." There was a brief pause as they stared at each other. "Would consider yourself an asexual?"

Gabriella thought about it for a moment before answering the question, she had never heard the word sex said so many times in such a short time span."No." Gabriella said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"When was the last time you were physically aroused?"

Gabriella pulled her jacket closed a little to conceal herself as if it would somehow deflect the question. Gabriella thought about Troy, just yesterday she saw him from the window in the Lancer Writing Center. He was in the grass playing catch with Ryan and another dark skin boy she'd yet to meet. She could feel a faint blush come to her cheeks as she remembered biting her lip and watching him remove his shirt and causally toss it to the side. His body reflected a nice gleam of sweat as he brought his arms up and jumped for the ball. Muscles flexed all over as he brought the ball into his chest. She'd give anything to be that ball, to be incased in his arms and protected. Sexually she couldn't recall being aroused but she recalled wanting that comfort and protection. "I don't know," Her eyes drifted to the stain in the carpet.

The doctor sat up and reached for a brochure she had on the table. "I can tell you that many, many people are simply not prepared to manage in an intimate physical or sexual relationship environment after they have been raped or assaulted." The doctor leaned forward as she opened the brochure. "Some people will go to extreme measures to "prove" that the incident didn't effect them too much- and as a result will go to exceptional lengths to assert a promiscuous attitude. Others will simply back away from contact, emotionally or physically- sort of a "grin and bear it" or "run and hide" approach."

"I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone." Gabriella said sitting up a little straighter.

"I know," the Doctor said handing her the brochure.

Gabriella took the brochure the mixtures of red and purple blended together and she looked at the title on the cover. Everyone looked so happy on the cover, it was almost amazing to think that any of these people could have problems. Her thumb grazed the words on the cover YSP. The Youth Service Project, a trauma rehabilitation center for youth.

"Many studies have shown that the hardest relationships to maintain after abuse or assault are the most intimate ones. The victim has a great deal to handle in learning to trust others and feel safe again." The doctor said in a low voice.

"I don't want to go to a group." Gabriella said looking away from the brochure.

"People in your position feel betrayed, worthless, frightened to open up to friends and family, self- judgemental or self-critical, even suicidal." The doctor said clasping her hands together.

Her eyes snapped back to the doctor. "I am not suicidal."

"This facility offers a clinical service." The doctor said leaning back in her chair. "They hand out contraceptions as well as offer a counseling service with a nurse on staff at all times."

"Do you think I'm ready for all this?" Gabriella said placing the brochure to the side.

"It is important that you feel control over the amount and kind of sexual contact that you have. This control can be established by talking to your partner about your feelings." The doctor said with a smile. "Some women choose not to talk to their partner about the assault or sex. This choice is alright if it does not interfere with your recovery from the assault. However, in most cases, it is important to try to take some steps toward communicating even if it's hard to do." The doctor pointed at the brochure, "in that brochure are some common reactions with specific suggestions on how to talk to your partner. You may find that your comfort level changes - one day you may want to have sex and the next day hugging may feel threatening. Or you may want to stick to suggestions. I suggest that you observe and honor your feelings. All of these responses are perfectly normal."

Gabriella picked up the brochure again. "How do I know what my feelings are?"

"Because you are the only one who knows what feels comfortable." The doctor replied. "You might not want any physical contact and in that case you have to tell your partner about these feelings and suggest other ways to be together that show caring like cooking meals, taking walks, going to movies, etc." the doctor leaned back in her chair.  
"You may want to spend time talking to your partner about what is bothering you, and what you feel good about from day to day. Emphasize the verbal contact."

Gabriella was hesitant, "What if what I want isn't sexual?"

The doctor tilted her head a little to the right "Well, if you don't want sexual contact, but do want other forms of physical contact. You should also tell your partner about these feelings and suggest other ways to be physical." She said "remember it is okay to say 'I'm not feeling like having sex these days, but I would like to have physical contact with you.' Then offer up the things you do want and feel comfortable with like massages, hugs, kisses, holding hands, and sitting close when we are watching TV or reading on the couch."

Gabriella nodded as she looked down at the brochure.

"Gabriella?" Gabriella looked back up to see the doctor smiling knowingly. "Don't be afraid to give Troy a chance."


	18. Chapter 18

Gabriella shifted in her seat as she read along with the words on paper. She'd been reading this book for a while trying to finish the majority of her homework early enough so that she could go to the bonfire later with Taylor who been on a drinking binge lately. Shifting again in her seat she let out a sigh at her discomfort. She'd been at the library all morning. Her shift wasn't until another hour.

"Those chairs are very ideal for reading at long periods of time." Troy voice made look up from the book.

"Troy," she said in a breathless whisper. "What are you doing back here?" she said sitting up in her chair as she looked around. There was no one else around, she enjoyed the basement it was where all the encyclopedia and maps where and as a result no one else.

"You're not the only one who knows about this little slice of paradise." Troy said dropping his bag in on the small table beside hers. "Figured I'd come down here to read through my notes on the Haemophilus influenzae."

Gabriella furrowed her brow as she looked at his note book. "And what is that exactly?"

Troy opened his note book and read aloud from the page "a bacterial species found in the respiratory tract that causes acute respiratory infections, including pneumonia, acute conjunctivitis, otitis, and purulent meningitis in children, in adults in whom it contributes to sinusitis and chronic bronchitis. Originally considered to be the cause of influenza, it is the type species of the genus Haemophilus." Troy looked up and cringed in fear, "No idea what all that is yet."

"What are you studying for?" she asked sitting up a little more.

"Pre-med, you?" he asked looking back down at his book.

"Pre-law. What kind of doctor do you want to be?" Gabriella asked with curiously.

"Family doctor," Troy said looking up at her with a small smile. "My dad's a pediatrician. My mom's a dentist." His eyes seemed to soften at the mention of his parents. "What about you?"

Gabriella shifted a little, "My dad works for apple. My mom kind of works in networking, not really sure what she does." Gabriella said wrinkling her nose a bit.

"So why pre-law?" Troy said leaning back in his chair.

Gabriella became quiet as she looked off to the side. She wanted revenge, she wanted a chance to put men who raped little girls behind bars or put to death or the satisfaction that what happened to her wouldn't happen to someone else."I don't know." She said instead.

Troy's eyes looked back at his notes then back up at her, he wanted to say more, and he wanted to ask another question. Instead he nodded and turned back to his notebook. He knew better than to push, he rather just sit here and share her company than scare her off.

Gabriella let out a breath as she sat up a little straighter and tucked her hair behind her ears looking around the empty space then back at Troy who was settling into his chair and putting his feet up on the table. Leaning back in her own chair she looked down at her book then back up at him as his eyes began reading along on the page. His lips moved slowly almost as if he was reading aloud to himself with no sound.

Troy eyes glanced up and he caught her quickly looking back down at her book. A small smile came to his lips as he kept his eyes on her waiting for her to look back up. Her lips parted and then closed and his eyes zeroed in on the movement watching as she began to chew on that bottom lip of hers. He had his own ideas about what he could do with that bottom lip.

Gabriella looked up and Troy's blue eyes were watching her intently. So intently that she jerked a little. "Hey," she said softly and a little awkwardly.

"Hey," he repeated.

"It's really quite down here," Gabriella said looking around.

"Yeah," he said raising a brow. "You know people come down here and sometime hide in the stacks to make out." He said with a smirk.

Gabriella attention shifted as she looked towards the back rows of shelves he was referring to. "I guess," she said looking back over at him and watching as his eyes drifted slowly back over to her.

"You ever think about things like that?" he asked with a smile on his lips.

Shocked by the question she looked back at the stacks then back at him. Her mind began to create images of his hands on her body. The idea actually shocked her and feeling inside began to stir as she quickly looked away. "No." she said with polite smile as she looked back down at her book.

"You're lying." Troy said leaning forward in his chair. Gabriella's eyes came back up to meet his. "You can't possibly tell me that the idea of going back there with someone you find attractive didn't cross your mind right now."

"I wouldn't know who to think about," she said tucking a strand of hair back as she looked back at her book.

"Bullshit." He teased as he looked back at his notebook. "That look on your face said you knew exactly who." He kept his eye on his note book rereading the same line for 2nd time as he tried not to look up again.

Carefully she looked up at him to find him engrossed in his reading. Swiftly Gabriella looked back over at the stacks; the thought of going back there was all too tempting. Was she ready for something like that? How would it feel? His hands on her? His lips? His body against hers? "Your right," Gabriella with a pause, "I do know who?" she said biting on her lip.

Troy looked up at her with raised brows and his eyes fell to her lip where her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth. "And who is that?" he said forcing his eyes back up to meet her eye to eye. He could feel his own heart beat pounding as he watched her staring at him with uncertainty.

Gabriella was quite as she watched him watching her. A smile came over her lips. "George Clooney."

Troy let out breath as he fell back into his chair with exasperation. "You're killing me Montez!" he said as he covered his eyes with his left hands.

Gabriella giggled as she leaned back in her chair, looking back at her book she nestled into the chair and went back to reading.

Troy smiled as he watched her smile, his insides warm and a pinch forming in his heart for her. The last week had been torture, dodging Sharpay and Chad left and right. Watching Taylor drink and Gabriella being there for her in the best way she knew how which resulted in Troy driving them home twice. The last week had been full of tension that in this moment of just watching her smile and turn a page he felt completely at peace.

Gabriella looked up and her smile drifted a little, "What?"

Troy shook his head. "Just admiring the view." He said giving her wink before looking back down at the book.

Gabriella smiled as a faint blush crept onto her cheeks and she turned her eyes back to the book. Suddenly Troy shifted and her attention drifted to him again to see him getting up.

"Got to go get book, don't go getting any ideas Montez," he said playfully as he walked over towards the stacks carrying a pen and pad, leaving her behind.

Gabriella watched as he disappeared into one of the rows. Her eyes shut as she took a deep breath, contemplating her own bravery. After a moment she counted to ten and looked back at the stacks. He still wasn't back. Don't be afraid. Isn't that what the doctor said? Letting out a sigh curiosity got the better of her and she got up slowly making her way towards the stacks, not sure what she was doing.

Troy opened the book and found the page he was looking for, placing the pad down he copied the needed text. Engrossed in the subject matter and pictures provide he winced as he tilted the book to see the infection at a better angle. "Oh that's just gross." The sound of the floor creaking behind him made his ears perk up.

"Troy?"

Craning his neck he saw Gabriella standing a few steps away. "What's up?" he said in nod as he shut the book and placed it back on the shelf, keeping the pad in his hands.

For about two beats she didn't say anything and he had to look back at her to make sure he didn't image her there and that's when she spoke. "Do you want to kiss me?" she asked.

The question threw him off and he turned around to getting a better view of her expression. "Are you serious?" Troy said with a nervous laugh.

She nodded.

Troy looked around and then back at her, "This is a little weird?" he said still a little off guard.

"You don't have too," Gabriella said with shrug, "You know what forget I mentioned it, we shouldn't do this anyway," she said turning to leave.

Troy's hand reached for her hand and he gave her soft gentle tug that pulled her back towards him. His breath caught as the stunned scared expression crossed her face. "I'm going to count to ten," he said in low voice. "If you don't want me to kiss you just take a step back." He said slowly. "I'll stop."

Gabriella didn't say anything, her heart beat going fifty miles a minute. Sweat covered her leaving her cool from the breeze over head made by the air conditioner. Quickly she bit down on her bottom lip then released it in excitement. She watched as he took a deep breath and begun to count.

"One ,… two,… three," he said coming a little closer to her. They bodied seemed to almost touch without touching giving him the shakes in his knees. "Four,…five…six," his hand swept up from her side and lifted her chin up so he could see her eyes watching him with vulnerability. Time seemed to stop between them as they stared at each other. His voice dropped below a whisper. "Seven,…eight,… nine," he began to come close to her his lips hovering over hers as their breathing quickened. Closing his eyes he inhaled her scent his lips were bringing to shake. "Nine and a half,"

"Ten." Gabriella voice was barely a whisper but he heard it. His lips came down softly and he felt a burst inside him from the gentle feel of her lips against his. Her body was still his other hand dropping the pen and pad as he brought his hand slowly to her face cupping it with as little actual touch as possible. His lips parted a little and he took in her bottom lip giving it the tiniest nibble. Tasting her warmth and feeling the softness of her lips his own breath hitched and he could tell if she was shaking or if she was pulling away but she tugged and in that insistent no matter how much he didn't want to. He let go and pulled back.

Gabriella felt her body violently begin to shake and she let out a small sob. Her knees began to buckle.

Troy in shock from her reaction leaned forward catching her before she went down. "Gabriella?" he said holding her up, "What's wrong, did I hurt you?"

She let out another sob as she scrambled to position herself against him before either of them knew it they were sitting on the ground as she cried into his shirt and her held her. His hold on her was steady as she had fistfuls of his shirt in her hands and her face buried in the arch of his neck. Troy sat their quietly once in a while brushing her hair out of her way and just letting her have as much time as she needed.


	19. Chapter 19

Troy lifted his red solo cup to his lips as he let the soda hit his taste buds. His chest had a sticker taped across it that labeled him as tonight's designated driver. Bringing the cup down he watch Chad and Sharpay sit side by side on a long mumbling things to each other and he felt his hand crush his empty cup in anger. Watching them walk around openly hurt in a way he hadn't expected it to. Not that he still had feelings for Sharpay but Chad was his best friend. He never would have done that to him. Shooting his cup and making it into the trash can he we walked away and over to Zeke who was wearing a hawaiian shirt with swimming trunks. Zeke was also part of the AV group on campus and since Troy had volunteered his shift at the game room for driver duty he brought Zeke in on the sound equipment.

"What are we looking at tonight?" Troy asked looking for a distraction.

"We are looking at some booty shaking tunes." He said with a smile. "Gonna serenade the pants off some women tonight,"

Troy let out huff. "Yeah, good luck with that." He said as he took a seat next to him. "Tonight sucks."

"Why is that?" Zeke said turning around to see Chad and Sharpay sitting in on one of the logs in a distance. "Yeah, love is a funny thing." Zeke said as he plugged in another wire to the speaker.

"Love can kiss my ass." Troy said looking over at the water and some people laughing and splashing around. Early before he could get an explanation out of Gabriella she ran off to work. Leaving him down in the basement just as lost as he'd been when he first met her. "I don't get women." He said giving Zeke a sideways glance.

"We're not meant to dude." Zeke clasped his hands together? "Any first request?" Zeke asked as he doubled checked his work.

"Yeah go anything in the 'You backstabbing Prick' Genre?" Troy said as he leaned back in his hair and looked at the stacks of Cd's Zeke brought for the night.

"Yeah," Zeke picked up a Lil Wayne CD. "How To Love it is." He said with a chuckle as he began to set it up.

Troy leaned back as the music started pumping through the speakers except for the one by his foot. Troy leaned down to hear better then looked back up at Zeke who was adjusting levels. "Sound like you forgot this one."

"Aw Man," Zeke walked back over to the Van a few feet behind them to get more wire.

Troy let out a sigh as he looked at all the wires and cases for the speakers. Getting up he began helping out by packing up the extra equipment they would need anymore. Coming back up from under the table he looked up at stairs leading down to the beach area and his eyes zeroed in on a bright green top. Her hair was down loose curls cascading down her shoulders and shifting in the wind with every move. Her Green shirt hung off her shoulder as tiny pink strap he assumed was a bathing suit played peek-a-boo with an innocent but naughty appeal. His eyes keep dropping way beyond his control caressing every curve and inch of skin he could find. Her shorts came up about mid thigh and her legs, despite their few times in the sun were still as sun kissed as if they're been on the beach all morning long.

Gabriella descended from the stairs following Kelsi, Ryan, and Taylor, all of them in bright colors. Kelsi wore a bright pink bathing suit with an orange tang top, and Taylor in a bright Blue halter top swim suit and tight daisy dukes. Gabriella laughed as they reached to grab her hands and begun dancing in a circle.

"We're supposed to be the party train of colors!" Kelsi giggled as she reached out to grab Ryan who was wearing a yellow polo and red swimming trunks.

"I feel like my man hood is in question?" Ryan said as he wrapped an arm around Kelsi's waist.

"Never," Kelsi said with a husky tone as she looked up at him adoringly.

"Urg," Taylor said pulling Gabriella towards her. "Little Miss Sunshine is making me sick."

"She's only trying to help," Gabriella said with a shrug.

Taylor looked out onto the beach at all the faces and bodies running around. Her eyes landed on Chad and Sharpay, "Looks like they're letting anyone in these days." She said with a raised brow.

Gabriella frowned as her eyes landed on Troy who was staring at her, those blue eyes watching her intensely. Suddenly self conscious about her appearance she adjusted her top and offered him a small nod of acknowledgement. Her skin was beginning to boil under his glaze, she could feel the feeling pulling at her, she wanted to go over to him, and she wanted to feel his lips again.

"You alright?" Ryan said looking at both Taylor and Gabriella. Gabriella tore her eyes away from him and turned to Ryan.

"Yeah," Taylor said with shrug, "Let's go find some beer Gabi," Taylor pulled her by the hand and Gabriella followed sand kicking up under her flip flops.

"Taylor?" Gabriella called from behind her, "The beer is over there." Gabriella said watching they pasted the coolers.

"I know," Taylor stopped as they came in front the DJ table. "Hey Troy,"

"Hey," They caught him off guard. Stunned Troy looked from girl to girl. "Can I help you Ladies?"

"You designated driver tonight?" Taylor asked looking at the duck tape on his chest.

Troy looked down at his chest as well then back up. "Yeah, I am?" he said with a sigh.

"What have we got here, you checking out ladies without me?" The other boy from the day out on the lawn smiled as he held out a hand to Gabriella. She noted his other hand had a roll of wires in his other hand. "Hey my name is Zeke,"

Gabriella nodded and with a deep breath she took his hand and smiled as politely as she could mange. "Gabriella," she said with a small smile.

"So Troy?" Taylor said with a smile as she leaned on the table ensuring her breasts were highlighted. "Any good music?"

Troy narrowed his eyes at Taylor then at Gabriella who was avoiding his him. "Zeke's actually in charge of the music tonight?" Troy said off handedly as he kept his eyes on Gabriella. "I like your hair that way," he said pointing to her curls.

"Thank you," Gabriella said with a small grin as she tucked her hair behind her ears.

Troy smiled. "So Taylor, how have you been?" Troy said quite pleased with himself for Gabriella's reaction.

"Well my ex-best friend is still fucking my boyfriend so…" Taylor pretended to give it some thought. "I'd have to say I've been pretty bitter."

"Hell have no fury like a woman scorn." Zeke said admiring Taylor's assets.

"Want to save me a dance later?" she said with a wink.

Zeke smiled as his eyes looked down then back up. "It would be my pleasure,"

Uncomfortable with the entire situation Gabriella nudged Taylor, "Didn't you want to get a drink?"

Taylor nudged her back, "You're so right," she said with a smile. "I'll be right back."

Gabriella went to protest but before she knew it Taylor was gone and Gabriella was stuck with Zeke and Troy. After a moment of uncertainty from everyone Zeke smiled as he gave her a good long once over. "If beauty were time," he said with a smile, "you'd be eternity."

"Jeez, what is that?" Troy said raising a brow to Zeke, turning back to Gabriella he shook his head. "Never mind him he's just horny."

"And you aren't?" Zeke countered tossing his hands up before rolling his eyes and picking up a new CD to slide into the five disc changer. "You need some, just as much as I do."

"Of course," Troy said shoving his hands in his pockets a slight blush coming to his own check for the first time since she ever met him. "I just know how to keep it to myself." With a small smile he looked back at Gabriella who looked away to avoid his glaze. Brining a hand up to the back of his neck he let out a sigh "So how was work?"

Zeke lifted a hand to whack Troy in the back of the head. "Ask the girl to dance and leave that water cooler shit back at the dorm."

Gabriella giggled a little, and watched as Troy kind of stood there fumbling for something to say, "I love to." Gabriella said throwing him a life saver. Troy smiled and before she knew it he'd jumped over the table and was now standing in front of her.

"May I have this dance?"

"Yes," she said in low voice as the music shift to a slower song.

"Dog, you owe me!" Zeke said holding a hand to his heart. "I practically wrapped her up for you." With a chuckle he brought the music up a little higher.

Troy lead her out to a clearing, he was carefully to put his hands on her hips. "You should probably ignore him." Troy said with a smirk.

Gabriella rocked along with the music, "It's been a while since I've danced with a boy," she said letting out a shaky breath.

"I'm honored." Troy said as he wrapped his arm a little more around her waist.

Gabriella hesitated before she eased into his touch. Her heart beat sky rocketed and she couldn't feel her legs at all. Her insides shook and her lips had a small tremble to them. Nothing about this moment seemed real, in fact the only real thing about this moment was holding on to him. His own hands seemed to be shaking as well. "Are you nervous?" she asked looking up and meeting his blue eyes dead on.

"Hell yes," he said with a small chuckle. "Every time we get this close I'm never sure how it's going to end." He added as he took a deep breath. "You're not like other girls, and I'm not saying that I've been with many it's just I've been with a lot and," Troy shook his head a little and chuckled again. "That didn't sound right,"

Gabriella giggled a little as she listened closely to the shaky tremor on his voice and the way his eyes glazed over with a darker shade of blue. "Wow, what happen to all that confidence?" she asked with a smirk as they moved slowly.

Troy let out a laugh, "I beginning to think you stole it."

Gabriella let out a laugh as she looked around at people walking by or coming around to dance. "I'm not that confident."

"You shook Zeke's hand," Troy said raising his brows. "When I first met you I don't think you would have used a pen if I handed it to you."

Gabriella let a breath of her own and nodded. "I'm working on it."

They swayed in silence for a little as music played in the background. Their bodies slowly moved to the music together, and Troy's breath quicken every time she came closer. "You know the take home point about you is that I think I'm falling a little here."

Gabriella stilled as for a moment caught off guard by his confession. Her eyes drifted past him to Taylor who was standing off on the sidelines talking to some random guy. Then her eyes narrowed in on Sharpay and Chad watching them. Suddenly she was a lot more aware of people and her surroundings than she was ready for. "It's just a crush," Gabriella said taking a deep breath. "Trust me, I'm not really ready to date or for anything casual."

"You keep saying that," Troy said with a sigh, "Yet we keep getting into situations that make me want to kiss you."

Gabriella's eyes widen as she put her focus back on Troy. "Please don't,"

Troy eyes widen as well, "Ouch," he said coming to a standstill. Bringing his hand up, he made a circle in the air with his finger, "Can we rewind that?" he said letting out a nervous laugh and then meeting her eyes. "We need to talk about this."

"I'd really prefer if we didn't," Gabriella said with a sigh as she took two steps away from him. "Troy, you just don't understand."

"Gabriella," Troy said before she could get another word out. "I've done my best to give you that privacy you need, but I'm not that guy and I am never going to do what he did to you." Troy took a deep breath, "I'm not going any place, I hate to see you like this and No, I can't make it go away, but keeping it inside isn't going to fix what's wrong. I can't give you every answer that you need, but I wanna hear everything you wanna tell me." Troy lifted his arms. "At this point that's all I can offer you."

Gabriella bit her bottom lip as she looked around at the eyes drawing in at the commotion. At people who were standing around staring or at couples who were returning to their conversations. Gabriella let out a shaky breath, "I can't" she said with a shrug, "I wish I could but I can't."

"You know this thing between us really sucks you know that?" Troy said. "It sucks up one side and down the other; it sucks every freaking moment of suckage possible." Troy said working hard to keep his voice down.

"Then why?" Gabriella said extending her own arms, "Why do you keep bringing us back to this point?" Gabriella took a step closer. "This could suck a lot less for everyone if you left me alone."

"You know, for a smart girl, you can be very daft. Why do you think I came here or keep putting us in these predicaments, I do it because I like spending time with you!" Troy said taking a step closer. "And when you like someone proximity doesn't seem like a bad thing regardless of how they feel about you," Troy paused as he looked away from her. "Or don't as the case maybe." Before either one of them could move or say anything further Gabriella walked around and past him leaving him in alone.


	20. Chapter 20

Gabriella fell back against a rock off to the far right of the beach, putting as much distance between her and Troy as possible. Closing her eyes she held them tight until the tears that threaten to fall, resided. Taking a deep breath she let out the frustration in a sigh.

"Gabriella?" Sharpay rounded the corner and she spotted Gabriella, "You alright?"

"I'm fine," Gabriella said little more rushed than she intended.

"No you're not." Sharpay said coming to stand next to her by the rock. "You're shaking."

Gabriella looked down at her hands as they trembled. "Nothing gets by you," Gabriella said with a small laugh, a moment passed between them as Gabriella took deep breaths. "Why did you follow me over here?" Gabriella said crossing her arms. "Taylor told me what you did that night at the bar, so I don't by your caring act any further than I can throw you."

Sharpay let out a sigh and slumped her shoulders. "Well believe it or not I do care," she said giving her a sideways glance. "I know about what happened to you." She said in low tone. "I know that you were attacked, raped, and left in ditch for someone to find off the highway."

Gabriella eyes lifted as she met Sharpay's. Neither one of them said anything for long time. Thoughts and images flashed though her mind each one echoing a scream from somewhere deep inside and she didn't know if she was relieved or terrified.

"I Googled you."Sharpay said quietly.

Gabriella let out a sigh as she narrowed her eyes to look up at Sharpay with disbelief. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing," Sharpay brought a hand up to the left side of her face and rubbed her brow lightly. "You just look like you need someone to listen." Sharpay said finally bringing her hands to rest at her sides. "I get that I might not be the ideal person you wanted to confide in but right now I don't see what other choices you have?"

Gabriella shook her head the reality settling in that she was no longer hiding. "Every 45 seconds someone in the United States is sexually assaulted." Gabriella uncrossed her arms and braced herself on the rock as she felt a slight brim of tears fill her eyes. When Sharpay didn't say anything she continued. "Did you know an American woman is 10 times more likely to be raped than to die in a car crash?"

"No I didn't." Sharpay said placing a hand on Gabriella's shoulder lightly.

"How fucked up is it that I feel safer in the middle of the street than on a sidewalk?" Gabriella said shrugging away from Sharpay. "I fought my hardest to stay alive, I fought for my life before, during, even after, even now two years after I'm still fighting.'" Gabriella violently pushed the hair out of her face. "I'm tired." She said in shaky voice. "I'm just tired."

"Then stop?" Sharpay said quietly watching as Gabriella turned to face her again. "Stop running from everything and just fall, let the people who care about you catch you."

"I don't get it?" Gabriella let out a long breath as she looked back out into the water then back at Sharpay. "Why are you being so nice to me?" Gabriella frowned as she looked down at the sand.

Sharpay shrugged her shoulders. "What would be the point otherwise?"

Gabriella was quite as she processed this information. "Then why haven't you told Troy?"

"Same reason you didn't tell Taylor about me and Chad, I guess." Sharpay let out a sigh, "I can't image what you're going through, but I know that you can't continue to go through it alone." She said tucking a loose strand behind her ear. "Troy is a great guy, better than great he's amazing even."

"So amazing you cheated on him with his best friend?" Gabriella countered.

Sharpay let out a breath as she rubbed her hands over her arms. The two stood quite for a long time. "What happened between me and Chad was something neither one of us could control. I'm not making excuses or saying that we went about it the right way, but it happened."

"Do you love him?" Gabriella said looking out to the water.

"I do," Sharpay nodded as she looked out into the water as well.

"What about Taylor?" Gabriella said looking back at Sharpay, "She's hurting really bad,"

Sharpay looked down a look of shame and disgust washed over her. "I know."

"Are you going to do anything about that?" Gabriella said placing her hands on her hips.

"I don't think there is anything I can do?"Sharpay looked up at Gabriella and let out a breath. "You should open up to Troy. He likes you,"

"He only thinks he does," Gabriella said crossing her arms and wrapping them around herself. "If he knew the truth he'd understand that." She mumbled.

"Then explain it to him and let him make his own decision." Sharpay said extending her arms and pointing out to where they came from.

Gabriella let out a breath. "Why do you care?"

"Because I feel like shit. Okay!" Sharpay tossed her arms up in surrender. "Because I didn't want to lose the two best friends I had and I did." Sharpay swept her hair out her face as she turned towards where everyone else was. "I fell in love, I didn't hand choose my best friend's boyfriend. I didn't want it to happen and believe me for a long time I fought to ignore it. But like you I got tired."

"We're nothing alike." Gabriella countered.

"You know that butterfly feeling you get every time Troy stares at you." Sharpay said with a sigh, "that skip your heart gives when you touch,"

Gabriella was quite.

"Don't say you don't feel it," Sharpay pleaded. "Because I feel it from Chad, I felt it from Chad for an entire year and it has been torture for me. You have no idea how it feels to be in love with someone you can't have and worst know that your best friend, someone you admire and respect has him and the only way you can be happy is to break her heart."

Gabriella let out a breath, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I don't want this guilt of what you're going through on my hands as well," Sharpay said with a frown. "I used your friendship to keep you away from Troy and I'm not going to lie I crossed some lines in the things I did to keep him from you." Sharpay shoulders slumped and she shook her head. "I was frustrated, lonely, bitter, and just stupid. Chad and I made an agreement that if I broke it off with Troy he would break it off with Taylor and we would finally just be brave enough to be together. So when you moved in and Taylor moved in with Chad everything just got harder to do. I felt like a fool and I felt rejected."

"How do you feel now?" Gabriella asked.

"I feel happy," Sharpay said with deep breath. "Like this part of me has been brought to life." Sharpay paused for a moment as she watched Gabriella. "I also feel miserable, because my happiness stems from the misery of two people who were so close to my heart."

Gabriella felt something inside her pinch from the sincerity in her voice. "Happiness always has a price."

"Yeah but that price doesn't always have to be miserable." She said quietly. "I'm going to go back to Chad, I don't want to leave him by himself for too long."

"Thanks," Gabriella said wrapping her arms around herself again. Watching her walk away Gabriella let out a breath and leaned against the rock again.


	21. Chapter 21

It was dark out already when Troy got back to the beach. Taking his clipboard out from under the seat he marked his hours and mileage and then slipped the clipboard back under. The last group he drove back to the dorms was a group of freshmen who had never been to a bonfire before and had turned the back of his van into a photo booth. Looking back he let out a sigh as he thought about his obligation to clean out the back seats. There was glitter everywhere and sand all over the floor. "Fuck my life." He said facing front again and leaning back in his driver seat.

Zeke knocked on the window and Troy turned to look at him through the window. "Get out man, come on we're going to dance, you need a break from responsibility!"

"I'm good," Troy said bring a hand up to ruffle his hair. "I feel safer in here."

"Get the fuck out here Bolton!" Zeke howled and banged on the door making wolf howls.

"Alright, alright!" Troy said popping the lock. "Pull your skirt down I'm coming."

"Oh yeah what if I just pull it up and push my panties to the side for you," Zeke said motioning to his crutch.

"Dude," Troy made a face and the chuckled as he followed Zeke out into the sand where everyone was dancing. Troy was greeted by Kelsi and Ryan in the chaos of people moving and jumping around. He lifted his hands and began to move along to the music, his body bumping and grinding against random bodies as he lifted his fist into the air along with the music.

In a moment of pause between songs as people spread out to mingle Troy rested fell onto one of the logs nearby huffing and puffing as his lungs tried to keep up with his body.

"So," A familiar voice sat down beside him and he turned to see Ryan taking a seat. "Where do we stand?"

"What you mean?" Troy asked raising a brow as he placed his hands on his knees and concentrated on deep breathing.

"What my sister did was crap." Ryan said leaning forward to be better heard over the chaos. "I'm hoping that it won't affect our friendship."

Troy let out a huff and waved a hand in dismissal, "I'm not going to stop talking to you because I'm mad at your sister." Troy said leaning back a little and looking over at Zeke who was setting up the next set. "That's a little third grade don't you think?"

"Just checking," Ryan let out a sigh as he wiped his brow with a towel he had over his shoulder. "So do if you don't mind me asking," Ryan said looking around before he continued. "What's going on with you and Kelsi's friend."

Troy shot Ryan a sideways glance. "Don't ask," he said shaking his head in frustration. "What about you and Kelsi?"

"What about me and Kelsi?" Ryan said with a smirk.

"Fine, we'll take women off the table." Troy said shoving aside invisible subject. "How's your research paper for Mr. D'Aghostino?"

"Piece of shit." Ryan said with a wince. "I have no idea what to start with or what to say?"

Troy nodded, as he looked around the beach at people walking in pairs or groups by the water, laughing, joking, everyone having a good time.

"Gabriella's got a fan club going on over there?" Ryan said motioning towards the other end were Taylor and Gabriella were standing by the bonfire and talking two random boys. Taylor was feeling the muscle of one guy while Gabriella nodded slowly at something the other was saying.

Troy's eyes zeroed in on her like a trained drug dog sniffing her out in a crowd of hundreds. "Yeah," he mumbled as he watched her eyes drift sideways almost as if she could tell he was watching her. When their eye met he inhaled sharply. The expression on her face was hard to read from this distance but if he had to guess she had the same reaction as he did.

"Still don't want to talk about it?" Ryan said before bracing himself to get up again.

"Nope," Troy said with sigh.

"Well, if you don't mind, Kelsi giving me the eyes," He said tipping his hat before turning to walk over to Kelsi.

Three songs later he was standing in the crowd. His eyes wondered the beach looking for her and yet trying to avoid her at the same time. Unwillingly his eyes landed on Sharpay and Chad who were dancing around with a few random faces. Letting out a breath he rested a hand on his hip and brought the other one up to his face rubbing the frustration that was gnawing at him. Turning around he came face to face with Gabriella and suddenly out of breath. The two stared at each other before he could actually get a word out. "What do you want Montez?" he said shoving his hands in his pocket.

"Can you drive us home?" she said pointing over at Taylor who was leaning against the van already.

Troy looked from Taylor to Gabriella his breath caught as someone nudged their way past pushing Gabriella forward and forcing his arms to catch her as she placed her hands on his chest. For a moment his speech was impaired and he wasn't able to from a thought, instead he'd been overwhelmed with the smell of jasmine and vanilla.

"Troy?"

"Yeah," he said releasing her against his better judgment. "I can take you home."

Feeling a slap on the back he looked back to see Zeke smiling at him. "Let me," he said taking the keys, "You kids stay here and I'll take the drunks home, you haven't had much fun all night." Before Troy could begin to protest, Zeke plucked the keys from his hand.

"Oh but," Gabriella looked back at Taylor then Zeke. "It's alright; we don't have to go now, we can wait."

"I insist." Zeke said with a smile. "Help him have a good time."

Gabriella eyes widened as she looked back at Taylor then at Zeke in fear. "No." she said a little too loud then necessary.

Zeke and Troy froze as Gabriella took the keys from Zeke, "We don't have to go home, I mean we can just hang out until you're ready." Gabriella said looking at Troy.

Catching on to her urgency Troy looked over at Zeke and nodded. "It's alright man," Troy said after a moment. "I don't mind," nudging Zeke. "Go have a drink and work your Mack skills." He said with a wink.

"Alright man," he said backing away from Gabriella and Troy with a little bit of caution before turning to disappear into the crowd.

"Despite popular belief not all men are out to hurt you, you know." Troy said looking back at Gabriella.

Gabriella was still looking into the direction that Zeke disappeared. "I wish I could believe that," Gabriella said looking back up at Troy. "I want to."

"Well why do you trust me so much?" he said raising a brow. "I mean for all you know I could be some twisted sicko who lures drunken girls into his van and rapes them?" he said with a shrug.

Gabriella jerked as she met his blue eyes with her brown eyes. Both of them stood there in the chaos of people all around them. In that moment something flickered inside her and she was filled with rage. "Why would you say something like that?" she said shoving him with both her hands forcing him back with all her might.

Troy stumbled back only catching himself on the people behind him, with a few mumbles and a curse he was brought back to his feet where he turned to look her in the eye. "What's your problem?" he said looking at her a little annoyed. "It was a joke."

"It's not a funny one." Gabriella said hitting him again, her heart was thumping wildly as she picked up her hand again. "An American woman has a 25 to 26 percent chance of being raped in her lifetime." Gabriella said giving him another blow. "Nothing about that is funny." Raising her hand again Troy moved a little to soften the blow, only this time he took hold of both her arms and held out. People all around them were staring, there was a muted noise to the chaos as people stopped mid sentence. A change in the atmosphere that could you could cut with a knife. In a panic she struggled to get free only to be pushed. They were moving to the clearing, away from people, the music, over hearing ears and intruding eyes. "Troy." She said with a warning tone.

Once they got to the clearing he let her go his features were harder, his eyes set ablaze with a crisp blue that made her instantly go still. "When."

Silence echoed past the music and Gabriella looked away from him in an effort to avoid the coming train of emotion. They were behind the van, covered from the few people who had followed, from the ones still watching to see if there was more to story. "What are you talking about?" she said in a low voice.

"Don't!" His voice was a little more thunderous and Gabriella jerked as she took a step back from him. His temper flared and she could almost feel the impending strike. Even though all common sense told her that Troy would never hurt her she still couldn't shake the fear that gathered inside her like a disease.

After a standoff of two minutes that felt like 30 Troy let out a breath and brought a hand up to pinch the area between his eyes. Scaring her wasn't the best option, it wasn't even his intention. The idea that someone would hurt her, would force themselves on her, take away any sense of security from her made him see red. His insides clenched his jaw tightened and everything inside him almost felt as though it had been shattered. "When did this happen?" he said in a softer voice, dropping his hands to his side he looked up at her with a certain type of concern.

Gabriella didn't say anything she just stood quite as she stared at him. Lost in the between of trying to hide from him and be exposed to him at the same time. She suddenly wished she was wearing something different. Something that covered her up, that didn't expose her body physically in the way she felt exposed emotionally. His eyes traveled over her body seeing her for the first time through thick lens of sympathy and confusion.

"Hey," he said in concern lifting his right hand to tilt her chin upward to meet his eyes. When she flinched he froze his hand barely even close enough to touch her. Panic filled her eyes and Troy felt her get distance as her eyes seem to glaze over. "I'm sorry I raised my voice and I'm sorry I made a very stupid joke." He said pleadingly.

Gabriella didn't respond, she didn't know what to say, what to do. She watched him watch her, his eyes looking at the scar next to her eye, coming down to the faded scar on her chin. "He came from behind." She said quietly almost automatically. "He took me right off the sidewalk in the middle of day." She said looking down to avoid the sting in her eyes turning into tears. "He drove a truck, he shoved me into it and pinned me to the floor of it under his feet to hold me down."

Troy closed his eyes as wave of nausea took over.

"When the Truck stopped and he got out I got up and took off, I ran as fast as I could and but I didn't know where we were, he knocked me down and fell face first into some kind of crate that splintered." Her hand came up to her face gently. She couldn't stop, before she knew it she was talking again. "Then he dragged me into the warehouse." The words spilled out with flooded relief and laced with toxic venom all at the same time.

"Gabriella," Troy voice was soft.

"They said I was gone for two days," Gabriella said looking up at him, "I was gone for 38 hours and 12 minutes before someone found me on side of the road barely conscious."

Troy took a step to her and she took two steps back. "Gabriella,"

"Stupid, doesn't even begin to describe that joke." She said between clenched teeth.

Troy stood there his stomach flipping, his pulse slowly down and everything around him faded out but sound of her voice. After a moment of silence passed through them again, they watched each other intently waiting for a response. "What do you want me to do?" Troy said in daze not sure what he expected her to say.

Gabriella nodded slowly as she blinked back a tear. "I just wanna go," she said in a low voice. "Please,"

The please on her lips almost sounded like sob. The way she crossed her arms and hid her body behind them seemed to make a statement. Troy nodded as he got the message loud and clear. "I'll drive you home." Troy said with a small frown.

"Thank you," As she walked past him and he was rushed with the smell of her, the Jasmine filling his nostrils as he shut his eyes. As soon as she was gone he felt the vile bubble to the surface and without hesitation he lurched over and let vomit pass from his lips.


	22. Chapter 22

Gabriella took three steps forward in the line for wraps. Today the cafeteria had an Indian themed menu. Not that she hated Indian food but out of everything that was being served she felt more comfortable with a simple wrap instead.

"Did you tell him?"

Gabriella turned around in line to see Sharpay in line behind her. A cold sweat broke out over her as she quickly she scanned the room for Taylor.

"She's out in the hall, talking to Zeke" Sharpay said raising a brow as she motioned that the line was moving up.

"Yeah, he found out."Gabriella said solemnly as took two steps forward and bit her lip for a moment before looking down at the floor.

"Found out?" Sharpay said crossing her arms. "So he asked?"

Gabriella paused as she looked back at Sharpay then at the door leading out into the hall. "If she catches me talking to you she's going to flip."

"What am I suppose to do? Not eat because you're in line?" Sharpay said a little put off.

Gabriella rolled her eyes as she stepped up in line. "Don't be so dramatic. You're sleeping with her boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend." Sharpay said with annoyance. "They broke up."

"Because she found out!" Gabriella said a little too loudly and attracting the attention of some people walking by. Gabriella let out a breath as she closed her eyes, fully aware of the pink taking residence on her cheeks.

"Shhhh," Sharpay hushed as she motioned that the line had moved up again. "So he found out," Sharpay continued. "Now what?"

Gabriella shrugged her shoulders, "We haven't talked?" Gabriella said a little upset about the entire thing. Not that she'd been looking for him or going out of way to do things like knock on his door. It was just weird, how before he used to be everywhere and now he just… wasn't. Gabriella bit her lip as she let out a breath. "It's not that I blame him or anything I mean who wants to deal with something like that," she said shrugging her shoulder and looking down at her chipping nail polish.

"Stop it." Sharpay said giving Gabriella a little pinch on her side. "What happened to you doesn't give any guy the right to just drop you. You should say something."

Gabriella shoulders slumped a little as she moved forward with the line. "it's really not a big deal, I'm use to it," Gabriella said no matter how much she thought this time might be different the end result was the same. In past whenever she'd been up front about what had happened to her people would generally disappear. Especially men, no one wanted to deal with the baggage of her past.

"Well you shouldn't be." Sharpay said with annoyance in her tone, neither one of them said anything for a moment. Then Sharpay tapped her shoulder lightly. "I was reading on this blog that there are no quick or easy fixes for healing from sexual violence, so it's important to be patient when the process seems to be taking what some might consider to be a long time." Sharpay said waving a hand as she spoke. "You know that despite our past relationship I'm always here if you want to talk. I mean think about it, you survived; obviously you did the right things. Don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable about that. That's something to be proud of."

Gabriella nodded as she watch the boy in front of her place his order. Her own breath caught as she thought about what Sharpay was telling her. Of all the people in the world it was Sharpay who was making sense, who was offering a hand out to help, who known what she had been through and wasn't running out of the room to avoid conversation or possible details. "I still don't understand why you're talking to me,"

"Just trying to make it right," Sharpay mumbled in a voice Gabriella almost couldn't hear.

"Well thanks," Gabriella said turning around to nod at Sharpay. "But for what it's worth, you're making it right to the wrong person." Gabriella said before stepping up to place her order.

Troy tapped his pen on his notebook as he looked around the room at all the blank faces looking back at him. "Powder Puff Football," he said with a little more interest then he liked to admit. The student affairs council had been sitting in the library for the last hour discussing fundraiser ideas.

"And that is," A red head asked as she gave Troy a disapproving look.

Troy held out his hands, "Powder puff football is an old college favorite;" he began giving Megan the eye as he proceeded to explain. Megan, a red head, who was just another one of Sharpay's many mini me's on campus was currently on the 'against Troy' train. Looking back at everyone else he pushed through the feeling of bile in stomach and pushed himself up from his chair. "This is the idea of seeing women play football." Troy said holding up a finger "This is about attracting the attention of both male and female college students to not just any fundraiser but a powder puff football tournament." He thought of the idea days ago, memorized everything he had to say. Told himself he just had to get through this meeting. Looking around he saw some of the men in the room were already smirking while the females began to roll their eyes. "Now I know what you're thinking." He said walking more into the middle of the circle.

"Great so we can all agree this is a pig headed idea?" Megan said with an ear to ear grin earning the giggles from a few of her own followers.

Ignoring her Troy went on. "We are going to ask groups of girls to sign up for teams, and find groups of men to be cheerleaders, skirts and all." He said drawing in everyone's attention again. "We charge a fee to enter the game and sell refreshments to boost our fundraising. Any question?"

"Yes," Megan said narrowing her eyes his way. "What about a fundraising idea that isn't so sexiest."

"It's not completely sexiest." Another girl said from the side. "I mean the boys dress up as cheer leaders and the girls as football players, this could be fun."

Some people muttered in agreement and Troy smiled as he watched Megan stare at him with annoyance. "This could be fun," Troy repeated.

The room was quite once again as everyone looked around, "Fine," Megan said with a sigh. "I'll get started on the forms and get it to the dean for approval." She added as she began jotting down notes.

Troy smiled as everyone murmured their excitement and began talking about their outfit ideas. As soon as Megan jotted down the information she adjured the meeting and everyone began wrapping up to leave. Troy stood behind in order to put away the equipment they borrowed from the AV room. As people walked out one by one he nodded his 'see you laters' and 'congrats' then he began to wrap up the computer wire. Like a library book the computer carts were borrowed out to anyone with an id. The cart came with all the wires and equipment a projector to display the screen on a wall, the works. Troy began sorting through the items on the cart to ensure everything was returned properly.

"Well you managed to win the hearts of the council, yet again." Megan said with defeat as she slipped her back pack over her shoulder.

"Well," Troy said with a shrug, "what can I say, this charm is a curse." He said as he wrapped the wire in a bundle to tie up. Megan didn't make a move to leave the room and Troy eyes shifted back up to her in curiosity. "Can I help you with something?" he asked.

"How's Sharpay?" Megan said with a polite smile she didn't mean.

"She's alive," Troy muttered as he unplugged the computer from the wall and set the plugs up on the cart as well.

"I heard about her and Chad." Megan said with a hint of sarcasm. "That must have sucked."

Troy wrapped up the last wire and then grabbed both sides of the cart. "Does this conversation have a point Megan or are you just poking at a flesh wound hopping for some blood?"

Megan shrugged. "Just keeping up with my gossip, enjoying your misery."

Troy pushed the cart towards the door way. "I got nothing to prove to you Megan, truth be told I don't even like you." He said pushing the door open and moving the cart through it as she followed. "I don't care what rumors you hear." Once he was out of ear shot he mumbled a slur under his breath as he reached the AV room. His mind wondered and his thoughts brought him to Gabriella. Troy placed both hands on the cart palm down and felt the quick wave of nausea pass through him again for the what had to have been the 12th time since the knowledge of what happened to Gabriella actually sank in.

The bonfire was three days ago and he yet to see her, not that he pitched a tent up outside her bedroom door or waited for her to show up at work. By accident Kelsi need to work the late shift on Monday so he been able to switch hours with her and when Gabriella showed up for her shift he was in the middle of a conversation about equipment with Mr. Ward. Tuesday was his day off and tonight, well tonight he was going to have to see her. He just didn't know what to say. Once inside he walked over to his desk to sign the equipment back in and check his e-mails.

"Are you trying to be an idiot?" Sharpay said as she came into the office.

"Excuse me?" Troy said looking up from the computer screen.

"That girl needs you and you're sitting here reading e-mails like nothing's wrong." Sharpay said coming up to his desk and leaning on it.

"What am I suppose to do, beat the guy up, he's dead." Troy said standing up with force. "And what makes you think you're in a place to give me any kind of advice?"

"Because despite the way things are you're still my friend Troy." Sharpay responded sharply.

"You have a messed up sense of friendship." Troy said lifting a finger towards her and turning to grab his clip board.

"She's just as scared as you are." Sharpay said letting out a breath. "And remember she's the victim."

"Wait," Troy said shaking his head in confusion. "How do you even know about this?" Troy said looking up from the clipboard. A flash of pain surged through him.

"Of course I know about it, I googled her." Sharpay said looking at it him pointedly.

"Why?"

"Because you were interested," Sharpay said looking away from him. "Because I panicked when Chad said he needed more time and you were moving on and I just panicked."

Troy was silent for a moment as the heaviness of the last few weeks settled around them. "Why did you lie to me?" Troy said finally looking back at the schedule.

"If I lied to anyone it was to myself," Sharpay said looking up at him. "You're a smart guy Troy, you knew something was wrong and you tried to fix it and I wished that you could but-" Sharpay stopped and Troy looked back up to see her struggling with the right words. "There is nothing I can say that's going to excuse what I did or make you feel any better about what happened." She said sticking her chin up. "The best thing I can say is that I'm sorry."

The silence echoed and Troy lips slowly pulled into a small smile. "An apology from Sharpay Evans?"

"The best your gonna get." She shot back with a half smile.

Troy let out a sigh and dropped back into his seat. "So you Googled her?" he said with a raised eye brow.

"You need to talk to her." Sharpay said feeling a weight lift off her shoulders.

"She never wants to talk about anything, whenever I try she shuts down, ends the conversation, or takes off." Troy said leaning back in his chair. "Or worst I say something completely stupid and make an ass out of myself."

"You're scared." Sharpay said quietly.

"I'm terrified." Troy said as he blankly looked at the computer screen. "I have so many questions and I don't think I want them answered."

"Imagine how terrified she is." Sharpay said. "She was raped. Someone took away all that security and self dignity that we all take for granted every single day. That's a feeling you can't just get back. She'll be looking over her shoulder for the rest of her life."

Troy was quiet as he sat there in his chair looking at the other empty desk in the room. "So you guys are friends now?"

"I'm someone she can talk to." Sharpay offered as she pulled up a chair and sat down. "I'm also someone you can talk to too you know." Troy watched as she sat down in front of him and leaned forward on the desk a little. "She's at work now." Sharpay said looking at him with a small smile.

"I know, I was thinking about heading over their a little early." Troy said looking up at the clock.

"What are you going to say?"

Troy shook his head, "I don't know," Troy brought a hand up and ranked his fingers though his hair.

"How do you feel?" Sharpay said eyeing him a little and looking at the circles under his eyes. "You look tired."

"I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't really think of anything else." Troy looked at the cart he wheeled in earlier. "The only reason I'm here is because I had a student council fundraiser meeting. If I hadn't already had that pitch rehearsed and planed out I would have never made it through. " Troy leaned back in her chair. "I want to say the right thing here, I want let her know how I feel I just don't understand how I feel."

"When you are talking to her, don't worry about saying all the right things. Your very presence will be comforting. Silence is okay." Sharpay said with a smile. "You don't always need to say the right things. Sometimes there is nothing to say."

"This is awkward." He said looking up at Sharpay with a smirk. "I told her that I like her."

"Do you?" Sharpay said.

"I think she's out of this world." Troy said as he leaned forward a little. "a lot braver and stronger than she gives herself credit for."

"I was reading online," Sharpay said looking down at her hands before looking back up at him. "This one article said that one of the best ways to help a friend that's be raped is to remind them that it is not their fault. They did not ask to be raped. Whatever their excuse is, just counter it with a positive statement." Sharpay let out a sigh, "They also say to just be there for them and believe them."

"I want to be there for her," Troy said quietly.

"Then be there," Sharpay said leaning forward. "Hold her hand, listen to her, and just be there, because for every second you're not…" Sharpay frowned. "You're only going backwards."


	23. Chapter 23

Gabriella bent down to sweep the last of the broken glass into the dust pan. Coming back up she tossed it into the trash and looked back at the floor to examine her work. With a nod she snapped the broom and dust pan together and slid it into this slot on the maintenance cart. Pulling the cart behind her she made her way back to the back room only to be stopped when two male hands stopped the cart from going any further. Looking up she met blue eyes staring back at her.

"Hey" Troy said as he stood there watching her eyes widen with panic.

"Troy." Gabriella looked around the nearly empty student center. "Your shift isn't for another two hours, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you." He said taking the cart from her.

"Me?" she watched as he pushed the cart towards the back room. Gabriella looked around the student center one more time in a stunned silence as she looked at the empty tables and study group off to the corner.

"You coming Montez?" he called out.

When he got into the back room he put the cart back into it closet and turned around in time to see Gabriella coming into the room. Her hair was down and she was wearing a blue sweater that seemed to hang off her right shoulder. Her jeans were snug her tennis shoes beat up. "Got a hot date or something?" he asked walking up to her and reaching out for a curl to hold between his fingers.

"No," she said looking up at him with an expression. "Why are you here?"

"Wanna get a pizza?" he said ignoring her question and gently bringing his right hand up to tuck a curl behind her ear. He was touching her and she wasn't flinching or fighting it. Troy smiled "What do you eat on your pizza?"

"Troy," she said grabbing his hands. "What are you doing?"

The room went quiet and both of them stood there watching the other. "Spending time with you," Troy said as he rocked back on his heals a bit.

"I'm not a charity case," Gabriella said as she leaned back a little. "I know you were avoiding me."

"Never," Troy said a little taken a back. "I could never avoid you."

"Then why haven't I seen you around?" Gabriella said looking at him with curiosity.

Troy shrugged "I wasn't sure you wanted me around." Troy slipped a hand into his pocket. "You kinda brushed me off the other night at the bonfire."

Gabriella didn't say anything, crossing her arms she watched him as he watched her. His eyes were warm, gentle, and trusting, the kind of eyes that made you feel wonderful to be seen through. "Everything has changed, hasn't it?"

"Some things," Troy said honestly. "Not everything."

"But you want to talk about it." Gabriella said watching his eyes for any hesitation.

Troy didn't hesitate. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There isn't much to talk about." Gabriella said with a shrug, "Rape's kind of self explanatory like that."

The word being said seemed to bring the tension into the room. His eyes narrowed and he caught himself holding his breath. She was defensive, distant and concealing all the warmth that her smile and features had to offer. "Are you testing me?" he said quietly staring at her with confusion.

Gabriella let out a sigh and she tucked her hair back. "Doesn't it scare you?"

Troy hands clenched in his pockets. "No,"

"Why do want to be with me?" Gabriella said uncrossing her arms. "There are other girls more than willing to give you everything you need, want and more."

"And none of those girls are going to be you." Troy said with a raised brow, "They might actually like me back and then where would I be?" His blue eyes seemed to smile along with the rest of his face.

Gabriella smirked a little as she rolled her eyes.

"What's your favorite pizza topping?" He asked.

Shifting her weight to her left food she paused for a moment before she answered. "Sausage."

"Ever tried BBQ chicken?"

Gabriella face scrunched up. "That sounds really gross." She said waving a hand in front of her and then turning to raise the gate from the service window.

"How would you know if you never tried?"

"I just do."

"That's not fair." Troy said with a huff, "Wanna go get some pizza?"

"No," Gabriella said with a smile as she motion around. "I'm at work." She said as took a seat at the front desk.

"No one's here." Troy said turning to lean out the service window and look into empty student center. No one was on the floor, the only people in his sight of vision was a group of girls studying in the corner booth.

"You're impossible, Some of us value our job." Gabriella moving the mouse to wake up the computer revealing her face book page.

Troy smirked as she motioned to the computer screen. "That's funny I don't remember the Face book part of the job?" he said stealing the mouse from her.

"Troy," she said with a laugh as he took over her face book page.

"I could status a million things," He said pushing her gently out of the way as he took over the key board. "How about Troy is the most amazing person in the world?"

Both of them giggled as she fought back for the mouse shoving him out of the way. After a few moments of laughter he looked back at the screen at the dog. "Who's that?" he asked.

"I have a dog back at home. Her name is Bella." Gabriella said clicking the mouse for the computer and bringing up the photo for a better view. "We rescued her from the pound, she's a Beagle mixed with Pointer." She smiled as she looked up at Troy to watch as he leaned into look at the picture. He was close, so close that she could smell the scent of his cologne. It was faint, almost not there, faded throughout the day so that now it was a mixture of Troy and cologne. She resisted the urge to lean in and take a deep breath.

"I have cat named Binky." Troy said, making her jerk a little. "Cats are awesome, way smarter than dogs." He said looking back at her playfully.

"Dogs are better," Gabriella said narrowing her eyes. "They actually give back affection."

"So does a cat." Troy said taken a back.

Gabriella rolled her eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Troy let out a laugh as she clicked out of the album. Troy eyes caught an album labeled School Play. "Wait what's this one?" he said pointing at it.

"I was in a school play, kind of a drama geek." Gabriella said clicking on the album.

Troy looked at the pictures of Gabriella on stage in leather pants and big blond wig with curls talking to some guy in a leather jacket. "Did you perform in Grease?"

"I was Sandra Dee." Gabriella said with a smirk. "It was fun."

"We have a drama department here, why don't you get involved?" Troy said with a smile, "Their always looking for people who like to get on stage."

"I'm alright; I don't really get into it anymore." Gabriella said with a frown. "It's been a while."

Troy shook his head, "I bet you were really good."

"I was ok." Gabriella said as she looked back at the picture with fondness.

Troy watched as a strand of hair fell against her cheek. Her eyes looked at the screen caught up in a memory he give anything to be part of. Her eyes shifted and she looked up at him with a smile. A smile that literally made him catch his breath. He was goner.

"What?" Gabriella said watching his reaction.

"You should smile more." Troy said with a smile of his own.


	24. Chapter 24

Taylor sat in the hall waiting for a meeting with her professor. Looking down at her assignment she frowned once again at the D- circled in red over her exam from last week. Surprise, surprise her grade had taken a nose dive these past few weeks. Not a complete shocker given that she'd also spent most of her time listen to Chris Brown's Good Bye and Alicia Keys's Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart while juggling Vodka and Tequila on the side. Closing her eyes she leaned back and let her head hit the wall behind her. How did she get to this point? Just at the beginning of this year she was doing well in all her classes shopping for a homecoming dress with her best friend and having a movie night cuddled up in bed with Chad while they played footie under the covers. Opening her eyes she let out a sigh and leaned back on the bench. She stared out into the hallway only to see Chad talking to some red head. Letting out a sigh she rolled her eyes. Just as she was going to get up their eyes met and she froze as he bid his goodbyes to the woman and began walking her way. His brown eyes that once held a certain charm now seemed guilty and concerned.

"Hey," Chad said coming up to her slowly, stopping only so that he was able to lean on the opposing wall.

"What?" Taylor said looking away from him and at the bulletin board on the wall advertizing tutor sessions in the writing center on Tuesdays. Her bottom lip retreated to hide the quivering emotion that seemed to be making its way to the surface. Biting down hard on her lips she slowly let out a long breath hoping to calm her nerves.

"How are you doing?" he asked after a moment's pause.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" Taylor said turning her body so she was facing away from him.

Chad let out a breath as he slumped against the wall. "Tay, I never meant to hurt you."

"I find that hard to believe." She said looking at him with a fine line of tears forming beyond her control.

Chad own eyes seemed to be filled with a fine line of tears she hadn't expected to see, not that it changed the hate that she had for him in that moment, or made her feel more sympatric to his feelings. "Tay,"

"Taylor," She corrected pushing herself up onto her feet. "You can call me Taylor," she said jabbing her finger in his direction. "In fact just ease my name from your entire vocabulary." Taylor said making her way towards the stairwell.

"Taylor," Chad called out was he followed her out of the exit the door making an extra bang noise as it hit the wall again. "Wait."

"No," Taylor shouted as she kept moving pulling the final door open and stepping into the night air and onto the path back to the dorm.

"Taylor," Chad said coming to her side and jogging a bit to keep pace. "I swear I didn't mean for you to find out like that,"

"Yeah well I did," Taylor said changing direction in effort to end the conversation.

"I know and trust me I'm not proud of it. I'm not proud of any of it." Chad said reaching out to grab her hand and pulling her to a stop.

"Don't touch me," Taylor said pulling her hand away from him and then lifting the other to slap him across the face. The slap echoed and Chad face turned the right stunned and yet amused.

"Feel better?" he said bring a hand to the side of his face to rub it gently.

"No," Taylor said crossing her arms. They both stared at each other as the wind lightly blew past them. "What happened?" She said finally. "You should told me,"

"I don't know what happened." Chad said solemnly.

"When did it happen?" Taylor said uncrossing her arms and bringing a hand up to her temple. "No, I don't want to know this," she said turning away from him.

"Thanksgiving break." Chad said with a sigh, "When you were at your moms we stayed behind on campus because Sharpay's dad was in Tokyo and my mom and dad were in Colorado. We were watching movies and … We kissed,"

Taylor turned around again lifting her hand as the slap echoed louder.

Chad nodded as he turned back to face her again. "We only slept together once,"

Taylor heart sank further.

"After that we agreed to wait, we knew what we did was wrong and we didn't want to hurt you anymore than we already had. We made a deal to break up with our significant others," Chad said taking a deep breath, "She broke up with Troy that night you came over when Gabriella moved in, I wanted to tell you, I wanted to be a man about this and tell you." He said is own voice quivering.

"Then why didn't you?" Taylor said swiping away a tear rolling down her check.

"Cause I didn't want to hurt you, I couldn't, I can't." Chad stopped as he took a breath watching her closely. "I love you Taylor, I can't stand to see you hurting."

Anger festered up inside her, "You ripped my heart out." She said quietly. "You literally ripped my heart out." She said patting her chest.

"I'm sorry," Chad said taking a step forward.

Taylor took two steps back and held out her hands. "I don't want to keep being the girl that keeps crying about the same things." She said turning around and making her way back to her dorm.

Gabriella laid in her bed looking out into the middle of the room in daze. That was when the door opened and Taylor walked in tossing her back pack to the floor. "I hate this fucking school!" she exclaimed.

Gabriella pushed herself up, "Meeting not go well?"

"Shit," Taylor said bringing her hands up to her temple. "I forgot about the meeting."

"What happened?" Gabriella said standing up now and adjusting her shirt better.

"I ran into Chad and before I know it he's confessing all this crap to me out in the commons." Taylor said with a faint sob. "Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew." Taylor fell to the bed letting out a sigh as she buried her face in her hands. "It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does."

"Tay," Gabriella said coming to sit by her on the bed and place a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be alright," Gabriella said

"I can't keep doing this," Taylor said looking up at Gabriella, "my grades are slipping; I'm drinking during the day." Taylor let out another sob. "I need help,"

Gabriella nodded as she took a deep breath letting Taylor fall against her. Taylor's shoulder trembled a little as Gabriella slowly petted her back, trying her best to be supportive and there for her. After a while of telling her everything was going to be alright Taylor fell asleep. Gently placing her down on the bed under her covers Gabriella slipped on her shoes and grabbed her key, quietly leaving the room and locking the door behind her.

Gabriella made her way upstairs to the third floor and knocked on the door, her hands trembling and her breath almost faint as she waited in the hall. Quietly she knocked again. This time there was a grumble and a noise of something falling inside. When the door opened she came face to face with Zeke who was shirtless and groggy eyed.

"Sup?" he said leaning on the door frame and squinting out into the hallway at the lights.

"Taylor needs help." Gabriella said

Zeke straighten and reached for his shirt as he rushed out the door. "What happened, did she fall, is she bleeding?"

"No, no, no." Gabriella said holding her arms out to stop him. "It's nothing imminent." She said taking a deep breath.

This time a more awake Zeke looked back at her raising his brow. "What's going on?"

"She failing her classes, she'd drinking more, she's depressed." Gabriella frowned as she twisted her fingers in her hands. "You the only other person I know who's kind of her friend that can help."

"What about Troy?"

Gabriella shook her head, "I'm coming to you." She said almost pleadingly. "I don't know what to do,"

Zeke let out a sigh and leaned against the door frame again. "Alright," he said reaching over to his side and picking up a note pad. "You're going to go to the drug store and get "three gossip magazines, just dirty, juicy gossip, get tons of Chocolate, sour patch and popcorn," he said as he wrote these things down. "Get nail polish, any colors preferably bright ones, and get the an old classic movie." He said tearing the sheet out. "Stay away from romantic comedies or romantic dramas, go with action or horror, make sure the guy on the cover is cute." He said holding out the piece of paper.

Gabriella took the slip and looked at him with confusion.

"It's called having a girls night after a bad break up, remind her that she can have fun without Chad, that she has more friends than just Sharpay." Zeke smiled, "Trust me, this is exactly what she needs right now." He said with a nod.

Gabriella nodded as she looked at the list again. "Thank you," she said with a small smile.


	25. Chapter 25

Kelsi and Gabriella stood at the magazine rack. "Thanks for coming with," Gabriella said with a smile as she flipped through a cosmopolitan magazine.

"It's cool," Kelsi said with a smile. "This should be fun, you know, a girls night." Kelsi smiled as she lifted US Weekly. "This is bound to have information on that twilight break up thing?"

"You think she'll want to read about that?" Gabriella said with frown.

"Well," she said with a shrug, "it's always good knowing there someone out there doing worst than you are?" Kelsi said with a smirk.

"I guess," Gabriella said with a shrug, looking back at the cosmopolitan page. _Everything You Need To Know About Your G-SPOT _her eyes drifted further down the page just as a familiar voice whispered in her ear.

"Research?"

Quickly shutting the magazine she felt a blush on her cheeks from his chuckle. "What are you doing here?"

"Beer run," Troy said holding up a case. "You?" he said eyeing the magazine.

"We are preparing for a girls night." Kelsi said motioning to the items in her basket. Troy leaned forwards taking in all the candy, junk food, mud mask, nail polish, magazines, and Kill Bill volume 1.

"Looks like fun." He said looking back at Gabriella with a raised brow. "You ladies need a ride back to campus?"

"No," Gabriella answered quickly.

"Yes," Kelsi said giving Gabriella an odd look. "We're going to have a lot of bags,"

"Alright," Gabriella said with a frown as she put the cosmopolitan in the cart along with a Glamour magazine.

"Alright," Troy said smiling a little at Gabriella. "Just let me know when you're ready."

"Well, we're all set," Kelsi said, "I just have to go pick up some koteks." She said with a grin. "I'll meet you guys at the register." She said handing the basket to Gabriella. Gabriella was going to follow but Troy stepped in her way as Kelsi made her way out of site disappearing into store.

"Now who's avoiding who?" he said with grin.

"I'm not avoiding you," she said turning to make her way to the register.

"Sure you aren't," Troy said with raised brow as he followed her. "You owe me money for that pizza you know?" he said with a smile. "Admit it you love BBQ chicken on your pizza."

"It wasn't bad," Gabriella said with a smirk as she got in line.

"You loved it," Troy said in a whisper as he got in line behind her. "You loved it so much you want me to show you other foods you've been missing out on all your life."

Gabriella felt a shiver roll over her skin from the brush of his words. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath searching for the familiar scent she could almost smell in her sleep. A smiled tug at her lips and she turned so she could see him over her shoulder. "And if I agree to this student teacher relationship?" turning back she placed her items on the counter and cosmopolitan magazine was on top.

Troy raised a brow as he eyed the magazine, "Depends on the lesson plan you had in mind," he said looking back at her.

Gabriella's eyes fell to the magazine as well, her breath hitched as excitement bubbled in her stomach. Lifting her eyes they came up to his and for a hot moment they both had a knowing look and both understood that the conversation had changed. "What's your area of expertise?" She said in a low voice she almost couldn't recognize.

It was everything for his jaw not to hit the floor. Her lips had parted, and Troy eyes fell over her chest which was rising and falling a little quicker. His eyes came lower admiring the curves of her body, revealing the forbidden feeling he suddenly had towards touching her. Inhaling slowly he let the grin on his lips get a little crooked in the most devilish way. "Certain things can't be described with words," he said in a low voice.

"Hey did you guys know that their getting rid of Twinkies and Ding Dongs?" Kelsi said as she held up a Twinkie.

Troy facial features shift and he looked over at Kelsi. "Crime isn't it?"

Gabriella fell a never giggle escape her as she turned back to the register where her items were being rung up. Had that really just happened? Were they talking about what she thought they were talking about? Feeling the rush she paid for stuff and waited with Kelsi out by his truck.

"I wish I had a car," Kelsi said as she looked at Troy's truck.

"I never really learned how to drive." Gabriella said watching the door to the store.

Kelsi let out a small sigh, "So how long have you and Troy been making the eyes at each other?" Kelsi leaned on the truck with a smirk on her lips.

"What?" Gabriella said turning her attention to Kelsi.

"You so like him." Kelsi said with a giggle. "Not that anyone can blame you as far as prefect goes, Troy one of the gods on campus."

"We're not," Gabriella said not able to keep a straight face.

"Right," Kelsi pointed at her lips. "You're smiling every time I say Troy."

Gabriella fought a smile and she felt the red hit her cheeks. "I am so not smiling because of Troy."

"Troy," Kelsi said followed by a giggle when Gabriella looked away to hide her smile.

"Stop it," Gabriella giggled.

"Oh my god your giggling." Kelsi also giggled. "Troy, Troy, Troy."

"That's my name don't wear it out," Troy said as he approached the car.

Both girls jumped at his presence and the giggles stopped as they both stood up straight and gave him their best act causal smiles.

"Should we get going or should we make the parking lot the next hottest hang out?"

They piled into Troy's truck with Kelsi in the middle. Gabriella watched for a little while as Kelsi talked about Ryan, their first date, about butterflies and first kisses. Without much effort one of them would say something or pose a question that would send Kelsi into a long dramatic speech, praise, or giggles. Gabriella was happy for the distraction. It was obvious to her that Troy wasn't paying any more attention than she was. Every once in a while he'd mutter a 'yea' or an 'really, wow'. Nothing solid, nothing more than the occasional glance and even then Gabriella knew he was only looking over at her. She could feel his glance burning into her. After a while she stopped pretending, so did he. Kelsi was now texting Ryan and the car was quite as he drove into the parking lot for the campus.

When the car was parked and everyone got out, Troy helped carry the bags up to the dorm. And the girls took the bags from the door to the room. When Gabriella brought the last bag into the room she'd entered into the room to find Kelsi and Taylor smiling at her with knowing expressions.

"You told her?" Gabriella said a little mortified.

"Troy," Taylor said with smirk.

Gabriella shifted her weight to the left and did her best to be annoyed but the smile on her face was hard to resist and she rolled her eyes instead. "Alright, alright I give up!" she said with a giddy feeling in her stomach. "I like him. A lot."

"Does he know?" Taylor asked looking over at Kelsi

"They're going to the beach to drink and party." Kelsi said with a smile. "He said the guys were doing a small hang out."

Taylor smile grew as she held up the bag of comic goodies. "I say we get dolled up and go join the party."

Both girls bust into giggles as Kelsi picked up her phone and started texting a number.

"But wouldn't that be awkward, I mean we weren't invited." Gabriella said as she bit her lip.

Taylor quickly pulled the zipper from Gabriella sweater down and helped her out of it. "You need to show some skin." She said as she tucked her shirt down and brought her hands up to adjust her boobs.

Gabriella started giggling as stood there mouth agape. "Oh my god." She said lifting her arms to cover her boobs a little.

"Ryan said it's okay." Kelsi said as she jumped up and down. Putting her phone down she came over to Gabriella and began helping Taylor by removing Gabriella hair band and teasing her hair.

"What are you doing?" Gabriella said as she flinched and jerk from their touches.

Taylor came over with a tube of pink lip gloss. "Giving you a shot to lay the sexy on him." Taylor said with giggle as she took a step back. "Do have anything in red that's hot?"

"I don't know," Gabriella said as she looked at Kelsi and Taylor with a worried expression.

"It's okay, we're here for you." Taylor said dramatically.

Kelsi raced over to Gabriella closet and pulled the chain light, "Do you have a push up bra!" she shouted as she came out with something black.

Gabriella felt her stomach do a nervous dance. "We're really doing this?"


	26. Chapter 26

"You really think about that?" Zeke said as he leaned back on log.

"Yeah, two girls just wrestling in pink jelly." Ryan said with a smirk before Tom could answer. "I've heard that story about four or five times."

"Yeah, well, I'm just saying if we got the pink jelly we might see it happen." Tom said leaning forward to poke the fire with a stick. "It's be better than this power puff football idea?"

"I can't believe I gotta wear a skirt for this?" Zeke said covering his eyes.

"Why are we doing this again?" Ryan asked.

"Because I need volunteers for the fundraiser and you guys owe me." Troy said as he approached them and placed the case of beer by the cooler.

"Troy what took you so long man?" Zeke said getting up to open the cooler.

"Yeah we were beginning to think you were brewing the beer yourself." Ryan got up and stole a the last beer from the cooler as Zeke opened the new box.

"I ran into Kelsi and Gabriella, they needed a ride back to campus." Troy said taking off his sweater and tossing it off to the side. "What was I suppose to do leave them there?"

"Yes," Tom said with a smirk. "It was a beer run not a pussy run, no offense Ryan."

Ryan rolled his eyes as he opened the beer and took another seat. "Why are we hanging out with this guy?"

"Because Chad and Troy aren't talking?" Tom answered. "Face it you guys need another boy for your group."

"No we don't," Ryan said giving Tom the eye.

"Relax," Troy said sitting next to Tom, "We're taking things one day at time."

"Is there a truce in the war on the horizon?" Zeke said as he opened his beer.

"No promises about a truce but I did invite him down." Troy said, "I need another cheerleader. No one owes me more than he does," Troy laid back against a log with a smirk as he got comfortable.

"You sir are an evil mastermind." Zeke said with smirk.

"Oh boy," Ryan said to himself as he looked up to see his sister's car pulling up. Reaching for his phone he sent another Text Kelsi's way.

Gabriella and Taylor skipped ahead as Kelsi reached into her purse for her cell phone. "Come on Kelsi!" Taylor said turning around to wave her over. They were in the parking lot at the beach and they could see the bonfire light below on the beach.

Kelsi read the message on her phone and winced as she looked over to see Sharpay's car pull up in the parking lot. Taylor's face fell and Gabriella felt Taylor's hand grip tighter almost squeezing hers.

"We can leave," Gabriella said quickly. "We can go back to the room and watch kill bill and eat tons of junk food."

Kelsi walked over to them and frowned. "Come on Taylor,"

"No." Taylor said with a sigh, "I can't just keep avoiding her and I'm sure as hell not going to run away." she said with a nod. "Come on girls," she said taking Kelsi's hand and together they walked past the car and began to make their way down the stairs.

The girls removed their shoes once they hit the sand and Taylor and Kelsi giggled as she ran up to everyone else. Kelsi jumping into Ryan's arms and Taylor offering Zeke a hug. Taking a deep breath Gabriella held her shoes in her hands as they approached the bonfire at her own pace. She spotted Troy instantly he was laying back resting his head on a log looking up at the sky. She was wearing a black lose fitting dress with her hair down in loose curls over her shoulders. Looking down at her clothes one more time she felt a little hesitation. A small need to cover herself up and hide the body she'd been resenting for so long. Admittedly she'd been holding herself responsible for the crime, either in whole or in part. She reasoned that she was flirting or wearing sexually provocative clothing that she may have encouraged the assault. That she deserved what she got just for being a female.

Lifting a free hand she shifted her hair from her face. People who believe that the world is intrinsically fair may find it difficult or impossible to accept a situation in which a person is badly hurt for no reason. Many rape survivors suffer from long-lasting emotional effects recovering from rape aftermath. But that's what she was, a rape survivor. She'd experience feelings of shame and guilt because she believed that she was responsible for the rape and for failing to prevent unwanted force sexual activity from occurring. She'd changed so much since the tragic event. She knew better.

Troy shifted so he was sitting up now, laughing at something Taylor said. Then his eyes landed on her, his blue eyes sought out hers as if he hadn't seen her in years rather than just a the hour they were apart. "Hey you," he said with a smile.

"Can I have seat?" she asked motioning to the spot beside him.

"Sure," he said adjusting himself a little as he watched her sink down to his level and sit beside him.

"You look amazing," he said leaning out a little to get a full view of her.

"Thanks," Gabriella said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," Sharpay said as her and Chad approached the bonfire. "How is everyone?" Chad stood a little behind her holding her hand as he looked around their friends with a bit of uncertainly.

"I think this is awkward." Tom said only to get a sharp nudge from Zeke's elbow. "Well it is," he said with a wince.

"I think we're all just fine." Zeke said. Everyone was quite for a moment until Troy spoke. "Hey Chad I need a favor, and seeing how you owe me one and all I was thinking maybe you could volunteer for the powder puff games as a cheerleader?"

"Do I have to wear a skirt?" Chad said with a frown.

"A very pink skirt," Zeke chimed as he reached for a beer from the cooler.

"So are you in?" Troy said with a smirk.

Chad took a deep breath as he looked from Taylor to Sharpay then back at Troy. "Yeah, I'll do it."

Everyone broke out into cheers which shifted into laughter and then quitted as people began to break into pairs for conversation.

"Hey Tay, can I talk to you?" Sharpay asked as she walked up to Taylor.

"Yeah," she said getting up from her spot next to Zeke and following Sharpay out into the distance.

Gabriella watched as they began talking back and forth. She let out a sigh as she leaned back against the log. "Do you think they'll be okay?" she said towards Troy as he shifted his attention back to her from Taylor and Sharpay.

"Maybe," Troy said with a shrug, "I mean I don't think things can go back to the way they were but I think they can be on good terms."

Gabriella shifted a little as she looked up at the fire and watched the lights and shadows on their feet from the flames. Feeling his stare she looked back up at him and confirmed her suspicion. He was watching her.

"You're a good friend, for both of them." Troy said with grin as he rested an arm on his knee shifting his body so he was facing her. "So what happened to girl's night?"

Gabriella smiled as she looked away from him and over at Ryan and Kelsi who were making out. Quickly her eyes shifted over to Chad and Zeke who were talking about something with Tom. With all her outs currently occupied she turned back to Troy. "We decided that this might be fun," she said in low voice as she tucked another strand of hair behind her ear.

"And is it?" Troy said letting his eyes wonder over her shoulders at the sun kissed skin.

"I don't know," Gabriella said bitting her lip as she looked back at the fire her eyes looked up over the flames at Kelsi and Ryan who were still lip locked in a passionate kiss. Looking away again she thought about Troy's lips, if they would be soft, or if he wondered the same about her own. Suddenly she felt uncomfortable. The anxious feeling seemed to consume her all at once and she let out a breath as she attempted to sooth the flips and flutters of her insides. Looking back at Troy she noted his distance towards her. They sat side by side but there was defiantly a line in sand between them.

"What can I do to improve your bonfire experience?" Troy said as he picked up a small twig and tossed it lazily into the fire.

Gabriella looked down at her hands and then at the space between them. Why was there so much space between them? Her hair fell a little and covered her face offering her some cover she suddenly wanted. He was still watching her. Lifting her knees to her chest she wrapped her arms around them to hold them close.

"Hey," Zeke said suddenly. "Do you guys breathe, ever?" he said directing his comment to Ryan and Kelsi who broke out into giggles as they rolled their eyes.

"Sorry," Kelsi said wiping her bottom lip a little. "So what's new?"

"When did you guys happen?" Chad said pointing a finger between Kelsi and Ryan.

"Last month," Ryan said wrapping his arm around Kelsi. "She kept stalking me." he said with a laugh.

"Yeah but you asked me out," Kelsi said with a giggle as she poked him with her finger.

Troy smiled, "Their always making out," he added. "It's that new relationship feel, that can't get enough, can't eat, sleep or think of anything else but the next time you get to touch."

"Yeah," Chad said with a small smile as he watched Sharpay and Taylor walking back towards them.

"Gross," Tom said as he rolled his eyes, "Some of us are not as pussy whipped as others." He said turning his attention to Gabriella. "Who are you anyway?"

"Gabriella," she offered politely as she extended her hand.

"Thomas Willard. The guys call me Tom" Tom said with a smile.

"The guys don't call you anything," Ryan said with an annoyed expression. "Seriously who invited you?"

Troy looked over at Gabriella with a chuckle "You want to go for a walk or something?"

"Sure," she said after a moments of hesitation.

Once they were both up and walking away from the group Troy let out a sigh, "So, tell me about your first boyfriend?"

Gabriella raised a brow as she looked over at him. "That's an odd request?"

"Then tell me about the first childhood memory you ever had?" Troy countered as he turned around walking backward to see her.

Gabriella smiled as she shook her head, for a moment she thought about it. "I think the earliest memory I have is sitting on the top of the kitchen counter talking to my mom while she made dinner."

"My first memory is building this tree house with my dad, and when I say build I mean I held the instructions." Troy said with a smile.

Gabriella giggled as she tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. "I bet you were an awesome helper." She said as she looked out into the water. Her breath caught as she seen the beauty before her. "Wow,"

"Yeah," he said watching her intently.

Gabriella turned back to Troy, "Why do you keep staring at me?"

"Because you're beautiful," Troy said as he tucked his hands into pockets. "And because more than anything I want to touch you."

"Why won't you?" Gabriella asked feeling her chest rise and fall more rapidly.

"Because I don't know if I can." Troy said a little hesitant. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He said taking a step closer to her and looking at her brown eyes as if they held all the meaning to life. "I don't wanna steal you away, or make you change the things that you believe I just wanna be here listening to everything you say, and be try to be everything you need. Whatever happens after that is just a bonus." He said taking another step closer to her.

She was almost leaning against him, they were almost touching, his arms flexed as if he was restraining himself from taking another step further. His blue eyes becoming sharper from this proximity, keeping his distance but close enough for her to feel his breath on her bottom lip as his chest began to rise and fall more rapidly. Gabriella felt her own breathing pick up as she stood there, so close to him and yet barely touching. She could almost feel that instinct to lean in further, that pulling sensation to press her lips against his and that bitter flutter in her stomach that pinched with fear and excitement at the same time. Gabriella bit her lip as she looked around the deserted beach and then back at him. "I don't think I can take another breath if you don't touch me," she said in low voice before looking down at her hands.

Troy hands lifted and with his right hand he reached to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. With his left hand he wrapped it around her pulling her towards him. The soft touch of her against them as their eyes met. It was as if all the air was sucked out from his lungs. "You're an amazing woman,"

"I'm just a teenage girl." She said with small smile as she leaned in a little further. At first she was trembling with fear as she approached his lips. On impact there was a rush of relief, a flooding of warmth and everything inside her felt like it needed him to keep living. When he kissed her back she felt herself wrapping her arms around him to bring him close as he shifted his hand to her neck claiming her as his own. And she wanted to be his, she wanted him to claim her, she wanted to belong to him, to touch him, to be touched by him. A moan escaped her lips as they moved further the feeling a rock on her back stopped her as they continued to kiss. Troy pulled away placing a hand on the rock behind her as he took a breath.

Gabriella felt everything inside her sharpen as she felt her body awaken. Goosebumps crawled up her skin, down her arms sizzling on his touch as his hands lightly held her wrist out beside them. The breathe on her lower lip drawing her in and charming her taste buds into craving the tangy, salty taste of his skin. Her brown eyes darted into his blue ones crashing like head on collision. That familiar sensation coming into her knees making them shake, like a slow crawl it crept up her thighs turning up the heat and causing her to sweat. There it was. The feeling that she thought had left her. That feeling she never thought she'd feel again. That pool of moisture between her legs, that throbbing sensation of desire and possession.

Troy let out a groan as the expression of sexual desire came over her facial features. It was the most intimate moment they'd ever shared. They were so close and yet miles apart, so charged and burnt out at the same time. Troy inhaled and smelled the jasmine and vanilla of her skin. Clamping down on his own jaw he squeezed hard to avoid the urge to take her lips. "What are we doing?"

"I think I'm turned on?" Gabriella said a little embarrassed.

"Should we stop?" Troy asked annoyed with himself for asking.

Gabriella shook her head and leaned forward taking his lips with hers and slipping her hands under his shirt.


	27. Chapter 27

Gabriella stood in the door way of the large room looking inside. There was a large circle of chairs set up and a table with beverages and snack off to the left. Looking back at her watch she bit her lip as she turned away again. Her hair was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail. She was wearing a pair of jeans and University t-shirt. She could almost feel an anxiety making it's way up her throat. She felt sick and dizzy at the same time, almost like at any moment she was going to faint. Crossing her arms she looked down the hallway once more.

A girl came from down the hall slowly walking towards her. "Hey," the girl said as she came to a stop in the doorway as well. She was wearing sweat pants and a sweater. "Are you here for group?" she said fidgeting a little as she pulled her sleeves down over her palms. She looked frail, 16 or 15 at least. Gabriella suddenly felt sick to her stomach as more people began to filter in. "My name is Nina,"

"Gabriella," she said taking looking at the girls hands. Her fingernails were gnawed down to the a mere stub. Gabriella recognize the hesitant distance and mistrust. Gabriella tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked back down than hall then at the girl. "I'm just waiting on a friend." She said uncrossing her arms and shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Oh," the young girl said as she looked back into the room. "I guess I'll see you inside." Without another word she walked in leaving Gabriella alone again in the hall. Another glance at a clock hanging over the trophy case in the hall and she felt a heighten sense of fear kick in. Turning around she intended to make a mad dash back to the bus stop outside. However she stepped into the chest of someone solid.

"It's okay." Troy said placing both hands on her shoulders.

"You're late." Gabriella said as she looked up at him with a small frown.

"And you were what, thirty minutes early?" Troy said with a soft smile. "It's alright they haven't even started yet."

Gabriella bit her lip as she looked up at Troy with worry. "We could go for pizza?"

Troy let out a sigh as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "We're going to do this, Remember we're in this together." Troy hands dropped to his side and he gave her his best smile as he reached out his hand. "You can squeeze my hand the whole time."

"Why are we doing this again?" Gabriella said taking a deep breath.

"Because your doctor thinks a group session would be good for you." Troy said in a soft voice. "Because we agreed to go together so you wouldn't be alone in there."

"Right," Gabriella closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.

"Because I love you, and I know you can do this." Troy added as he placed a soft kiss on her temple.

Gabriella let out another sigh as she turned back to look into the room. Another person walk passed them inside.

"We better go in and get a seat." Troy said with a gentle nudge.

"Alright," Gabriella said with a small nod. After a moment's hesitation she stepped inside griping onto Troy's hand as he followed.

Finding a seat they sat beside each other still joined at the hands as Gabriella nervously shook her leg as the circle became more crowded.

"Hello everyone," A man in a jean jacket and came into the room, he removed his shoulder bag and placed it off to the side, a task that Gabriella watched intently. "I see some new faces." He said looking around the room. "Always a good thing!" he added excitedly.

There was a pause as he walked toward the table and poured himself a drink. Gabriella looked around the room at all the faces stopping to rest on Troy's who was watching her with concern.

"It's okay," he said in a low voice giving her hand a little squeeze.

"This circle is an open circle, a place where we can talk freely about the things we thing about." The man said as he walked towards the circle. "The only mandatory participation is that you introduce yourself. Other than that we provide a place of love and safety for all. My name is Jackson Park and I will be hosting the circle." He said letting his eyes fall on Gabriella. "I promise not to bore you." He said lifting his cup to his lips. "At least not too much." He added receiving a chuckle from some.

"I'll go first." The girl from the hall said standing up.

"Wonderful, shall we begin," The man said with a smile as he took his seat.

"My name is Nina, and I'm 17 years old." She said looking around at everyone. "I've been coming to group for year now."

"Wonderful," Jackson nodded in approval. "Next," he said looking at Troy.

Troy nodded and stood his hand still holding onto Gabriella's. "My name is Troy. I am 23 years old, this is my first time coming to group and I am here to support my girlfriend." He said motioning to Gabriella.

Slowly he sat down and Gabriella slowly stood up. "Hi," she said looking around at everyone faces. "My name is Gabriella, I am just recently turned 21." She said with a smile as she looked around the room. "The last time I went to group it didn't really go well for me. I'm hoping this time it will be different."

"We are all here for you Gabriella," Jackson said with a smile as he nodded.

Gabriella sat down and felt the biggest sigh of relief rush through her as she looked over at Troy and saw him looking back at her with pride and excitement. Gabriella felt her nerves settle as she now leaned back and began to listen to the others as they introduced themselves.


	28. Chapter 28

I apologize for the late update. I recently lost my job and as a result have been a little out of it. I just turned 25 on the 1st and just got all my Student loans up to date. This drawback has been a little more depressing than the last time. Once again I'm really sorry for the late response.

Enough about me. Happy New Year guys.

Troy sat in the common hall waiting for Gabriella to get ready, he was wearing a suit minus the tie. His slacks were pressed his shoes shined he got a haircut and trimmed his face. Ever since he graduated he'd been dealing with his residency at California Medical. The hours were long and he had very few days off in between but he'd spent them all with Gabriella. He started going with her to group as a recommendation from her psychiatrist. Things had changed so much from when they first met. Now they were holding hands and making out, they were talking and staying up until late hours just laying their and talking about their dreams. To say he was in love was an understatement.

Gabriella was a girl worth fighting for and a girl worth waiting for. He adored her kindness and her strength; he was thrill to be there by her side watching her become stronger watching her take on new responsibilities. Gabriella had recently started working at a crisis center, answering calls and talking to young kids who didn't have anywhere else to go or anyone to talk to. He admired her so much and he couldn't believe that this shy girl he met just a little over a year ago in the doorway was the same woman who was taking charge of her feelings and emotions and using them not only to help others but to be her own person all over again. It was their one year anniversary tonight. An important date, a big dinner date. Just then Sharpay and Kelsi were walking by and he waved politely.

"So," Sharpay said as she stopped and dropped to the couch beside him. "Where are you taking her?"

"Somewhere," Troy said with a smile.

"Is that somewhere romantic?" Kelsi said sitting down on the coffee table in front of him.

"Dinner not so much but my plans for after the dinner," Troy said looking down the hall for Gabriella. "They are in the ball park of romantic."

"You've been quite the mystery man these last few days Troy." Kelsi said leaning back on a little. "How is the residency?"

"Torture," Troy said with a sigh, "I love it but the hours and shifts are killing me, I actually fell asleep while standing in line at star bucks the other day."

"Sounds like you need a good night's rest." Sharpay said with frown.

"I'm alright, I mean it's a job, it's one year, and then I can practice family medicine." Troy said with a smile. "I can't wait."

"Your parents have to be so proud of you." Kelsi said.

"Wow," Sharpay gasped a little as her attention shifted down the hall.

Troy and Kelsi followed as well to find Gabriella, making her way towards them. She was in a red dress that that had a touch of glitter on the end of it. Her hair was down and wavy around her shoulders and the dress drifted side to side as she walked towards them.

"If you ladies will excuse me," Troy said standing up and adjusting his jacket. "I have a date with a beautiful woman."

Gabriella sat in the car comfortably as she held Troy hand. The music from the radio played out quietly as she watched the people and building go by out the window.

"You're awfully quite tonight," Troy said briefly looking over at her then back at the road. "Did I do something?"

"Not at all," Gabriella said tucking a strand of hair behind her ears, "Just thinking about us."

Troy nodded as he merged into the left lane. "Anything I should be thinking about?" Troy said giving her hand a little squeeze.

"Do you miss sex?"

Caught off guard the car took a small serve and he let go of her hand to bring both hands on the wheel. "Whoa," he said looking at her then back at the road. "Where did that come from?"

"I don't know, we've been together for a year and we just haven't…" Gabriella looked over at him with a nervous expression. "Do you think we're ready?"

Troy was quiet for a moment. "Babe the only reason I don't bring it up is because it's not my decision." Troy came to a stop at a red light and he looked over at her. "It's not like we haven't tried or done other things, and you know I'm not complaining. If you think you're ready then when the time is right I guess, it will just happen." Troy said with a shrug.

"Why not tonight?" Gabriella said giving him a small smile.

"Because tonight we're going to dinner?" Troy said with a smirk.

"So," Gabriella said as she shrugged a little. "Can't we spend the night at your place after?"

A horn sounded from behind and Troy jerk as he turned his attention back to road. "Alright my place it is but I warn you it's a mess."

"Thank you," Gabriella said with smile as she looked out the window again.

The car went back into claim quietness and Troy glanced over at her as she looked out the window. "You know if you moved in," he said a little nervous, "We wouldn't have to run around and make out in your dorm room, or in hall of the dorm, or in my car." Troy looked over at her with a smile. "Not that I'm complaining."

"I don't know?" Gabriella said look back at him. "I mean do you think we're ready for that?"

Troy looked back at the road as they turned down the street. "Well we did just decide to have sex." Troy said with a shrug. "Maybe we should slow down." Troy said with an exasperated sigh, "What was I thinking."

Gabriella let out a giggle as she rolled her eyes. "Point made." She said shaking her head.

"I'm just saying it's been a year. My parents like you, your parents think I'm… well they like the fact that'll be a doctor." He said with a wince.

"They adore you," Gabriella said as she nudged him.

"Is that what they call it?" Troy said with sigh, "because I gotta tell you the last time they were in town I swear I saw your father measuring me for a coffin."

"They're overprotective," Gabriella said with a sigh, "with reason."

Troy let out a sigh, "I know."

"Does it bother you?" Gabriella asked with a raised brow.

"No," Troy said glancing her way again. "I understand it. Parents worry about everything."

"I meant the reason." Gabriella said with a small sigh.

"The rape?" Troy said reaching for her hand. "You know I don't care about that?" Troy said bringing her hand up to his lips. "It's been a year, Gabi. If it bothered me I wouldn't be here by your side now would I?"

"No I guess not. It's just that I know that I've come a long way." Gabriella said turning slightly so she could face him. "I'm talking at a big survivor event next week. If this goes well the crisis center will get a grant for the safe house renovation."

"Why are you telling me this? I already know about the speech, I've listened to it twice already." Troy said with a raised brow.

"Because a news crew will be there and I'm giving them an interview." Gabriella said with a shrug. "Taylor and I were talking last night and she said something that made me think,"

"Finally the root of all this!" Troy said as he began to park the car. "What did Taylor say?"

"Well she said that men don't like it when they become just that guy that dates that girl on tv or in our case that guy who dates the rape chick."

"Do people actually call you that?" Troy said as he turned off the car.

"No, I'm just saying." Gabriella said. "Our relationship is under enough pressure with the sex and where it's going that I just don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Troy said turning so he was facing her now.

"It feels like something is missing." Gabriella said looking at him and biting her lip a little.

"Is this how we got to the "do you miss sex" question?" Troy asked a little confused.

Gabriella was quite as she looked back at the French restaurant outside across the street. "I just don't want you to get bored, or feel like I'm outshining you, or give you a sense of urgency." Gabriella held out her hand to take his. "I love you."

"I'm sensing a but," Troy let out a huff of air as he felt his lungs tighten.

"No but, I just think that we're ready to move to another level and it's a huge deal." Gabriella said with small smile. "Especially for me. I'm just can't help that I'm a little insecure."

"Well, stop it because insecurities have no right being on that pretty little mind of yours." Troy said with a smile. Troy went silent as he looked at her, watching her closely. "I want you, I don't care about the what you're doing or what you've done or what's been done. I think having you in my life is probably the best thing that's ever happen to me."

"Troy,"

"I know that you bit your lip when you don't know what to say, you tuck you hair behind your ears when your uncomfortable. You turn beat red when you feel embarrassed." he said looking at her plush bottom lip and the faint glow on her cheeks. "I know that you don't like it when any of the food on your plate touches, I know that you're brave, sincere and quirky." Troy was closer now; he could feel her breath on his bottom lip as he tried to remain as still as possible. "I know what happened doesn't dictate your life, but it has certainly made an impact on how you expect to be treated, and that is with respect at all times, at least that's how I intend to treat you."

Gabriella inhaled sharply as she watched him come closer to her there lips were almost touching and his scent was everywhere, letting her eyes drift shut she moved forward pressing her lips softly against his. The kiss held for about 3 seconds but it felt longer, to feel the soft but firm touch of his lips against hers, to feel that bristle of face hair that lightly lingered. She opened her eyes and looked into the blue eyes staring at back at her. "Thank you," she said in low voice.


	29. Chapter 29

"Many survivors seek the resolution of their traumatic experience within the confines of their personal lives. But a significant minority, as a result of the trauma, feel called upon to engage in a wider world." Gabriella said as she clutched the podium in front of her. Looking out into the sea of people sitting in the library hanging on her every word she took another deep breath and looked down at Troy who was smiling up at her with admiration. "Initially," she continued "I decided to speak out because I was sick of the social stigma that has shamed survivors of rape into silence. I have become impatient from waiting for society to change and make it safer place for survivors to speak out."

"Initially, when I began to speak out, I wanted to send a message about overcoming shame, but found in the aftermath that I still very much felt ashamed and afraid that people would say negative things. I knew intellectually that I had no reason to be ashamed, but if you are a survivor, you know that it can take longer for intellectual truth to reach your gut. Although I am not sorry for any past speaking out activity, I don't know if I was ready in those early days. It's very important that survivors only proceed if they feel ready, not because they think they should."

_Gabriella tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you going to be there today?" she asked sitting up in her just her bra, the sheets covering her from the waist down. She smiled over a Troy who lay next to her with a gentle smile on his features. _

"_Wild dogs couldn't keep me away from being there in the front row." Troy said as he came up on his elbow and placed a small kiss on her shoulder. "You're an amazing woman." _

_Gabriella let out a sigh as his lips pressed against her soft skin, the feeling of it making her warm inside. She had hopelessly fallen in love with this man despite all her efforts to keep him at arm's length she still ended up trapped by his charm. Captivated in his spotlight that seemed to shine down on her and only her. "Do you love me?"_

"_I love you so much it takes my breath away." Troy said resting his chin on her shoulder. "Do you love me?"_

"_Maybe?" she said with a smirk as she looked at their reflection from the mirror hanging on the door to his bedroom. _

"_Maybe?" Troy said with a playful pout._

"For me, this is the start of change." Gabriella said as pointed to the California Crisis Center's banner behind her. "Why is speaking out about sexual assault a good thing socially?" Gabriella asked a camera went off from the right. "Survivors of sexual assault who publicly speak out push the gears of change forward for the silence that surrounds this crime. The simple act of speaking out can end the false sense of shame that survivors often carry. I know because I've been there." Gabriella looked down at the podium taking a moment to catch her breath. "When I was seventeen I was abducted from sidewalk in the middle of the day. That day August 17th marks the death of innocence Gabriella Marie Montez. But August 18th marks the day of her rebirth. The day I was found on side of the interstate highway clinging to life by a thread. Since then I have gone through therapy, group, loneliness, depression, attempts of suicide and the overwhelming amount of shame that seems the breath from my lungs."

_Gabriella shifted in the bed next to him as he adjust himself so he was sitting up beside her taking her hand in his. "When I first saw you I was afraid to meet you." She said slowly rocking towards him and nudging him a little. "When I met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you I was afraid to love you. And now," she said looking at him as her hair shifted and fell down her shoulder. "Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you."Gabriella said with raised brow as she tilted her head to rest against his. _

"_That's never going to happen." Troy said bringing her hand to his lips and placing a small kiss on the back of her hand. "When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me." Troy said as he lifted her chin towards him so he could look at her brown eyes. "I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're one hell of a woman."_

Gabriella eyes landed on Troy again and he nodded his encouragement. His strength somehow helping her stand, helping her keep from shaking like a leaf and from her knees buckling underneath her. "In speaking out about my rape, I have received many warm and heartfelt words and moments from people who felt very isolated but who now know that they're not alone, that they can seek help, and that they can heal. Seeing people's lives changing in this way is one of the greatest fruits my efforts can bear, and I am intensely glad to have used my voice to help facilitate it." she said with a pride. "Sexual assault and its wounds flourish in an atmosphere of secrecy, silence and myth. Speaking out brings it into the light. Your act of speaking out has the power to heal and change on a broader scale than you may know; never doubt it."

Looking back down at her notes she shuffled the paper around in front of her and then looked up again. "You're probably wondering why speaking out about sexual assault is good on a personal level. You might even be thinking isn't embarrassing, terrifying or almost impossible to say the words." Gabriella paused for a moment. "I have experienced the sense that not only does speaking out help other survivors feel less isolated, but that I, too, feel less alone as I step up and join others engaged in the same battle. It is also richly empowering to have transformed my experiences into the ability to offer something worthwhile to other survivors. In speaking out, you become part of destroying the forces that have harmed you. You come to realize that this is my life and even though I could not control that moment I can control my reaction and actions moving forward." She said raising her voice over the applause from the crowd.

"_You give any thought to moving in with me," Troy said as he pushed himself up further and nudged her tousled hair off her shoulder so he could place a kiss on the nape of her neck. _

"_One condition," Gabriella said as she pulled away from him a little to get his full attention. _

"_That is?"_

"_We have to buy new bed sheets," she said holding up the one they were currently wrapped in. "These have basketballs on them." _

"_What, you mean these don't turn you on?" Troy said lifting the sheet to hold it against his chest. _

_Gabriella let out a giggle as she shook her head, "We also need to buy an actual couch, because that thing out there is an abomination."_

"_That's two conditions," Troy said sitting up with a little more seriousness. _

"_And the naked girl poster has to go," Gabriella said motioning to the poster to there left._

"_She's not naked?" Troy said. _

"_A thong does not equal clothing." Gabriella said getting up on her feet and standing over him in the bed. _

"_What are you doing?" he said watching as she made her way over to the poster. Her panties were fitted to her covering the essentials but leaving little to the imagination. Troy took in a sharp breath from the view. _

"_You've had this for how long?"_

"_Freshmen year of college." Troy said a little worried as he braced himself. _

"_She's past her prime Troy," she said using her right hand to pull the poster from the wall. _

"_Oh," Troy said with a wince as he dragged a hand through his hair. "You're evil."_

_Gabriella turned to face him crumpling the poster up in her hands creating a ball._

"_You feel good about that?" Troy said standing up as well. "This that's funny?" he said jokingly. _

"_Hilarious," Gabriella said tossing the ball to the side. _

_Troy gently tackled her to the bed in a playful manor, both of them erupting with laughter as they went from tickles to kisses, from kisses to soft moans and touches._

The speech had gone well, and people were signing up to help with the safe house project. The room was buzzing with people talking and sharing ideas, trying their best to find ways to help. Gabriella stood with Troy by her side as the reporter held the microphone to her.

"What effect has this had on your personal life?" She asked.

Gabriella smiled as she squeezed Troy's hand for support. "Sometimes after doing an interview, I would feel quite sad, though again, not sorry I did it. It seems to bring the parts of me that were hurt closer to the surface. I mean it always easier to speak honestly to an impartial journalist than somebody closer to me." she said with a small grin to Troy. "Answering questions about what has happened to me as honestly as possible, and providing detail, could be quite triggering. It was necessary to take good care of myself at these times and luckily I have found someone who makes me stronger and loves me unconditionally. I mean in the beginning I did worry about becoming a "professional victim", or the "victim" that the media wheels in when they want a rape story. However, the benefits of speaking out have by far outweighed these concerns, and I certainly do not feel as if speaking out has locked me into a victim identity."

When the reporter left Troy tugged on her hand loosely. "You alright?"

"I'm alright," Gabriella said with a deep breath.

"Are you hungry?" Troy said with a small smile as he wrapped an around her waist bringing her closer. "Zeke and Taylor are going to the pizza parlor they asked if we wanted to tag along? Even offered to pay seeing as who it's your big day."

Gabriella smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm so tired but surging with Adrenaline at the same time you know?"

"Speaking in front 200 or so people can do that to a person," Troy said with pause.

"Do you think it was successful?" Gabriella asked.

Troy looked around at all the people walking around them. Groups of people huddled together, individuals at the table filling out information. "I think it went really well," Troy said placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "Better than anyone would have expected and you were amazing."

"I hugged a lot of people today," she said as they began to walk to the door.

"You did," he said with a chuckle as he used his free hand to push the door open for them.

"Maybe I should re-think this whole living with one man thing?" she said as she came out into the fresh air. "I mean at this rate I could be dating three men at once by Christmas."

"Hey, hey, hey" Troy said pulling her by the arm closer to him. "Slow down there." He said as he brushed some of her hair to the side. "We made conditions, a poster has killed." Troy said with smirk, "We've gone too far to turn back now."

"I guess," she said with a smile as she took his hand in hers.

"You guess," Troy said bringing a finger to bop her nose. "Come on let's go get in on this supposedly free pizza thing before they come to their senses and realize how much I can eat."

Gabriella let out a laugh as she followed him falling into step as she walked beside him.


	30. Chapter 30

The ending

It seems that I forgot an important part to this story and that is to say the end. Yes this story has come to a close and I think that the purpose of writing this story was fulfilled. Troy and Gabriella journey on this one has come to a close. I know I have a bad habit of abrupt endings and I am working so hard at making that work better.

As for the job market I have found a new job as a Risk Support Associate for Transportation Solutions Enterprises. The pay isn't as much as what I made as a loan auditor but I can safely say that this job is so much more to me. I start at seven and I'm out by four where as I use to leave the house at seven and be home by eight or nine. This job is 20 minutes away from my home, Interbank was about an hour away. All in all I think this might be a better fit for me. My workload keeps me busy and it's not stressful. I can honestly say coming home at 4:30 and having the rest of the day for me and just a for sure not having to also work on Saturdays is …. A BLESSING.

Thank you for everyone's words and strength, seriously I want to make you guys proud and happy. I want us to have fun and enjoy the art of storytelling. I cannot stress enough how sharing these stories with you help me. Times are tough, last year I lost some family. Not in the way of loved one passing, but because of some tough choices and exchanged words my father hasn't spoken to me in 6 months. My mother and I have just started to communicate after not talking for 8 months. With my little sister away at college and recent found older sister who just appeared on my father doorstep … it's a bit tricky. I don't know if I've told you guys this but I went from the oldest to the middle child in a nano minute, became someone little sister and an aunt of two all in the same week. Not to mention that this third daughter discovery is breaking my parents marriage apart.

Granted this change happened some time ago … but give a sista a break. Family is family and for everyone to just quit on each other. It breaks my heart.

So trust me these stories although not much, help. Your words no matter what keep me smiling and going in tough times. I have to admit this new job has light a fire of inspiration under my ass. I am currently on chapter 11 and going strong for a new story due out in the next few days. Right now it's not titled and I as soon as I can think of one I'm posting it. I think you guys are going to like this one.

With loads of love,

Anais


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